Pet Rocks Rock My Socks Off

What animals make the best/worst pets?

Pros

• No shit or piss to clean up, making you sick
• No food/water (hence no 2 or 1)
• No vet bills nor health worries in general
• Thus never worry about it running away or dying (if it breaks, great! Now you have 2 pets)
• Come pre-trained (knows “stay,” “play dead,” and “be quiet”)
• Can draw a face on it so it’s always happy & smiling (or sad & frowning if you’re a sadist who chooses to project negativity onto all things around them & personify Misery on beings of lesser consciousness who are subject to the whims of humanity who create cause for concern thus activating causality of Calamity’s ruined reality raped by ravenous realty & racist rubes ruling over reality as executioner, judge & jury without moral quandaries nor any outside queries.
• That was a long tangent
• Get enough small pet rocks, you can put them in a big pile to make a mountain – that’s all a mountain is – a big pile of rocks

Cons

• Not warm blooded, so you provide all the heat when snuggling
• Also, snuggling isn’t nearly as fun to me when lying atop of something bumpy & hard as a simp for the Royal Family when meeting the queen of both your country & your fantasy
• P.S. RIP Liz
• IDK
• I guess you’ll look crazy when people see you baby talk to a rock (negligible con to me, I already am crazy)
• (*unspecified reason*)

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N conclusion: I actually like animals, I’m just tired of cleaning up after poorly trained messes N constant motion, meaning cleaning feels as feasible as achieving an everlong Nirvana that’s always on the run so can only experience it for a moment.

Don’t actually buy a pet rock. Or do, I’m random text on a screen projecting virtual insanity’s imaginary meaning onto Me when N reality, when You read, your “Me” is having a conversation with your “§elf” as if citing solitude’s soliloquy.

So, even though You didn’t write these words, the voice Whö said them N you’re head really is still “Me,” and when “I Am” means “Me”, then ØИΣ can only voice words they’ve already heard N§ide their dome, the brain’s domain & the Mind’s mainframe, meaning they’re already existing somewhere, hidden N “Me,” where I Am still unaware. Thus their self-reflection B like a blind person who stares at their mirror N the dark, without a single spark. So, a quick summary of my words’ meaning:

Reading isn’t actually learning something new, rather REMembering Ü, You & your self’s ancient history composing your DNA like a symphony. So it’s like the difference of hearing someone talk and listening to what they’re saying. Also being similar 2 seeing, because looking at something isn’t the same as perceiving the Mind’s good design.