I.O.U. An Apology (Anima & Animus)

After all is this time 
I still don't believe 
I have ever apologized 
At least genuinely 

All the times of me 
Trying, saying sorry 
Was little more than 
A child of a fool 
Asleep like a tool 
Sweet dreaming 
That I was cool 
Unaware the fires 
Below us like stew 
Or the nimbus storm 
Beginning to brew 

For I could see the pain 
Caused by my name 
But I thought if only 
I could fix what is seen 
Everything would come back to Me 

But I was blind to the design 
& how all that matters 
Is being Kind 
So instead - I 
Tried using my mind 
And in doing so - it seems 
I have lost track of the Time 

So now I know 
I cannot apologize 
For what I did not do 
Nor whatever pain 
I actually did 
Bring upon you 
No matter how much 
I may truly Hope to 

At least until I'm able 
To Ünderstand Whö I Am 
To Her as well as to Him 

Maybe then I can 
Finally follow through 
With any plan 
Maybe then I can 
Finally make 
The proper amends 
Maybe then I can 
Finally atone 
& return home 

Maybe one day I will be 
Able to say "sorry" 
Genuinely 
But until then 
I.O.U. an Apology