I’ve never really cared for my birthday. Well, there’s one birthday I remember fondly, though ironically, not the exact year. It was either 12 or 13. It had to be in Jr. High, so it’s one of those 2, but whatever…
252 – Me To You
29 of my 30 birthdays haven’t really mattered to me. I never understood why people thought that day was special. It’s just the day I happened to pop my head into this world.
Maybe it wasn’t that I never felt like it was special. I just realized that it was supposed to be special, just never did. It was kinda like a reminder that people didn’t really know who I was or what I liked.
I always hated being asked what I wanted. This world never can give me wh’ I really want…
Back from the tangent (luckily a short one). But really, these are all kinda tangents tied together by my melancholy, but whatever…
I guess I’ll talk about the 1 birthday that actually did mean something to me. To give a little backstory to the circumstances around my birthday, I’m a Summer baby. Born in July. I think one reason my birthday felt less special is that, at best, we had a “Summer birthdays” day at school. I remember being so jealous of the kids who got whatever special attention at school that day. The best days were the rich parents who would go all-out & get the whole class treats…
Talking about tangents, that was probably the first real one I lost track of where I was going. Well, long story-short: I don’t think I was jealous of the attention the kids were getting, because I really don’t like that kind of attention. It’s the fact that I was never really good at communicating with people, and the thought of contacting people outside of school-hours gave me incredible anxiety. So as a result, I rarely remember spending birthdays with friends. My family always made sure to try and make it special, but…I don’t really know where this tangent is going either..
I guess I’ll actually get to what made that 1 particular birthday special, since it obviously wasn’t the age I turned. That’s just another lap around this mortal coil.
What made it special was that all my school friends were there, and not just that – they really wanted to be there to celebrate me. Even by that point, I’d kinda given up on my birthday. I wasn’t really planning on doing anything, and so they did all the planning for me. Looking back, it’s kinda surreal imagining a bunch of tweens planning a party for me to have at my own house.
Here’s another little tangent, this time fun. But some of my friends couldn’t find my house since I almost never had anyone over, so I’m pretty sure this was the first time coming there for all but like 2 or 3. So, in my impulsive mind, I took off running around the neighborhood to go find them and lead them back.
I’m glad this reflection is ending Happy…
This string of tangents probably tells an interesting story, or gives an interesting glimpse to my story, at least if you’re interested enough to read between the lines…
Before I finish, I wanna mention the real reason that birthday holds such a dear place in my heart…
I said that it was planned by my friends, but in reality, I only have a vague recollection of who was actually there. Yet, there’s 1 girl I can never forget. She’s the real reason that day is so special.
Unlike me, her birthday is one of her favorite days of the year. Maybe second to Christmas.
I hope I get the chance to make one of her birthdays as special as she made mine…
🎂
♡Sugar☆World☮ 