A lot of times I genuinely forget I’m autistic since I became so good at masking, I began doubting my self if there was even anyone under there. I was so good at suppressing my autistic tendencies, I lost track of my actual identity.
However, I’ve been working towards removing that mask, and especially recently, I’ve felt the fruits of my [12] labors. A lot of positives, mainly positives. Actually experiencing genuine, unconditional self-love for who I am really. Not feeling the need to put on an exhausting performance for the Narcissist haunting me who demands I act “Normal.” It’s very liberating to not living like every choice is wrong regardless of what I choose.
Though, with the positives come, let’s not say “negatives,” rather, aspects of autism that I suppressed, so I’m less familiar with how to handle them. Sudden explosions of discomfort from seemingly nowhere, though I have enough experience to understand “out of sight” doesn’t necessarily mean “out of mind.” Though, for the longest time, if I couldn’t find the source of distress, I’d refuse to acknowledge it.
…
There’s a lot more I have to say, but I’m starting to feel this thought unravel…
Masking Like Doom
147 – Solitude Mute [Talk Edition]
Random Thought #147: Words N -§tasis-
Autistic iGИiTiØN (A.M’∃ Finds M3) / §quiggles & lines (Steve’И V. Buscemi [5]) / Reflections With N’Ø Erection
♡Sugar☆World☮ 