untitled poem | 24 January 2023 | “Being N Love”

Trying to describe the difference 
Between a genuine, true Love & 
Being N Love with the ONE 
Reminded me of the only Two 
I knew for certain I could marry 
Because they taught me Certainty 
When I could see them N Eternity 
Like infinity well of infatuation 
& though N the moment when my head 
Had been immersed N my thirst 
Like a soft & Wet hearse 
Brain dead from their ecstasy 
Given some time & space 
I now can see the difference 

For though I had fallen headfirst 
For my first Love sent from above 
I knew deep down I was still naive 
& though I hoped for she & me 
To become We - if We didn't 
She eould be the one to leave 
Given a good enough reasoning 
& 9 months later it's happening 
& though I told myself maybe 
We would be N a future reality 
It was just a pyrite possibility 

But this second girl caught me 
By surprise - I don't know how 
She made me forget the feeling 
Of fear anytime she was leaving 
Because even though she is me 2nd 
Love - she is the first Person 
To make me believe that She 
will always be there for me 
No matter how many reasons 
I give her to leave, and so 

Even though she had to go 
& watching her walk away made 
me wish God would just end me 
Once I regained my sanity 
I remembered there's no way 
She would leave willingly 
So though I do not know when 
I know our stories reconvene 
And that my hope isn't just 
A fool fencing fake gold, but 
Lady luck granting a golden seed