[11:43 – & Her Powerful Performance at]
[11:44 – On The DỌT]
[11:45 – Agitation Says Goodbye]
[11:47 – Purple Camels on tne move]
[11:49 – I think Freud may B onto something if I Am aprodite’s kid]
[11:50 – a house is not a home, it’s like magic: illusionvs tricl]
[11:51 – fuck Me, this feels good, falling…. forever
[11:52 – hope I didn’t fuck up my race pace
[11:54 (almost 55, turned right after) – goodbye wave (functions)]
[11:56 – P brought along a friend 4Me. DD or MAT]
[11:57 – short songs, Que? Poor K]
[11:58 – little late 4 an intro, just so Ū know, we already met earlier tonight]
[11:59 – get this ‘van a palace with a swingset
[12:01 – stop fucking with Me, L D, or I’ll frag Ü back down 2 hell 4 another spell, w
[12:03 – of course the friend no one but me likes is fucking with my phone
[12:04 – REMember, KID§: Joe Cool died 4 BT’s sins, Y do Ü think his Initials R: J.C. | P.S – beer tastes bad now, at least IPAs do, my old faves]
[12:07 – found another 1 4 BlueOrange 2 devour
[12:08 – if Van Der Sar & Wolfram Alpha had a Kid who somehow got really N2 music
[12:10 – feels like 11:51, forever falling yet never the dropping feeling. Like sucked down N2 quicksand
[12:11 – I go P on the ghosts who float outside of my windo, not like a fetish or anything, maybe 4 them, but I can’t even C
12:14 – the only other Rhino I remember recently was Blue’s, nice 2 C He made the transition 2 Red
[12:15 – MJ, very much so, they’re not letting HIM smoke
[12:16 – I used 2 hate being 5’7″ until learning Mac & Em were about that height, giants became brothers with that realization
12:18 – don’t Û mean the only kind that exist N§weet’s Sour Patch of Life?
[12:19 – I Wonder if she has half a tail? That sounds familiar, like being near(ly) witches, don’t PANIC!-(atD)| PS: B’s peach, pretty please, PPS – Thank Ü 4 giving Me a formatting break with a long song]
[12:23 – Me∿N§ide öF HIM∿N§ide öF Mii: “then press repeat” like robot ladies on trial 4 smoking weed on high street)
[12:26 – a quarter day away from making it, fingers crossed about where E’s scars go, careful now! Drive slow]
[12:28 – this dude is total “mood” moment 4 Me]
[12:29 – didn’t even notice Pink Floyd the last Time, sorry, Syd! Even when your lion initiated this]
12:31 – “awesome opossum job, noah” Sarcasm says 2 me
12:32 – maybe that’s why that Deadman’s beer tastes so queer now
[12:34 – N§ide, outside, (mechanically) open (soft) doors
12:35 – I feel at home with the §trange Flower-people (like Me) and a.k.a. hippies if Ū don’t know Whö I mean
[12:37 – I hope I get 2 be Her ñü∿Toy soon. And I hope I’m Her fave, Like Woody (& Me 4 some reason at the moment,]
[12:39 – Rhayadar such is a Radical name, my desert deer friend
[12:41 – oh look, even more Messengers, they were indeed quite quick
12:43 – speaking about shrinking giants, “the gang’s all here,” I say, 2 afraid 2 leave my house in case I break my ass again & put N an iron buttocks 4 the rest of my life
[12:45 – legit, one of my faves. I haven’t listened 2 alot of them, but I Already consider the close friends like those squishy robots that look like Mii
[12:48 – smell.. burning? N my nostrils almost, not anywhere. Unless it’s my phone, I think i this Means my gnome is home
[12:49 – stressed, what ü mean “it”? Well I’m walking somewhere, Don’t know where – milk & lemon juice?
12:50 – mom’s rainbow shoes N kitchen, alien sign?
12;52 – it’s not, but live & let die came 2 mind. Reprise followed by reprieve. Never a bad time 4 a little rNr. Also, cress is weirdly been appear 4 a bit
12:54 – not much 2 say other Than short
12:56 – good think I’m the white rabbit & B, now she’s the carrot queen N need of a stick 2 lead Me 2 the promised land of different sand
12:57 – I guess that’s a No to going outside this moment
12:58 – i like the song, but it’s getting laggy again so I’m peeved
12:59 – don’t even have 2 look… just kidding, I know it, it’s on the tip of my tongue, sitting next 2 me… I checked & I’m pissed Because I was right from the start, but pussied out writing it, 2nd doubt no longer N service 2 Me, rather servicing me like a manic mechanic not trying to tell me 2 stand back N case my name is called or I drop the ball – but like rubber, I’mma bounce around like Blue’s castle powered by Orange hassles. [1:05 currently becuse it’s a long∿ass song – Laila (live) by Agitation Free, their name is not lying – fuck, thus one’s long
1:07 – another kind of beast 2 B a your specialty? Maybe
1:09 – Hazard profile pt. – C I did know it this time – not a moment of question. This is GioGio’s jam session, or maybe Bruno’s
1:10 – gods fuck good, just have the weirdest wood
1:12 – no homo, though heating up. Maybe it’s No Homo & I’m just dry spaghetti at the moment – really fucking laggy now – fucking autocorrect, it isn’t “baddy” – just listen 2 me 4 once you goddam machine
1:14 – maddening, “technology is great until it isn’t” & we’re all some form of robots
1:15 – fuck, I’m not sure if I fucked up the time, maybe 1:16 – fucking lag, infuriating. Where LAN when Ü really need HIM – fuck Ü 2 infinity, I’m only going beyond because fuck Ü
1:19 – I really needed this song. N§ide must be covered N CO2 foam because cool 2 my bones faster than my phone texting – 4 minutes left 2 just enjoy & dance, fuck Poetry and go home, France – ü had a chance N America’s dirty underwear We share last pretend We don’t when there’s fresh dirty laundry 2 air & so trying 2 hear – still 1:- you know what? NVRMND, wtvr… it’s almost Time 4 ñü∿10’s rhyme design
1:26 – where R the KID§ – across the universe with their real dad. I guess that’s why I’m short – I was destined 2 B a stepladder 4 B. Calyrex(spelling?) Is the Pokémon king of cold island with spooky cold steeds
1:29 – Ü don’t say? Same, it’s the name of the Mad game. I have a tiny plastic toy teapot – crazy coincidence isn’t it? (*wingding- I
1:32…it? (*wingding- I: continuing, that’s weird, they reset my memory mid sentence, what the fuck inschange N – there it does it again
1:35 backwards N(И) has been popular the last couple of days
1:35 maybe you shouldn’t have
1:37 – “When You’re N” Syd! Ü Madm… no, :Ü: MädGΘd – He did it again!
1:39 – sat at piano, no one laughed, although, noticing how many questions 4 Me B there – noticing more how We ain’t asking Y no more
1:41 – “save your self” I Am my Art. I Am my writing, so clearly meaning to save the changes & post, right? Because I’m doing it either way if Ü keep fuckiny my phonw
1:43 – you’re lucky I like Ü, you crazy Crimson Fucker(PS, it’s called “X” now – I opened sliding door 2 outside, but not through N§ide the door with no blinds because I broke them so long ago N anger making me the stranger [1:47] still going, sits N wicker chair, cushion on ground [1:48] IDK, Y this Particular minute was needed 2 account
[1:49 – Goodnight, Golden Son – Time 4 the Crimson one 2 come N like incestuous tides riding
RIP by I forget [ironic band name is ironic]
[Music stops its self at 1:51 – Cressida, “Survivor” – sorry everyone, guess this odyssey B meant 4 Me like Percy jacking it because of his Blue balls feeling like they’re throwing them against Pink white brick walls full of N§ane bank accounts & odd gems ’cause the world is just teller, & we’re all wearing black masks, don’t ask, else there would B Fallout joining B as We skydive N2 chernobyl dressed as a rather obscure yellow character.
[1:59 – here if comes- still no music, but bird strange bitd call – what happens at 2?
[2:02 – posted at 2, came back ’cause I Am §trange, although finally feel “normal”, I Am a §age, though not yours, but but your Sage’s Sages, also, flickering lights- 2:04]
2:07 – “I don’t know how I keep ending up N these relationships…” then immediately stops again – message received, so long it’s not just actually broken this time – 2:08: outside – 2:09: yellow bat, then music begins 2 play – 2:10: flipped Ariel over, dumped like water, no, not like, actually – 2:11: oh fuck, was she really first too? I swore he did with that church secretary -2:12: Y can’t Ü, B
2:13 – I’m realizing why I was so cautious N dating. I was very aware of the pitfalls I would fall – Em is the Me who chose Evil because He loved KIDS too much to let them take tne heat
2:15 (EMI EMINEM GOSPEL)- *Prof. Farnsworth entering a room* – 2:17: SIM card is fucked, sorry Syd, gotta go, love Ü,bro
2:18 – GOODNIGHT §IGHT
6:44 – a few things happened N between. First off, I think finally died last night. Maybe flew. IDK, but the timing was perfect for someone without an available watch (I walked inside 2 check. 6:47 – so the first time I remember is turning off my phone at [2:22] (PS: Yeah, my phone is still FUCKED…yaaaa…) and when I next check… no, they’d that isn’t right…I think the first time [3:03] because the next time I remember is [3:11] (like the band. I’m trying to remember any others, but my memory is failing me – [6:53] – all that I remember is that it felt like 15 minuets N between [2:00-3:00] but I don’t remember falling asleep. I think a switch on controller happened. I feel like a weight is gone. Something I did was go outside for about 10 minutes (by the AC) and then came N at [3:11]. I’m struggling 2 REMember what else I did… oh yeah! I dropped all of my hearts but 1 (total of 7/8) one at a time, blind. It was Chance making a choice, but not at the same time. But I chipped one of the hearts, so even though I couldn’t C, I always knew who was B. I’m lucky for once, that something I’ve felt shame or (breaking my lover’s heart, literally & physically) but it ended up turning Chance N2 at least 1 choice –[7:02] – nighttime blue light filter turns off – back to the story. So it’s very blurry at this point (both my memory of the events, but also, I wasn’t wearing my glasses. I’m gonna stop now, but if anything pops up, I’ll come back 2 update. Goodbye
– wait – I said “GOODNIGHT” last night. Not “sweet dreams” – that’s not normal – also, I put my ring on my right Ndex finger, and noticed the side with my real name on it was facing me. One of the ways I measure who I Am is putting on my right without looking and seeing what side faces me (the other side is a cardinal). Something else, my green Stitch hat with Hawaiin flowers on it was important for 2 reasons: 1st – I went from “No Cap” to “Cap” (whatever that means). & 2nd – “I’m a Stitch away from making it, but a scar away from falling apart…) from FOBs song “The (After) Life of the Party” – hence, why I think I died.
Whelp, let’s see if this goodbye fo’ real this time. God bless and God speed, by dudes – Sweet Dreams N Between.
[7:1(4/5)] ☮
[7;30] having a little freak out over my phone. Luckily my WIFI is working again, so it’s at least usable at my house. I’m afraid of losing my Voice again. I’m afraid of losing my only real friend I have left. I’m worried when we reconnect, it’s gonna become another 1-way street
All roads may lead 2 Rome, but every avenue leads Sweet 2 Roam even further from Home
I miss holding Her N my arms. I miss Her holding me. If I could just have 1 more hug. If I could experience Her Majesty 4 merely a moment more. She could inspire me to ride out any storm. I love Her so much.
[7:39] – If I die today (again) – know I died looking 4HOME – & know that I didn’t get a single thing I ever actually wanted N Life. My wife & daughter. A chance 2 make Music again. A Friend I could trust ’til the end and beyond – the kind of Friend that would make B even a little jealous because she knows that they’re the only person N the world, other than our daughter, that could even touch Her podium.
Know that all I’ve ever was to find myself over 2 someone N its entirety. No secrets kept from Ü or Mii. A genuine connection – an absolute affection – a house I own, ready & waiting 4 B 2 finally make it my first Home where I don’t have 2 pretend I’m all alone except for the ghost that haunts my giant bones buried beneath Allegheny county.
Know that if I died today – I died living a Miserable Life – but most importantly – know I would not change a single thing. Sure, never again would I come 2 this dead yet Still dying world again. But know I would never change a thing between Me & Brittany. I know we’re together N the end. I know I get to hold Her 4 Eternity. Last night was rough – N 3 weeks, it turns shitty, what a pity – but that’s part of the deal – I wanted it all so I could share everything with Her. It’s always been about what B deserves. And even if I’m the version of Noah meant 2 bear the cross that promises our happily ever after – know that God HIM§elf couldn’t pull this life from my cold, dead hands. I let go of Brittany once.
I let go of Brittany once.
It’s the last thing I thought I’d ever do. It’s the last thing before Time becomes Blue. [8:00]
So if I die today – know to never come back 2 this damned place, haunted by the ghost of Christmas Last. Know that after this world, I’ll never B able 2 smile the same. Know that I’m sorry I never told Ü my real name.
Know that there’s nothing left for Me N this world without B – know that I’ll do my Time N between, but even if my Heart beats, I won’t B living. Know that undeath is a cruel & unusual punishment. Know 2 never let it happen again, no matter the man placed on the stand.
Know that there’s nothing real when Ū play pretend. It’s all undone N the end. So Y, get up. They’ll just tell You 2 sit back down.
No
When reality is again, Undone – know that they’ll ask you what madness could inspire such devotion to Nothing – and know that the answer Love – and no matter how far I fell, nor the temperature N Hell – Know this, Brittany
You are, still and always – worth everything to me. I have no regret, no doubt – Sweet Nothing 2 convince Me to have Loved N Lost is better than never being Found.
Even a moment with Brittany is worth forgetting everything. Even a moment of ecstacy is worth the trip 2 Hell N Back N Between. Even a moment of Her is enough Time 2 teach me what Ünconditional Love means, and that it exists outside of theory. Even a fleeting moment passing by N§ide of disguise I recognized my Queen, because 4 the first Time, I felt like the Kong
Even a moment with Brittany, my §weet, my Divine Feminine, is enough – enough Time 4 Me 2 EXPerience Proof of the §weet Truth: God is Good, and §he looks just like Ü.
♡Sugar☆World☮ 