The Immortal Reject – A Divine Comedy

Darkness opens like eyes before you; 
A shapeless structure materializes;  
An alter of abyss, scales, and a feather; 
Time to deal with my devils 

"What do you want?" I ask; 
Stupid question - it's always the same; 
Just enough to balance the scales; 
So I hand myself over to the abyss  

I step in - scales unimpressed;
One foot used to be enough when my life was gold; 
How quickly it turns into pyrite when acting the fool; 
That's what happens when you get in too deep 

I used to be afraid of suffocating in the darkness 
- Deeper and deeper and deeper I go - 
Now I only breath when I feel it in my lungs 
- Deeper and deeper and deeper I go - 

One more step and my head's underwater; 
Am I really this worthless? 
I guess I'm not losing much at least; 
Maybe I'm worth more on the other side 

Suddenly a hand pulls me back; 
Divine intervention; 
God himself fighting for my life?
Born anew, it took me time to realize 

A burned out white elephant; 
The Devil never wanted my life for himself; 
He wanted to gift God a new problem; 
God didn't save me from hell - he saved heaven from me 

God's infinite patience ran out on me; 
I didn't meet the conditions for his unconditional love; 
Unwanted normally - bored; 
Only a joke for the divines to tell 

Who said the divines can't make jokes when they made me?
A life so pathetic not even death wants me; 
A soul so worthless that God pays the Devil to take me back; 
What a story... 


The Immortal Reject - A Divine Comedy

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[Author Commentary]

So this is more on the fiction side of things. I used some of my experiences as inspiration, but more so to paint the setting rather than influencing the words. It was almost all unintentional. I had fun trying to describe infinity/abyss, so I kinda just kept building the world. And I realized it’d be a fun setting to tell a story in.

I had a lot of fun with it since I don’t normally do a narrative style like this. I normally just vomit my feelings out in words, and then trim them overgrown hedges. But with this, I got to feel like a Visionary rather than a translator for myself. It was alot of trial and error, making changes, undoing changes, etc. so that every part of the poem added to the story. I don’t like doing this with my poetry about my life normally because I feel like I’m lying about myself. But I can’t lie about the story I made up.

As for the meaning, it’s a general allegory of addiction, and the destruction of self worth that comes for trading your life for something you know will eventually kill you or make it wish it did.