• What prevents me from learning how to do something is not the actual act of doing it, but rather my intrest in learning it. For example, I have never been able to learn computer coding. Not because it was too difficult, but because I never had any interest in the process after completely my initial task
• I forgot how peaceful it could be when the voices stop.
• I’m finally ready to share myself with the world
• Loose girls with sharp minds are my weakness
• Poetry now speaks to me in a way it has never before
• Love truly is my greatest inspiration
• My favorite things: Philosophy = Spirit, Writing = Mind, and Music = Body
• Understanding doesn’t make your a good person; caring makes your a good person
• I enjoy writing poetry because poetry is a much more flexible form of literature and expression. It is not about writing something that can be understood. It’s about writing something that can be felt
• I’m excited when I see a lot of potential. I’m uncontrollably excited when I see guaranteed potential.
• The difference between potential and guaranteed potential:
1. Potential: A combination of elements that can be arranged into something greater than the sum of its parts
2. Guaranteed Potential: A near finished product, or one waiting for ignition
3. Example – Potential: would be like a box of lego->you can make something great from it, but incompetence or outside factors like time/space to build will mean that your creation ends up a total mess.
4. Example – Guaranteed Potential: would be like a pre-packaged lego set. Although you still have to work and build it, and you can potentially screw it up if you don’t follow the directions, it’s practically guaranteed to be what you want.
• So I just had an idea about why people, especially those interested in philosophy, like psychedelics. Thinking about/reading/developing philosophy is kinda like you’re downloading it. It already exists, you’re just becoming aware of it. Taking psychedelics is kinda like installing it. That’s why the world “makes sense” after a trip. You didn’t learn something new, you were just able to apply the lessons you have learned from living. After my trip, I still believe/know the same things, but I felt like I can actually apply my philosophy to my life.
• Or maybe a better example is that studying philosophy is like finding the puzzle pieces to life/reality/existence, where taking psychedelics let’s you put the pieces together.
• The last could of years was like downloading my philosophy, while the shrooms trip was like installing it.
• “Downloading vs installing” would be an equivalent to “knowing vs believing”
• I’m no longer fragmented, because I no longer solve the universe
• She is my inspiration, because whenever I write, I think of what she would think about it. I did it so naturally, that I never noticed. That’s why I’m so particular about my word choice. It can’t just be good enough, because she deserves the perfect words. And the reason I get such a release when I finally use the perfect words. The words aren’t for me, because I already know how I feel. They’re for her. Even though I never give them to her, I feel accomplished for making something that I think is worth her.
• Writing something for someone who won’t ever read it is like making a gift that you will never be able to give.
• Growing old is quite subtle.
• The affects of nostalgia on the “aging” of the spirit
• I just realized that I haven’t been writing essays these past couple of years. I’ve been writing poetry. That’s why I’ve always be so particular with the words that I chose. Because just like poetry, I wanted you to feel what I felt, not know what I think. I guess my goal when I write isn’t to induce sympathy, but rather empathy.
• I kinda hate myself, because the first thought I had after this realization is “I’m a poet, and I didn’t even know it!”
• The thought that I use my life to write poetry coincides with a previous thought I’ve had: “My life is my art”
• Maybe that’s why I had so much self-hate. My passion has always been poetry, but I was told poetry lame, girly, stupid, etc. I was afraid to be called that, so I refused to accept what I was doing was poetry, even though all the signs were there. So instead of pursuing poetry, I pursued something that I was good at, but not passionate about. That’s how I ended going to school for engineering, because that’s what impressive and successful people do, and I wanted to be impressive and successful.
• I guess I kinda have a better understanding of why there are so many people who are homosexual that absolutely hate other homosexuals. The fear of ridicule is so ingrained in the, that they actively and extremely pursue the opposite of it.
• Poetry is one of the best tools to handle psychedelic trips
• It’s kinda a funny story. I’ve kept notes on my phone for years, but I never really organized or showed anyone. I never really considered what I wrote as “literature” because I always thought of myself as a numbers guy. But the more I wrote, the more natural it came, and I started having fun with it. It’s kinda funny, because I recently realized a lot of my notes and essays were actually written as poetry subconsciously, so I’ve been rereading and cleaning up a lot of my old stuff in addition to my new stuff
• I think I was using pain and misery to ground me to the world
• (talk with friend) Thanks! That means more than you know.
• I’ve always been more reserved, and though I wouldn’t lie, I often hid parts of myself that I thought others wouldn’t like. That’s kind where the “I try not to make people feel awkward” comes from.
• Me organizing and sharing my writing has kinda been like me validating my existence.
• It’s also nice that there’s something I can take some pride in now.
• The reason I’m so kind to others, is because I know exactly how cruel I can be to myself.
• Being self-aware enough to notice your character traits and archetype can be frustrating, especially when you recognize you’re doing something so stereotypically tied to your character traits.
• I killed my spirit so I could learn how to revive it. Playing with death is dangerous and scary, but if you’re able to make it to the other side and back, nothing will be as hard.
♡Sugar☆World☮ 