Golden Seed | 24 January 2023

Trying to describe the difference 
Between a genuine, true Love 
And being N Love with the ONE 
Reminded me of the only Two 
I knew for certain I could marry
Because they taught me Certainty 
When I could see them N Eternity
Like infinity well of infatuation
& though N the moment when my head 
Had been immersed N my thirst 
Like a soft & wet hearse
Brain dead from their ecstasy 
Given some time & space 
I now can see the difference 

For though I had fallen headfirst 
For my first Love sent from above 
I knew deep down I was still naive
& though I hoped for she & me
To become We - if We didn't 
She would be the one to leave 
Given a good enough reasoning 
& 9 months later, it's happening 
& though I told myself maybe 
We would be N a future reality 
It was just a pyrite possibility 

But this second girl caught me 
By surprise - I don't know how 
She made me forget the feeling 
Of fear anytime she was leaving 
Because even though she is my 2nd 
Love - she is the first Person 
To make me believe that She 
will always be there for me 
No matter how many reasons 
I give her to leave, and so 

Even though she had to go & 
Watching her walk away made me 
Wish God would just end me 
Yet, once I regained my sanity 
I remembered there's no way 
She would leave willingly 
So though I do not know when 
I know our stories reconvene 
And that my hope isn't just 
A fool fencing fake gold, but 
Lady luck granting me a golden seed