Thoughts after waking up from a 3 month dream | 29 October 2021

The good don’t die young. The best do. Only they can figure it out that quickly. Unfortunately, too many leave before they can share their truth. But then again, maybe their death was the only way to share that truth in the end. A dying plant leaves behind seeds, and then the nutrients they need to grow into something even greater.
A forest is born from the first tree.

One of lying’s greatest tragedies is how much value is stolen from apology and reason. There are so many counterfeits out there, we forget what the truth looks like. But the thing about genuine truth is that we never forget what it feels like, we just rarely get the chance to experience it.
A half truth may keep us going, but the full truth is why we started; and why I know we’ll eventually finish, not in resignation, but in achievement.

“Are you religious?”
It depends on what you mean. I’m searching for God, yes, just not in a church. I don’t think he lives there anymore, but that doesn’t mean the truth never existed.

Often times it’s not that I dislike the aesthetic, but rather what it has become associated with.

“Who am I to decide how the world is meant to look?” is a good question to ask yourself. But I think you ask that question too often. Don’t forget the companion of that question: “who are they to?”

Our brokenness brought us together again, and I think a part of our selves are afraid cleaning up our messes means we’ll have no reason tying us together. We won’t have that baggage blocking the exit anymore, so of course we’re gonna leave. But the thing is, the baggage isn’t what’s keeping me next to you. When we walk through that door, we’ll still be next to each other on the other side.

The new systems and old systems aren’t fully compatible yet. My role is to bridge the gap.

A smart person is able to understand all of the steps individually. Genius is when you put them all together to create something that can never be replicated.

Talent is the skill needed for recreation; the ability to mimic.
Genius, however, is the ability to reinvent the talent in a way never seen before. Anyone with talent can model their work after masterpieces. Maybe even be as good. But no amount of skill can be traded for genius.
A genius has such a fundamental understanding of the universe that they can even create their own.

A start of a chapter titled realizations

“If you the truth, then what the fuck am I?”

Existence makes you an object. Opinion makes you a person. Reason makes you divine.

The only true obligation you have is to your existence. As long as you exist, you’re doing what you’re supposed to. However, be wary of apathy. Because if you let it exist, it’ll take your place.

“My conscious so weak I need to split it up in 7 parts…”

Lying accrues a debt to time. Lying isn’t the problem. It’s not being able to pay off those debts. And if you lie, be aware of the interest. When you borrow $5 from a friend, the interest is appreciation. When you borrow $5000 from the lord, your interest is an obligation towards good. When you borrow $5,000,000,000 from the devil, your interest is your decency, along with all sense of self.
Is life really worth so little to you?

I’ve been given so much time I’ll never be able to repay. But I’m realizing you never intended to get that time back. Why fret about something that you’ll never run out of?
You never needed it back. Even more, you never wanted it back. So why give me time? What do you want, and how could I ever be able to give you something even you can’t make? Does life really hide such a treasure?
Maybe it’s just fun to watch us run in circles. But I think there’s something more invested than just a cheap laugh.

Every story has been told. Eons and eons ago they were. It’s not the process that makes the story interesting; that hasn’t changed since before the birth reality. We know all the recipes by heart. It’s the people that add the spice that makes an old story new.

A lier is someone who is irresponsible with the truth they are given. Whether it’s born from ignorance or selfishness, the truth of the matter is a lier descends from carelessness, naivety, and above all, the absence of respect.

Patience isn’t waiting for something to happen, but rather being ready for whenever something does.

A bad relationship is a hard lesson taught in the worst way. It’s a shortcut of thorns to the truth.

Depression is a little bit like cheese.
Even though its spoiled,
I can’t get enough of it.
It’s not wrong to like the taste of cheese, but don’t forget to eat your veggies,
else you’ll make yourself sick.

Everyone has a weakness. That’s what it means to exist in reality. Because even a god can die when his home catches fire with him inside.

You want to grow up? Learn what it means to give due respect. Respect is not the same as approval. It’s acknowledgement of what it is. Too often we only respect what we want to. Too often we don’t even know why we want to, but that’s because we don’t even want to respect ourselves.

But don’t feel bad about taking out the trash.

“Killshot” by Eminem: a story of why you let sleeping gods lie.

Just because you’re figuring it out quicker than me doesn’t mean you already possess the truth I have to offer. Just because you can figure out the universe by yourself, it doesn’t mean you have to. Even if you’re superhuman and can fly through space, you’ll realize how lonely your new planets are all by yourself.

People seem to think someone else who is smarter, prettier, happier, or something else ending in “-er” could live their life so much better. But the thing is, no one is going to live your life. That’s something you alone can do, and it’s what makes you the perfect candidate for the life you’ve been given.

Just because you have a favorite doesn’t mean the others don’t exist. Don’t forget about the other rooms in the house.

To kill a good captain, you must sink his ship; anyone can get lost at sea, but only good captains choose to go down with their ship.

You’re not the smartest, the strongest, the bravest, the most popular. You’re none of those. But you know what you are? You’re the one that survived, and that’s what makes you the best of them all.

To judge someone’s or something’s value based on an arbitrary preference is foolish. Imagine choosing a red Honda over a blue Ferrari because red is your favorite color. Though important, Aesthetic isn’t everything.

What’s more powerful: love or fear?
That depends; are we dealing with animals or are we dealing with gods? A king of animals knows how to keep them afraid in a cage. But a lord of gods knows only inspiration can move the divine.

If telling the truth burns some bridges, those bridges are better off burned.

Assuming they’re always right is the path to slavery. Assuming you’re never wrong is the path to hell.

When you beat down the other team, and then ridicule their loss, don’t be surprised when they stop following your game’s rules.

A merging of realities, and the absurdity that accompanies the collision.

What point does it serve a robot to watch TV?

“Do you want it all if it’s all mediocre?”

A process: how thoughts create destiny
-Lao tzu

Remember when I said we’re not on the same path, rather parallel ones? I think I know the difference in our paths. You’ve chosen the path of the saint, while I’ve chosen that of the sage. That’s why I’m not worried about losing you again. Because if worst comes to worst and we have to walk alone, our paths lead to the same destination, so we’ll reunite at the finish line.

The best questions don’t have a correct answer, rather many. It’s not about finding the right answer; it’s about avoiding all of the wrong ones.

I’m tired of everyone talking about “the left” or “the right.” I just want to move forward.

“Why do bad things happen?”
Well, that depends on who you ask. There’s an infinite number of correct answers, so it’s up to you to choose which answer is true to you.
If you want my opinion: because it makes for a better story.

Not gonna lie, I kinda hate the part of my brain that refuses to let pedantry go, haha. It’s one of the reasons I’m so precise with my wording, because the pedantic asshole living in my head never forgets to remind me when I’m wrong

Why not trust the world that made you? You’re so strong, but you don’t have to bear this burden alone. Don’t run a marathon every day. Save that energy for when you actually have somewhere to run to.

How many of my children have I abandoned in my ignorance and naivety?


Alucard’s Abandonment

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