Naming ADHD
One of the ways I like to visualize my ADHD is by considering each letter as a different person living inside of my head. And the reason I have so much trouble focusing is because I have four different voices inside that are all talking, oftentimes at the same time. So then, when I ask you to repeat yourself 7 times and still can’t process what you’ve said, it’s because it’s being drowned out by the four other conversations going on in my head.
This is a very abridged summary of my ideas, but I just wanted to give enough context to introduce this set of poems.These following four poems capture the four different voices of ADHD. In addition, I’ve added a song that I believe captures a voice similar to my Poetry to accompany each poem. Hopefully, it provides you with a sound to go with the flow found whenever reading words on the page. I hope they provide a window into an ADHD mind, and it let’s you see why we have such difficulty with focusing.
ADHD-Me
"Good enough" isn't good enough
100% A+ student not even enough
Executive dysfunction N ADHD-Me
Forming imperfect perfection so
Knows attention to every detail
Takes Ü far only if there isn't
A bigger picture 4 Ü & Me 2 see
ADHD Trees (Grade School Plays)
Watching a scene of a play
That looks like my backyard
& enjoying the ambiance 'til
Noticing some slow KID§ Whö B
Given roles as trees - because
They are 2 stupid 4 acting, now
Acting out like loud sounds when
Waving tree branch just a bit too
Much like Ranch dressing distracts
Me from noticing Plot's main themes
329: ADHDTV
I was sitting here watching
A stupid video about
Stupid pop culture
That I've never actually experienced
My favorite
'cause I love shitty pop culture
Both ironically & unironically
Skrek & He-man's "oh my God do I try"
Are two of my absolute favorites
Of ironically good pop culture
That I love unironically
But stepping away from just another ADHD Tangent Verse
& stepping into a different one
I fucking love the star wars prequels
Like of course I like all of star wars
You're lying if say you don't like star wars
Or you're miserable
'cause for some reason this reality loves star wars
But they also love to hate star wars
So maybe miserable people aren't as miserable as I think
Anyways
Back from the tangent of the tangent
of my original point that will probably turn into another tangent
I fucking love shitty pop culture
Shrek, He-man, star wars prequels
Just memes making fun of shitty pop culture in general
'cause if I'm being honest
The best jokes about the best shitty pop culture tropes
Really are the best teachers of Truth
Яüñ∿öñ∿Wör̃Δ§
My hobby would probably be patiently painting poetic particles to posture & pose like passive participles or primary school principals with paradoxical principles placing pages packed with sonic syllables inside §üM∿syllabi pigeonholed of a religion like a prison who made the decision to hold an 8 year old bashful but bold because never considered the weather nor interstellar fortune tellers nor even whether we could ever go home when cursed to be too clever so instead told he was too old so then was sold but never mattered after the mould was destroyed & scattered so to confuse those gangstar goons who exume Phoenix fumes using purple plum plumes plucked from protected Polynesian parrots named Polly or oh-so pompous Pokémon pidgeotto who go "bah-gawk!" while throh & sawk who produce passion fruit juice to infuse with phantasmic phonics fuel & breeder Brock's onyx splooge when pinned in the papacy's preschool playpen where KIDS go for sore rear ends & parental pressure to just pretend those monsters are peak peity when in reality perverted predators worse than redditors who smell like cat piss & turds yet worse being paid to perform Baal's ballpoint pens' patented processes pirated across seven Cs following Frodo figuring the falinks formation öF foreign invasion or maybe a mistranslation of seraphim sensation from fascists fearing ever freeing the creepy Kree only fleeing from any & all feeling like some bum who has become undone like an iridescent resident with the reflection of rent-peasant passing up the present planning to run for president feasting on frosted-flakes from feral ferrets with dandruff & Paired be decadent pheasant tits with unpleasant scents from central air vents lent by Kent meant to be sent to sit on the picket fence found underground like Indian burial mounds of childhood hounds near criminal compound for a thieves guild fence now trying yet cannot commence this cursed course for the cure called recompense for Phoebe be feeling oh-so forlorn from incessant massaging your crusty crotch meat like Arby's as well your other private parts with a cart full of plastic dicks & fists covered in shit & piss while watching way too much high-school hentai like a pervert in disguise or maybe be a brony so beating your sad little sausage to my little pony porn nearly never leaving your college dorm except for locating lotsa lemon-scented lotion because you can't even afford to score a cheap weekday whore at the corner of the superstore after ending her shitty Tuesday noon shift making men stiff performing before she completes their frisky feeling by unsealing the glory at the palace of pussy galore getting you off with just her feet like a lousy loser who looks just like a louse on a mouse as lice give rodents good advice while looking for a noose for personal use then leaving on your iron pony padded with paisley cushions covered with daisies & kush blunt now fondling your constipated caboose so full of shit yet taking your shot before you got what you ought forging forward 'till 'til transitioning toward London's literary library literally linked to Lady Liberty where we located Gigi Philosophy who grew to be Love's liability society trying to defeat Hate like Barbary state armies invading Crete in 1660 while there because they refuse to share with woodland deer nor the cloudberry care bears who stare at stairs leading where waiting be West's East ward patiently waiting near South Sanctuary's North stationary actuary making paper planes for aria's insane aviary calvary cooing while roosting on the 3rd floor where sometimes appears a §trange door with four Orange screws covered in ghostly green goo globbed on like glow in the dark glitter glue gradually glowing a gradient blue like a conspiracy about jews from Q who intend to violate Violet's Vuse violently when Her Ñü∿Muse finally be blowing electric Bic's circuit fuse so can't work it so what's the use when faith failed you forever by failing to help you choose the channel with blues clues & whose form be far from nature's norm because born öDDLY∿Ådorned with drawings of cocks & corn growing after the spiraling storm rotating like rotisserie chicken wings stricken with streams so suddenly surrendering spirals so start subsiding yet when reverting to reverberating with ripples then returning to rising rapidly from the floor fracturing so surprising me now wondering if this be forming from the devil's backdoor carrying a dubious demon core covered in orphan gore like a bull stabbed with a sword by a mediocre matador with a sense of self grandeur yet really just a wannabe conquistador with little more than an arcade's high score but going on like a ringing gong so guessing this must mean that there's definitely gonna be another hell encore & much more in store -wait- luckily it just be Evelyn's ebony elevator with Ivan's ivory skeleton keys you use to select your floor in which you're heading while serenading you & your fiendish friend forever condemned who's nothing but a boorish boar but being such a bore for evermore even if when 6ft under Gaia's forest green floor
[Addendum: This fifth poem best captures what an internal conversation sounds/feels like when all voices are talking over each other]
A Conversation With ADHD
(Painful When My Brain’s Full)
Having become unbound~N~§weet sound
Now no longer limited like collector’s editions
Nor found anywhere near nor around the ground
Cutting ties and so I never have to be tethered again
Blue eyes N§ide skies, floating like feathered friends
Who sing birdsong tunes for all to consume, though
Whispering their secrets into my ears & revealing
To Me, unimpressive pedestrian #3 in this scene
The recipe 4 immortality & conferring keys 2
A lock You will never hear nor see, as I Am
Being a cock tease so end my story abruptly
Leaving you with no closure, losing composure
Coming at Me for exposure like photography yet
Forgetting what the hell were we even talking about
Nor what led to the spout or even where we’re going
Because I have ADHD and if You want to have a real
Conversation with Me, good luck with this fuck up
’cause the mess N Me causes Calamity when trying
2 concentrate on either fulfilling or defying Fate &
At any rate, what’s the point of this date? I guess
It’s kinda become a gate to my garden N my soul
Where I keep hold of ñü∿Truth told 2 Me by Whö
Created not only Me & You, but each & every ØИΣ
öF Ü growing N2 another Whö B able 2 manifest
Not only ñü∿Time & §trange §pace hidden N§ide
öF your face, but also can breathe Life N2 animals &
Other things like rocks & plants, means being capable
Of cultivating their own Eternity Tree, thus creating
A brand ñü∿Reality after realizing Transcendence
Affected his stance & the fact they were now lost
N France with zero chance of ever traveling any
Way other than tangentially leading to infinity
Strands of unfinished stories & so hopefully
Your understanding of exactly why I struggle
Staying on task and finishing anything because
ADHD is a real thing & please let this show all Ü
That I’m not being lazy & understand why it drives
Me 2 N§anity turning Me Crazy while spinning focus
Continuously, so dizzy, nausea & stomach aching yet
No doctor can diagnose Me, my gut problem B
A medical mystery, lucky me, fuck ADHD &
Realize when I have dazed eyes, it’s because
ADHD is painful, truly, like my brain on overdrive
Trying to decide if I want coffee or Chai only to then
Forget what I was doing & just hoping against hope
I’m accomplishing something with this Madman’s
Word vomit, don’t rebuke Me for puking, I guess
Some people never grow up, so may the horse
Be with you, that’s a reference you probably
Won’t get, but I don’t give a shit, I lost my mind
Like 29 lines ago as I continue to throw up words
‘Til there’s nothing left in my brain and I can pretend
To be sane again, if only for this miniscule moment
Just long enough that I at least get to write a thesis
Statement about how messy B my mental state then
Extend the end so I can send it to family & friends
Then recognition this B good timing 2 finally end
♡Sugar☆World☮ 