the mess in my self

shattered windows readied to welcome 
the coming winter's woes - frigid cold; 
the floors frozen to my feet 
hold me in numbed reality; 
light bulb luxuries - 
excitement’s electricity bill 
too expensive when 
you need to eat; 
walls decorated in colorful dreams  
painted white - blank walls 
are apathy's aesthetic; 
i cleaned the place - i thought 
i hadn’t - i miss the mess in my self