Disconnected / Plugged⌁N
I’ve been feeling
Rather “Disconnected”
For a majority of my week
Meaning, I’ve felt low_energy
Like a robot, without its battery
Or a desert, run on hydroelectricity
Generated with this, a water wheel Oasis
Which turns out to be a mirage merely
But now feeling Plugged⌁N, finally
Again, so like I Am moonwalking
Away from Anubis & returning
To the Land of the Living
Disconnected Agitation
Disconnected Agitation
Feeling something irksome
Yet too aloof to notice what
So, feeling like an angsty teen
Pissed off at nothing & everything
Adequacy
No longer a robot going one way
I’m feeling like a person today
One that actually feels content
Rather than only making content
Thus, I’m happy being just okay
Detached Contentment
I’ve been feeling kinda öDD lately
Not really doing much but vibing
Sorta like detached contentment
I don’t know if I like it, but
I don’t not like it, at least
Not at the moment, and so
I will keep on coasting
At this snail place
’til ready to run
N another race
Stagnant / Hypocrite Hero
So, lately I have
Been feeling
Stuck
Again, and
Oh~so stagnant
Like still waters
Of a blocked off pond
A breeding ground for pests
Perfect for mosquitos eating Me
While I just lay there and let them
Since there is nothing worth saving
At least, that’s what I believe
Although, only N the moment
Because I know better
How Life’s sacred
At least, I do
If I don’t
Wanna
B another
Hypocrite hero
Life’s A Bitch
She will just not stop
Talking about herself
And all her problems
Constant ailing her
How her OCD’s a bitch
& her schema’s a bitch
& everything else wrong
With life’s also a bitch
Because she said it once
And got a couple of laughs
So feels on top of the world
Saying the same shit over&over
Hyper-Critical
Why have I been acting
So Hyper-Critical to
Everyone around me?
Am I just jealous
They’re all growing
While I’m floundering?
Empathy Or All About Me?
Listening, to everyone else
And thinking they sound like Me
Now worrying I’m being narcissistic
Or maybe, a mental health hypochondriac
When really what is happening to Me
B that I’m experiencing Empathy
So, see Me N§ide everything
Group Therapy Empathy
Group therapy is interesting
When you have Empathy, because
It’s supposed to make you feel
Better, by seeing others
Sharing in your struggle
Yet what ends up happening is
You take on the others’ feelings
So you end up feeling heavier
Your struggling being multiplied
Rather than being carried by Sympathy
Group Therapy Empathy Pt. II
Drowning when N this group therapy
Under empathetic waves of insanity
These crazy people are killing Me
Always talks about the same shit
Over & over & over & over again
Even though the answer’s simple
Just let go of the burning coal
That Ü are holding onto, though
Ü are refusing to admit Ü would
Prefer 2 feel the pain of Panic
Thus, forcing Me and my Empathy
To suffer, since Ü won’t accept
How our Misery is the one place
That Ü know how to live & to be
Butterfly Wings & Jetpacks
For some reason, We, as a Society
Have decided it is “best” for All
To pluck off KID§ butterfly wings
& then give them jetpacks instead
Thinking about speed & efficiency
& not the trauma of having a part
Of your §elf torn from your being
Nor the body horror, when looking
In the mirror but not recognizing
Who -no- what’s seen reflecting Ü
Let alone consider possibility of
Maybe they don’t need the speed &
Want a Life of floating aimlessly
Masking Like Doom
When You have Autism
You learn to survive
By masking your true self
From everyone else, but
Now that Autism is “ok” to have
We’re told it’s “ok” to show
Our true selfs, though
They’re unaware how masking
Is no longer a choice
For all of those like me
Who grew up masking constantly
Because though they were unaware
The cruelty of their stares
Felt like the fires from Hell
Searing our masks to our faces
Meaning taking it off
Means tearing off our face
Like Dr. Doom in Robot Chicken
When asking him why he’s so grouchy
Complicated
Whenever wondering why
Something is so complicated
Know the answer is quite simple
You don’t want to live N the world
Where your Dream can B achieved
By any Joe-Shmo who wants 2
Hook up with your Love
Panic! Attack
!
A
Hot
Needle
Stabbing
Over & over
& over & over &
Over & over & over
& over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
Over & over & over & over & over &
Over & over & over & over & over
& over & over & over & over, again
A Skeleton Without Any Bones
Relationships have ruined me, friends
Merely hearing others talk about them
Be enough to put me in a panic attack
Like I still can’t deal with the fact
That, again, I’ve been left all alone
Like I’m a skeleton without any bones
Boundaries
You don’t owe me an explanation.
I don’t really understand, but
that’s on me.
I’m always here
if you wanna talk, but
I don’t want to go over any
boundaries
so if I never hear back from you
I’ll just have to assume
you have good reason.
So I guess I’ll leave it at that.
I hope to see you around
and hear from you, but
if not, goodbye, my best friend.
You will always have a home in my heart.
Beautiful Depression
During my break from group therapy
I go off into a corner to be alone
Depression is a bitch, as they say
And then, I notice some girls walk
Into my peripheral & begin to talk
“Wow, it’s surprising
that there is so many
attractive people who
have depression; like
there really is alota
beautiful people here.”
I’m the only one nearby, but
I just sit there like a statue
Though not because I’m oblivious
As I normally am, so took the hint
It is just the cruelty of Depression
Even when you know they are interested
Depression keeps you from doing anything
Self-Harm
I heard someone say:
“Addiction is
not a choice, but
their first drink is”
When I was in group therapy
I think: Hypocrisy
For don’t You see
I began drinking
Because of what
Happened to Me
Would You ever claim
To someone cutting
Their red wrists
They had chosen
To self-harm?
Or would Ü recognize with
Empathy’s Ünderstanding
They’re merely trying
To cope with no hope
After being groped?
As that’s what Addiction be
One’s Addiction is Self-Harm
’cause nobody loves substance
Enough to sacrifice their Life
Just enough to end their strife
Addiction Restriction
An addiction is just a restriction
Forged in fires made of friction
From my society by lying to Me
As if telling a blind man to see
Like a condition is one’s decision
Shame Game
Shame is the name for this lame game
The sane play to tame the N§ane
All while they’re pretending this be
For the good of Me, when really
A way to entertain brains who remain
♡Sugar☆World☮ 