She and I v1.1
The ghost of her love haunting my dreams
She moved on |so| why can’t I.
She was my immaculate |&| I knew love at first sight
.
Time stopped when I saw her;
She became my world for that moment
She brought color to my eyes |&| I knew true beauty
.
Her radiating beauty illuminated my life;
The world was brighter around her
She was my breath |&| I never realized I was suffocating
.
Beauty the source an infinite well of inspiration;
So overflowing that I forgot where to find my own
But her beauty was only a guest in my life;
Her chapter was coming to a close, but I refused to turn the page.
I didn’t care for a life story than didn’t involve her
I wasn’t ready.. No;
I wasn’t brave enough.
I no longer has direction
I had lost my only certainty
Her radiant beauty no longer illuminated my life
My world left in shadow
Uncertainty became reality
I could only trust loneliness
My breath disappeared with her;
The beautiful world slowly turned gray.
So sudden the change;
So overwhelming the loss
An abyss swallowed my inspiration;
Only nothingness to fill the void
Suffocating!
How can nothing be so heavy?
The crushing weight of the abyss,
There was more than nothingness in the abyss;
The abyss began as darkness – a void of nothingness;
Lonliness born from the void, hidden in the darkness of the abyss;
I felt it – I knew I wasn’t empty;
But I ignored it, hiding behind a lie;
“It’s nothing.”
My emptiness and misery turned into coward’s way to hide from the world
hidden in the darkest depths
An incredible loneliness was born
But the void, it became a hiding place
I now relied on the darkness of the abyss;
Until I filled it with my misery.
I refused to face my responsibilities,
So I hid them where I would never find them.
Lies darken the abyss, so they hid my misery
Hidden deep in the darkness of the abyss,
An incredible loneliness was born.
I knew it was there, but I ignored it;
I hid in the comfort of lies;
If I told myself I felt nothing, I had nothing to address.
“She may be gone now, but not forever” |&| “I will be ready when our lives next cross”
I tried holding onto her by holding onto these lies;
All I was holding onto was the ghost of her love.
It ruled my day
It haunted my dreamsl
It tortured my soul
And it was my greatest treasure
The ghost of her love may have been killing me,
But it was the last bit of her I had
If it was killing?
Good;
When living in the abyss of hopelessness,
An early death is a reward
No longer haunted by Her ghost;
Her ghost haunted the emptiness
“
I could only hold onto Her through lies;
She has changed |&| so have I;
It would be fun to try again,
If only to meet the new people we’ve become
.
She doesn’t want that right now |&| I don’t need that right now;
.
Maybe she never will;
Maybe I’ll never know.
She and I v2
She was immaculate |&| I was frozen;
.
Time stopped when I saw her;
The world around me faded;
She was my reality, because only she existed
She was my breath |&| I filled my lungs with her inspiration.
.
The world was brighter around her
Her radiating beauty illuminated my life;
She brought color to my eyes;
But then
She was only to be a guest in my life |&| I was only meant borrow her love;
.
Her chapter was soon closing, but I wasn’t turning the page;
I found no meaning outside of her beauty;
A life story that didn’t involve her was not with writing;
She never stopped moving,
Always in her pursuit of her passion;
I no longer had direction – no destination
I wasn’t ready.. No;
I wasn’t brave enough.
I didn’t move forward out of fear
I had lost my only certainty
Her radiant beauty no longer illuminated my life
My world now left in shadow
Uncertainty became reality
I could only trust loneliness
My breath disappeared with her;
The beautiful world slowly turned gray.
So sudden the change;
So overwhelming the loss
An abyss swallowed my inspiration;
Only nothingness to fill the void
Suffocating!
How can nothing be so heavy?
The crushing weight of the abyss,
There was more than nothingness in the abyss;
The abyss began as darkness – a void of nothingness;
Lonliness born from the void, hidden in the darkness of the abyss;
I felt it – I knew I wasn’t empty;
But I ignored it, hiding behind a lie;
“It’s nothing.”
My emptiness and misery turned into coward’s way to hide from the world
hidden in the darkest depths
An incredible loneliness was born
But the void, it became a hiding place
I now relied on the darkness of the abyss;
Until I filled it with my misery.
I refused to face my responsibilities,
So I hid them where I would never find them.
Lies darken the abyss, so they hid my misery
Hidden deep in the darkness of the abyss,
An incredible loneliness was born.
I knew it was there, but I ignored it;
I hid in the comfort of lies;
If I told myself I felt nothing, I had nothing to address.
“She may be gone now, but not forever” |&| “I will be ready when our lives next cross”
I tried holding onto her by holding onto these lies;
All I was holding onto was the ghost of her love.
It ruled my day
It haunted my dreamsl
It tortured my soul
And it was my greatest treasure
The ghost of her love may have been killing me,
But it was the last bit of her I had
If it was killing?
Good;
When living in the abyss of hopelessness,
An early death is a reward
No longer haunted by Her ghost;
Her ghost haunted the emptiness
“
I could only hold onto Her through lies;
She has changed |&| so have I;
It would be fun to try again,
If only to meet the new people we’ve become
.
She doesn’t want that right now |&| I don’t need that right now;
.
Maybe she never will;
Maybe I’ll never know.
She and I v3
I was blindsided by reality
Our lives collided, and we She was a guest in my life, sharing love while sharing our time;
Time ran out, so to the love, so did I thought was mine
I don’t believe we ran out of love to share;
Our lives didn’t consider love when they decided our time was over.
“She isn’t out of reach” & “I can make myself into someone she can loves”
.
These were my favorite lies to myself – trying to hold onto her by holding onto them;
But lies are nothing more than a broken promise of a life that was never mine;
I lies weren’t holding onto hope for her love – only the ghost of her love;
Lies cannot bring back her love, only conjure the ghost of her love.
The ghost of love may resemble the love you remember, but it no longer inspires – it only terrorizes.
It possesses you while awake;
Your actions are stolen.
It haunts your dreams;
Freedom becoming your prison
She was only to be a guest in my life & I was only meant to borrow her love;
.
She never stopped moving – passion driving her farther;
;
I no longer had direction – no destination
Her radiant beauty no longer illuminated my life
She was only to be a guest in my life;
A love loaned, not given;
She faced the abyss left by love & I hid myself – a cowering child afraid of the dark.
.
Although it was her choice, Her love was not a lie
She lost love, even if it was her choice to lose it;
She felt that emptiness – love’s parting gift;
It could have been maturity, determination, or maybe even experience;
She fearlessly walked past the same chains of fear and despair that imprisoned me.
She continued to move forward, pursuing her passions |&| I continued to hide, doing little more than treading water
.
She was so far away now – she was out of reach
I finally accepted the truth that I feared most: she has always been out of reach.
She moves forward and doesn’t look back;
I stood still while she moved
How could I reach her when she could never see me.
She was finally so far ahead that I finally accepted my life probably wouldn’t include her
But I also realized that if by fate changed its mind, the only way I had any chance was to improve and move forward in my life, heading towards somewhere beyond her;
She could no longer be my goal, for even if I reached her, and would not stop to turn around.
I have to aim beyond her to have a chance with her.
Years pass
She was far, but I could still reach her;
Passing years changed the world, but they had barely touched me;
I stayed in the same place, and I realized I was how far the distance had grown
♡Sugar☆World☮ 