untitled note | 26 March 2021 | “if I failed”

Hey, something has been on my mind for a few days. I remember you mentioning how you had a period of time where you felt you we really mean, and that when you think back to that time, how upset you are with how you treated those people.

The emotions in those words have really stuck with me, and I can’t get them out if my mind. I remember struggling with these same problems, and I hate to imagine you going through them alone.

I was hoping that when you’re comfortable with it, if you could tell me more. For me, I was only able to come to terms with myself and move beyond my pain and regret when I said the words out loud to someone. I didn’t know how to forgive myself, but seeing them listen to me in kindness and understanding taught me how to be kind and understanding of myself, and there’s nothing more right now that I want than for you to be kind to yourself.





I guess the source of my problem that even though I care about you, I don’t much care about myself. That’s why I never reach the things that I want.

I want someone who relies on me as much as I rely on them, because then I’d finally a have a reason to not give up. I wouldn’t care if I failed myself, but I couldn’t live with myself if I failed the one I love.