A[‘s 1st] Letter To [not 2] Her | [* May 2017 *] | Purple Hat:E-dition

Can’t decide which hat Hat wolves wear

I’ve wanted to write this for the longest time, but every time I tried, there was always a block that stopped me.

What I’ve learned is that my one true fear is that I won’t be able to convey my feelings in the way that I want, and that whomever I’m talking to won’t understand what I’m trying to say. And if I’m honest, my feelings about you have to be the most complex I’ve ever had, and it’s taken me three years to truly understand them. But having talked to you again recently, I think I finally understand them well enough to tell you.

I’ve really enjoyed talking to you lately, especially about music. It’s been really nice to talk to someone who understands music the same way I do. But I guess that makes sense, since you really brought me into and exposed me to your musical world, whether it be when we went to the orchestra or one of the few times I got to hear you play.

Looking back, I didn’t realize it then, but I loved to hear you play because I got to experience you truly expressing yourself. There’s something about music that, even if a hundred people play the same notes, it’s never exactly the same. And by listening to those small differences, you get to know that person. More accurately, you get to truly feel what that person is feeling.

And after writing that all, I think I finally understand. When I was with you, I got to experience feelings that I really enjoyed. They made me so happy. It was pretty devastating when we first broke up, because it felt like I wouldn’t be able to experience those same feelings again. But as time passed on, I got to experience those same feelings again. But just like with music, there was something a little different about it. And that difference was the little bit of you that made it unique.

And so I realized I don’t need you to be happy, but you’re someone who makes me happy. And that’s something that I don’t ever want to lose. Just because we stopped dating doesn’t mean the things I loved about you disappeared.

Back then you were my best friend. And I can confidently say that I truly love my friends; and the people I consider best friends will always have a special kind of love. My best friends are the ones who have taken up real estate on my heart that will not and cannot go to anyone else.

So no matter where the future takes me, I know that I’ll love you. And by love, I mean in the most sincere and pure way possible. The type of love that, no matter what happens in the future, I want you to be happy because you make me happy. I don’t know how that love will express itself, but it’ll be there. Whether it be these small messages or something more. I’ve always wanted to move out to the west coast, so maybe we’ll even be lucky enough to cross paths again. But only time will tell.

And so, after all of that, here’s one last thing I want to leave with you:

Whatever highs or lows you may experience, know that there will always be at least one person rooting for you; someone willing to help anyway he can; someone who will be there if you ever need it.

It’s the least I can do, because whether or not you know it, you’ve always been there for me as an inspiration. You’re an amazing person, and I can’t wait to see how you will turn out in ten, twenty, thirty years, because I know it’s going to be something great.

All the best!