Second week of November 2021 | 6-15 November 2021 [2Nd Edition]

It’s not just about being happy. It’s about owning that happiness. I may not hold as much happiness as others, but I know that that I gave myself this happiness, and no one can take that away from me.

I’ve opened all of the locks that I can here. Or at least all of the locks that make sense to open from here. It’s time to go out into the would to find new doors to unlock, but right now I’m terrified to walk out of the one I just opened.

I’ve always been strong enough to bear the burden of the loser’s role, but I’m ready to take my spot on on podium now.

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I think I finally finished my work. I searched the cosmos and found my answers, and then I made the new person I am. But now that I’m back on earth, I see the whole world in front of me. And it’s both so exilerating and terrifying. I want to do something great with what I’ve made, but I’m not sure what that will look like. I got so used to floating in space, my legs are shaking under the gravity.

I’m able to understand myself now. I just realize how much of me was made up. There were a lot of blanks that I let others fill in about my life, and now that I’ve gotten rid of everything that wasn’t me, I realize how small of a man I’ve truly been. Small enough to hide behind the cardboard cutout I showed everyone.

I may be slow to wake up, but luckily I get up running.