how many kids have to die before really waking up?

i found out why all 
these heavy feelings 
keep coming back so 
strong over & over; 

i guess i really can't 
escape hellfire pain 
no matter how hard 
i try to be unaware; 

when will i get it 
through this thick 
sugar skull of mine - 
change demands action 

https://people.com/crime/texas-girl-9-intentionally-shot-domestic-disturbance-hours-after-boy-7-killed-bed-separate-shootings-houston/