Her +Magnetic∞Eyes- & Dynamite🌟§mile
One of those strange conversations that happened by “Accident.” Like a wrong number who was calling someone with the same name. There’s not a lot I can add to what’s there. She came in, we had a conversation. She became my reminder of Iceland & Northern Lights. Like how Carter reminds me of “Texture.”
Haven’t heard from her since them. And there’s this unspoken rule I’m not supposed 2 acknowledge, but I’m not allowed to reach our 2 them. I’m not lazy. I didn’t forget. That’s just how it is when you’re like Me.
Though back 2 why this came up. Aurora lights popped up in my news feed, so that meant her 4 some reason outside me saying go do the thing, but giving me Nø Reason y.
https://phys.org/news/2024-07-auroras-earth-magnetic-field-critical.html
Her +Magnetic∞Eyes- & Dynamite🌟§mile
DOTDM / STM!;HBQ / R*aWºMªИ
Just got reminded of another girl JC. They felt quite similar. Completely different people & experiences, but both felt kind N Conversation. They weren’t just B’И nice 2 lend an ear while half-aware. They felt so much more genuine. Rarely do I feel calmed by talking 2 someone not locked N§ide my mirror so that I don’t have 2 Fear.
They REMinded Me öF Brittany. The girl I fell oh~so Hard 4, head over heels – convinced me 2 let Jesus take the wheel. Because when I talked 2 Her about things that sound absurd. It never felt like she was just waiting ’til she Found her Sweet Escape from Me like most girls who came over & humored that “Weirdo who looked cute from afar, but something about HiM, tells me I’m better off if I choose the Bear over HiM.” Sure, that “what-if” didn’t exist back than. But I knew something about it felt so familiar. How I understand girls are scared they’ll B raped by a man, so it’s fair 2 say they’d rather the death than risk a walk with boys they treat like to toys when they make us their whipping boys. Then laugh at men crying about their soft egos that don’t understand the struggle of a woman.
Because that’s convenient 4 them.
They never considered how much the majority of men just want to marry their best friend & keep her safe with him. And what their callous remarks about all men being dogs that are rapists first, until trained 2 behave like gentlemen. How when a sweet young boy didn’t even like male friends, because girls have always been his alpha & omega. That when he’s told just existing brings distress 2 them. While they’re out there dancing to all the single ladies like a victory lap after dunking on men who catcall their rear ends. The sweet boy believes what his goddess tells him. That you’re a beast destined 2 hurt Her. So sacrifices his one wish, because good men don’t care about suffering. If I’m born a criminal ’cause of my gender, then – if it means making her life better outside. I’ll act like the Beast those Belles’ claim I Am, and lock myself away, waiting 4 my rose 2 wilt. Hoping it comes soon, ’cause I want 2 B Late. They didn’t have 2 ask. Y would I ever debate with Heaven’s Gate?
Because a Good Man believes his Devine Feminine. And makes sure that though his face scares her, devoted his life to them. A man can risk it all & be alright ’cause we’re not just pigs who catcall objectified sex dolls. We take responsibility. We listen to every little thing. Then bend our lifes around never again being another inevitable “Kim” ’cause you’re convinced now, “I Am Slim.” So never once approach them. Don’t even compliment those cute shoes, even if genuine & as a friend, because what if they think I’m just trying 2 fuck them? Like, I do want to, but I never cared about my wants. So I remain silent. They drop hints, but what if I’m wrong? They say there’s no blurred lines – and I Am the child of Violence. So even when she slaps my ass & giggles as she runs back to her friends at a house party – just Pretend you didn’t notice – focus on beer pong. Because clearly they’ve had a few. And REMember: No blurred lines, right? So then they go home & cry to their friends. About how those dream boys never want to be more than friends. How we can’t take hints, when their hints look just like politeness when trying to get away from an uncomfortable situation. Yeah, that must be it. They’ve been bumping into me all party. I must be ruining the night for them. I guess I’ll just go home and masturbate with my tears again. Even use my left hand, because I don’t deserve to use the my good hand to satisfy that monster obsessed with sex, so it’s his fault we’re N this mess. I’d won’t even call that girl who used me like her wallet for 2 weeks before finding someone rich 2 hitch, not even she will here me tell “dumb bitch” when my friends Who are also girls, not my girlfriends. All call Her cunt when I explain it to them. That’s OK, it’s their word. A monster had no right to address his goddess other than the beyond best. So yeah – now not even looking at girls if the chances I get all end up with me crying myself to sleep because every shot is better off a miss. I don’t deserve my wish. What if I’d let myself express my anger of treatment that’s unfair – God is Fair, Sexy Nasty – she doesn’t need me. So the only 1 I can blame is “Me.” And even though I haven’t even touched a girl N a decade, feel like I’m responsible for every story about rape that I see. ‘Cause I’m a Monster. That’s why they want the bear. I’m a Monster, so Her murder will eventually find its way through my hands. I really do want to be a good man, if only to prove to them that they can trust men. Not because I wanna bust, so pretending to love until I satisfy Lust. I already accepted I’m destined to die alone. I just want them to feel like those girls in romantic comedies that I pretended not to like, when 50 “Little Nicky’ & “how to lose a gut N 10 days” were my absolute faves as kid. Love has Always been my wish. I think boys are stupid for wanting to fuck every bitch like scratching an itch on their dicks. Don’t they C the blessing you receive when you devote your entirety to your queen? I’d fantasize about going down on Her. I’m just a sex Fiend by definition, so I know I’ll get off. So my favorite parts were always when I could hear Her Ecstasy, and knowing that it was because of Me – that’s living my sweet dream. Finally I was useful to my Love I’ve always known, nothing comes above. That I wasn’t hurting her. Getting to make her sqirt on my shirt. I don’t really like sweet food, so she was Sweet’s only dessert. But all of that is fantasy – REMember? My Sweet Dream can’t ever B real, because no matter how much I love her, I’m still that monster I was told was born because of my Y chromosome. So now I’m really home Alone. Covered in my own seman. Don’t even clean myself up. I disgust myself for existing. Showering can’t wash sin’s blood I was born with on my hands. Sticky hands don’t matter when you have no friends to shake their hands. Like O said, I’ve never really vibed with guys. Girls always felt like serenity, and guys were there just to distract me when she wanted a break from me. So since I’ve decided that the best thing I can do with my life is to leave girls alone & keep them safe from far away, by keeping them safe from me, I’ve given up on the concept of friends when my only option is men who remind me of all those normal traits that men don’t try to be – those things are what have denied me my Life’s 1 wish, my Wife & our kid. Masculine expression is the sin keeping me from heaven. Why would I want more of it surrounding Me? So become a loner, smoke cigarettes & weed, fast food every time I eat. Because I’m trying to die. And this is how I speed up the process. I know I can’t kill myself, so I’ll let my lifestyle do it for me. It’s not like I’m trying to impress anybody. I don’t even notice cute girls smiling at me. I don’t deserve to look at their faces formed so beautifully. Aphrodite shouldn’t have to feel the male gaze that manifests from me. So just keep my head down, pretend like I’m gay the few short scenes where a girl is unfortunate enough to have to ride an elevator with a creep like me. Man, girls really do have the worst Life 2 lead. I don’t know how they survive a Life of Misery – then go back home, where I don’t even turn on the TV anymore. My brain is gone. TV helps pass the Time, but weeks go by without me noticing if I never do anything worth remembering. I hear people describe my lifestyle like a Loser living in his mother’s basement. And all I can do is agree – yeah, I wouldn’t even fuck Me. Actually, I don’t anymore. I killed my sex drive. It’s just a liability. So when I do jerk it – barely feel a thing. Bust a nut before the video buffers, because my body can’t fathom a sensation that resembles pleasure, so feel Lame I’m premature, not even a 2 pump chump. Frustration is the most common outcome. So given even more reason not to try approaching a girl. Best case scenario – she really likes me, brings me back to her place, only to finding my I can’t get it up, ’cause I jazzed In my pants when she said hi to me. I Am so lonely like an island. It’s my solitude confinement to repent for becoming such a disappointment. Just think, she could have gotten off with someone else if she didn’t lose the lottery and pick the worst man at the whole party. So stop going. You’re just taking away her pleasure by being an option for someone you know would be better off with that guy who keeps slapping asses – never me, but the girls seem to like it when he’s a little crass, at least he gets them off when treating them like meat. But like I Said, that could never be me – all I see is blurred lines when my mirror reflects someone else’s eyes. They say he’s a jerk, but answer every 3AM call & beckoning. Because even if he’s a douche who will take advantage of their hearts and feel nothing when piercing them like darts – girls are realizing he’s the only version of Masculinity that still exists for the Feminine Divinity 2 find. So now everytime I overhear loud girls sleak their minds N the Starbucks line that i do because Grande reminds me of an EX girlfriend I was lucky to date, but as expected – ruined something so great – I always overhear “Chivalry is dead. What happened to all the good guys?’
They’re all living alone. Because they listen to you. When you say you genuinely feel more fear for men than a bear with no compassion, just drive to satisfy their physical desires and eat them alive. The good guys listened. We wouldn’t be another Stanford Rapist that gets away with it like the real monster you fear you could become. Meaning all that you’re left with: those guys who hear that & don’t give a fuck. You’re just a slut – who cares if you choose the bear. To them, you really are just dumb cunts to bust a nut then kick her out at once. He got what he wants. There’s always more fish in the see. And he eats more salmon than that bear you swear be a feminine victory.
I’m sorry
But you didn’t make a statement that opened up the eyes of who really do treat woman like cheap tricks that are worthless if they open their mouth for any reason other than to suck their dicks. They don’t care if the lesser sex despise them. It’s a game of numbers, and eventually, they’ll get what they want. They can sed daddy issues 200p miles away. They know you want some good loving. And so that’s why They’ll shoot every single shot. They’re not trying. So it doesn’t hurt when they’re told to fuck off. So are you finally getting it now? Are you realizing where all the chivalrous men have gone?
As far away from you, not because you’re repulsive. Quite opposite. It’s just that when you call all men beasts & monsters. Who always fake love, who only look for objects to fuck. Then the men that care how you feel, and want to give you what we also recognize society shouldn’t be slit shaming nor claiming your birth rights. But when our presence is enough to induce panic, our Love makes us Manic. We don’t even see ourselves as monsters anymore. We wanted to be Rose’s Jack, but now doing nothing but struggling to express out love in a way that doesn’t sink the ship. But you’ve convinced us it’s just inevitable. We’re no longer monsters nor beasts. We traded everything that gave us drive, so that girls could take the fast lane. But still all we hear are more and more girls getting raped.
Now we’re the icebergs. We’re not villains or creeps. We’ve become Calamity. Floating out at see see as far away from those we promised not to hurt. Yet not just breaking Rose’s heart like Jack sinking info the dark. Rose never gets Her Love Story, but the Titanic still sinks. Now we’ve ruined love because real men know how to step up. After stepping down from CEO to makes room for the powerful business woman had become a fetish for females Who never wanted to run a company, just feel the respect and power that you imagined was all because of the glass ceiling propagated by us stepping up to put bread on the table. Realizing that deep down you wanted to be a homemaker like the 50s, just wanted to be treated fairly by society. Now that you have that position – looking down on us. Such a pathetic man. Don’t you know how to take command and make us feel like a real woman? Why aren’t you pampering us? Why are the only guys who approach us, no matter our career position, only care if you’re talking about the Karma Sutra? Now that we make the big bucks, why aren’t men still not paying for us. Oh, woe is me. I’ll never know a good man who treats me like his queen and does everything for me. And plus we have all this stress from this CEO suit when we felt so much freer N those skimpy sundresses, especially when we got to tease you by saying there better not be a gust since we’re not wearing any underwear – but only sweet boys blush. Now those crude dudes whose 1st text is “Nudes?” then hello only after we send picture that’s Lewd. We’re doing all this extra work, but still being treated like just another slut. What the fuck? I miss the good ol’ days when they opened doors for us. We used to get catcalled on every corner. Now i feel ugly it’s been months since I’ve heard someone say my chest is a treasure, and they wanna bury it deep in us. Because even if it wad inappropriate – let’s be honest – it feels good to know you’re a dime regardless of your mind. And even if it’s uncomfortable sometimes – you never believed those construction workers having some fun oogling the beauty’s booty bouncing when walking past them – you never thought they would ever do anything worse than A curse. And you could see a few guys just keep on working – obviously a few good ones are there. They wouldn’t just sit & watch you get eaten by a bear. You were safe when catcalled, just tired of just being good for your Pussy. But now look what happened? My Pussy hasn’t got pet since last semester, dry like the desert – ’cause now the only wet pussies are those crying sissy’s who can’t get a good job, because we made them give us their jobs.
Somehow, women had taken everything from me, but they’re the ones who feel robbed. So not only are they still treated the same by real monsters masking as men, now they look at me, trying my best to do what they told me they wanted. What they said I could never understand as a man. Like somehow empathy doesn’t exist without 2 Xs to define my privates. Only they could care & understand man, but refused to let the Sweet little boy Who grew up loving romantic comedies could ever understand how it feels to be raped by society. To give your while self to support the other sex, then still try to take more from me. That the idea of a Masculine woman is empowerment – but a feminine man meant he’s N the closet – kinda, ’cause I was trying on clothes that I thought girls would like to see Me in, but fashionable men are too self centered and make me feel like I’m not living up to my own feminine flair. So let’s help society lock up those Sweet Boys Whö like to feel pretty, because feminine men are better as gay friends. Now we can pretend that feminine belongs to women, but the inverse is patriarchy. We want to be whatever we want. Not whatever role you say are meant for women. But if you aren’t 6ft & 6 figures, we’re gonna treat you like you’re not good enough. We’re when you open up to us, that’s just ammo for when we get mad and see you like our absent dad. We know exactly how to hurt you bad. Wait, why won’t he tell me what’s wrong? That fight happened months ago. We’ve been civil so long. Why won’t he open up that feminine side? We love seeing men cru? It gets us horny, but only if it’s not too much it gets annoying. A single tear is strength. Crying every night in the mirror makes you look Queer – are you sure you’re not in the closet? On our first date, we watched a movie on our bed, and you didn’t even try to touch me. I thought you didn’t want me – but then that hound came out and gave me a good pound, but where’s that passion now? I need a Real Man Whö can actually care for the Feminine & understand, just don’t act too girly – why can’t you just know what I meant? What happened to all those fathers who put 3 kids through college & still gave his wife nightly foot massages? Wait, what are you doing? Not right now. It has to be spontaneous. I don’t want you to do it because you I ask, a real man knows when to act & how I need to be held when sad, but you better not misread my signals. I don’t need you to open my door. Do you think since I’m a woman’s I’m too weak? *huff* I just don’t understand why he doesn’t just take me to my favorite place to eat, everything planned – ordering for me like a man, until he schedules a vacation for us to Japan with a whole itinerary for me to read – who the fuck does he think he is? Am I just his bitch, meant to drop everything at a clap of his hands? I bet he wants a sandwich, typical – why didn’t you ask me to help plan? He thinks I’m too stupid to understand just because I Am a woman. Now he’s man-splaining it’s not that he’s talking tne way he explains it to himself. No – it’s always centered around my self, except when society takes advantage of me and he just sits there like I’m supposed to do it alone – we’re partners, aren’t we? This is why women can’t have nice things. It’s all because of the goddamn Patriarchy. But wait a minute…where are all the good men? Shouldn’t a feminine flame like me be fanned and fed gasoline? Nobody opens doors for me anymore – chivalry is dead
So instead of talking in circles forevermore. Let me finally answer your question, since our you’ve proven woman why woman can’t make a decision and need a man to tell you how to act because after living every hell imaginable to make my Sweet Kid info the Best Man. I’ll tell you what happened to all the good men – they’re locked in the closet watching romantic comedies. Because no matter how I worshipped my divine feminine. No matter the fact I defined my life around her. No matter how hard I listened and tried to treat her like the perfect girl that I always believed deserved everything she asked for – no matter how honest -I promise- I am being honest. Even now I look at you & see my goddess. The reason all tne good men are gone, is because you made it impossible to treat you glue you wanted. Because how could a simple man satisfy the Divine? We saw your struggle and only wanted to cuddle so you wouldn’t think we’re just using you. Then throwing it back in our face, losers no matter the race – like husbands can’t understand because obviously we benefit from the patriarchy since we have the propper equipment. Like only the women are being forced to maintain the status quo, and then calling Flower Boys “Gay.” Chivalry is dead when they’re tired, patriarchy gas them on puppet strings when she turns red. It’s never been about him, because I Am HiM. And from the very beginning, my wife & daughter, happy & safe – that’s been the end I’ve been chasing since before beginning. Yet even when Sacrificing each & every strand of who I am to reshape my self & the world into your perfect image & deserving of the Divine Feminine that I had been born with – yeah, bitch – guys can be girls too. You never gave me a fair chance. How could I ever make her feel Like France and get every step step perfect of her holy damce – how could I ever prove that I truly saw Her as my religion. She really was my goddess. Meaning I lost, before Adam’s Lance ever got tossed – I made you my goddess – but you were so focused on your self – you forgot your best friend – Jack coulda fit on the door, but both of you knew who was more important. How could your loverboy ever live up to his feminine goddess, when you forgot to make your best friend into your equivalent – Mac made the you his Pink, Divine Feminine – then played with your silly boy like a toy since both of you were having fun, then getting bored with him, frustrated for not doing enough – but I have a question – you were born a queen, and he sang your name so you became Divine – did you ever stop and consider him your GöDD? Sure, you’d pretend. Happy whatever you gave him. But he did everything a man can to support your perfect process. Did you ever think maybe you should have made your baby blue boy more than your toy? Where’s the Calypso covered album where you prove you really were worth it despite the fact you never needed to convince him. Maybe the reason there’s never a good man, because you forgot to compliment him – why didn’t you make him The Divine Masculine? Because He saw the Divine N you long before she existed. He twisted his whole world to kiss & caress every curve, yet even though a man made you everything that I Am – you refused to make your Divine Masculine. Because whenever there was a problem – Mac acknowledged it was on him. But when you’re acting like a bitch, you pretended it was his fault he just called it as he saw it – He was a Truth teller. But instead of taking a moment to admit, “maybe I deserved it” – refused to reflect – insecurities are easier to project – see, no good men. Fuck the Patriarchy – wait, I’m tired carry me home – what do you mean no? Chivalry is dead – why do the good ones always turn out as Pussy’s – because Mac was HiM, he was never a Man, just like Me, he was born with a soul from end feminine – so gave you his heart and soul so you could Ascend. But the thing is: if he was Her – that means you were born, Him. Fuck tne Patriarchy – because you’re the one whose propagating it – why didn’t you give him the part of you that was destined like wedding rings? Because you never thought a man deserved divinity – they already ruled the World – yet he experienced it as a woman trapped in a man’s body, not Trans – happy with Whö I Am, so long as he found his other half – but though he found her, was blamed for being a man – you wouldn’t understand what it’s lime for a woman – no, I don’t think women understand what it’s like to rule the world, and then blame the Patriarchy they created & formed in their image because they wanted to live at home with the kids, and he agreed – until you got bored & wanted to switch – so he agreed, then got pissed when nor being the best of both worlds – whe the reason be – he’d given all that was him & more. But forgot your friend isn’t just an ambassador for the patriarchy you pretend to hate until you’re running late and need him to push to end front of them – how are we supposed to become good men. We gave all of our self to you, there’s nothing left to correct. How could he change the man’s world, when you decided to become both Her & Him – because clearly you deserve Divinity – but not someone who benefits from the Patriarchy, Patriarchy, Patriarchy – you know why there are no good men? Because we never felt like them. Feminine like Eminem – can you imagine loving something so much, then being raised like you’re the fountain of evil in hell? To understand your sisters, but never have them hear the girl struggling inside an actual man’s world that makes no sense? That not knowing what it the first thing meant, to be a man – yet empathize with girls and genuinely feel the feminine pain, but gaslit into thinking it’s impossible, so devoting his entire life to making it safe for his Daughter & Wife. Because even if be didn’t understand what being a man wad, he was born asking “y” does life hurt so bad tonight – because being born in a boy’s body, doesn’t mean your previous name was the same. That whenever the Patriarchy was taking away women’s rights, you never considered feminine men didn’t fit in, is because we were c never leg in anywhere – too gay for gentleman’s clubs, yet their dicks met the part of them they Felt comfortable with – girls that let boys Snell tne pretty flowers – they decided they’d prefer a bear over him – and just how scared you made the kind of man who genuinely wanted to help afraid to even begin again after Projecting Masculine shame onto him, until he became the rapist you considered all men inherently be benefiting from Patriarchy – Nö we weren’t, refused to a abuse the game. So raped the girl living inside his brain, because becoming a monster was the only way to not become N§ane – ’cause girls think the bear in the woods was their “got ‘im’ moments, when really – all those Sweet Boys like dreams taking form – were made feminine to better serve you from the otherside, but never allowed to cry by wither side, blamed for hurting their girl, when they were hurting more. But a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do, so just ignore – what happened? I don’t feel anymore – now I’m a Real Monster – see? She knew he had it in him too hurt Her – that’s why girls chose the bear right? Because after a man dedicated his life to his wife. Told him he’s like every other guy. Denied feminine flight – only you could never understand the struggle of a WøMªИ – well
I guess you’re right, ladies. It is impossible. Because even when we’re born a Masculine Form which Feminine Flow – no matter what we say or do to understand you – you decided long ago “N’Ø” forevermore
& I’m Am Found
Holy Soldier Roles (A Good Listener)
♡Sugar☆World☮ 