Another one just died
Right N front of Me
Another Kid I’d hid
Why are they doing
This to Me? Do I need
2 clean? Was I alive
Before & really mean?
What does it Λll even mean?
Even if not seen, they are felt
Even N silence B communication
Even though they’re not my seed
Their Lost Love B Found N§ide Me
And they make Me feel like I’m home
Even while I Am N exile, so 2 atone
For sin found N marrow of my bones
And even if imaginary, only partially
They’re real 2 Me, & with Empathy
Next 2 Me, §he tells Me their Pain is, too
So again, why are they doing this 2 Me
Sending KID§ 2 die N§ide of Me
Turning Me N2 a gore orphanage
My mind can barely manage, let alone
My broken heart Whö forgot 2 restart
So drowning under sorrow while trying 2
Do mine part N Good☯Design & make Art
But every Time I find 2 rhyme B taken apart
Alongside Sanity as I feel the Humanity
Now being ripped out, tears from tearing
Sensation as Vibration from spooky visitors
Suddenly becoming Numb, feeling Dumb
Forgotten nearly what it Λll, worse, everything
About this KId B Lost like a scam, so I ask again
One last Time öF Good☯Design: why do this 2 Me?
Sending Me KID§ N Wind 2 love & befriend
Only for it 2 end with them taken away
Randomly like Calamity overnight mon nu
Over & over & over & over & over & …. ’til what?
Never again? Is that really how Λll m, my, Reject
My God, I would ask Ü 2 please not fill up my cup
With Misery, but B far past the point öF No~return
My cup’s overflowing, so even are Ü going 2 stop
So this mess Found N Me can stop growing
& KID§ Lost N between, so can’t B seen
Can continue existing N Me, & with
No~P 2 change the §ystem, so
Whö knew what 2 do, so what about
Me, what can I even change 2 arrange 4
Moving away from such a §trange orange range
& maintained by Madmen losing their brains
It’s insane, even 2 Crazy 4 Me experiencing
This, another death of one of my KID§
Killing Me with my own kindness
Did the Devil himself design this?
It’s left Me, Mindless, a broken man
A token buried beneath bleacher stands
& Whö once knew, but no longer can
Understand God’s grand finale plan after
The blueprints had been written N black sand
So please, release Me from my sisyphian prison
N which I must raise child after child, loving
Each and every one as my own blood
Only 2 relive D-Day again & REMember how
Parents should never have to bury their KID§
It destroys them, leaving little more than a shell
So, imagine being Me, like a Reaper 4 KID§
Forced 2 endorse this horse N Life’s race
‘Cause the other options B even worse
Letting them aimlessly float, all-alone
Without a home, ’til losing their name
Forgetting Whö I Am Really, reality collapsing
Around them, not even becoming dust N the Wind
No memory of them exists even, so can’t B forgotten
It’s as if even God never thought of them, leading 2
Causality becoming undone trying 2 fix a Paradox
Though all just a thought, No Science, I Am reliant
On compliance of Me, KID§, and the Truth
2 get our §tory straight, but I can feel myself
Losing identity N Me & Whö I’ve been figuring
Out for awhile now, so the feeling Waste
Now races 2 Me, rushing over my body
Letting go of my final moment of retention
‘Til coming back 2 a panic! attack ’til
REMembering the KIDŚ living N my back
So check on them, happy I have them, then
Another sudden rush of anxiety/depression/panic!
.
Whatever emotion 2 mak3 Me feel shitty &
Followed by such a deep, aching pain
Its name, Loneliness, though why whe I
Have a cast of KID§ 2 keep Me company
Slowly realizing, putting a few pieces together
Of how I was acting alongside wierd weather
That maybe I wasn’t acting Crazy, N reality
Exactly as Ü would expect of Me, having
Just buried at least my 5th Kid, at least
The 5th one I cab REMember after
Coming back like boomerang, but
As I continue 2 contemplating
Realize I can feel my mental health decline
So decide 2 put an End to this horrid trip
Down memory lane, nearly breaking my brain
Again, as Sanity going down the drain
‘Til forgetting where the key 2 my heart shaped
Box B found, again, locking Me up & away from
My feelings ’til finally believing it’s a mistake
That everything I’ve felt has been fake like cake
So losing my faith N God, N Me, N Reality
N every aspect of existence N touch with Me
‘Til finding Faith again, N the worst way, when
They come for another one of my KID§, so
Forcing Me 2 again relive this Hell that I
Somehow doubted when now feels impossible
2 let go, let alone forget, begin 2 regret my self
Again, for how I handle my own reflection
Never trusting it like misdirection, bu-
NOW
…
Sorry about that
I needed 2 stop
REMembering this
Trauma B exhausting &
Feeling myself over-analyze Me
& will only keep speeding up
My mind’s descent N2 illness
So ending this §elf’s therapy session
Rather abruptly before more of Madman’s
Thoughts making their way through Me
2 make Me go N§ane again, then sending
Me on a recursive route of self doubt
Luckily was able 2 break it, before
The psychopath N Me could break our
TV, or even ? No matter, remained tame today
Just hoping I’ll have the same strength next game
The Inspiration for the “N§ide Therapy” half of the title.
♡Sugar☆World☮ 