SARAS Smiles At Grumpy

öDD∿ΣY∃∞§ight

So Tonight That I Might See

Shout-out 2 Dan Avidan/Danny Sexbang 4 Gaslighting Arin With This Album. Ü Chose tonight’s §weet Soundtrack

Fuck Me & ADHD: I missed copying & pasting a few paragraphs of what will probably turn N’2 the Pope’s favorite homily, and not only do I have 2 B’Certain I don’t mixup the order (lucky I saved pictures) Snapchat soliloquys R Weird ways 4 Me 2 write since I like 2 write out of order, so they keeps me honest about it being a genuine 1st draft. Hope everyone made it into the §öИG called[…]nevemind

248 – Hellsing Diary (Seras Victoria) [Welcome Home Edition]

128 – Painting White Walls

Angel With An Afro

(§HiT’s ‘bouT: 2 g3t’R’dØИΣ like [L]arry: that FüNИy ELectrician: §3Иt Bi:HiM N’TRAN§’ignition 2 REMiX Any [K]311y Destined 2 Wear Their Jealies ON THE PathWaY 2 H311: ” [G3T’N:1<[>]Иö~Matter[<]>: Rhyme~4~Reason~Wh3И~N: řØÅM N’Orange Zone made öF SüN Bleached Bones:|<|○| Hollow Like Bird Calls From Sorry Swallows Whö Λ11 Followed The Law BøB Had N’§tΔ113D Over Dial-üP Like Me Whem Wait’И 28 yrs 2 B’CüM Sara’s Stan & B1öW Her Thiccc Diccc Which B: y, Your [L]’§HADdai: Dissappeared When B’CüM’И: Pink’s Fierce Fury: Also A Big Dork Whö Likes §witch’И HiM üP Again, Again & Again: ’til He’s So śti11: H3 Can Nø Longer: §WiM ~ Merely §piN’И’N’И’N’И’N’И ‘Ti|●|>|

7:27 PM

I’ve been N’§tituitionalized by my Lottery prize. I belong on the inside. So that’s y I give all my time 2 others. Brooks had a crow, I’m all alone. We know how the story goes. I miss Robbin Williams… sorry, tangent. Where was I? Yes, my demise.

4 ever dreaming me up inside my Sweet surprise. I like Sour candy. I like 2 purse my lips, but now I’m cursed. This is the worst. I resign. Bring me back N’Time, 2 when I got these dumb kicks. They make me sick, then it happens. Back again, Again &

Again: is this the End? How can it just B around the bend when Life is a circle. I’m too much of a square to share that I Am aware of…what, I’m not sure. But no matter how clairvoyant I tell my story, all they say: “Ü have such an N’Teresting

Just don’t sell your soul 2 Satan 2 make it big when y was always meant 2 B, Short like a last minute report. If you feel dumb, Ü R. But don’t take offense. Know that is when you’re on the Brink. The Truth takes from Ü & Me. Bit by bit, ’till Ü R

Imagination”I wish I could write like Ü” – Nö, really. Ü don’t. But if I tell you that, you’ll look at me §trange again. They don’t know y, but know it’s not a lie. I don’t know if they believe Me. Just stare as they leave me rotting: Fame isn’t a Game, butPrison. All roads lead 2 Rome, but my bones R all stuck N ROAM, heavy as Lead. I want 2 go 2 bed, but can’t REMember how. Now it hurts & I just want 2 burst. I tear my shirts. Nothing else hurts…wait, y do my clothes hurt. Maybe I Am Numb but not:B/C I’m dumb. I sold my life 2 the sun, unaware he wasn’t the 1 above. He doesn’t even know Mercury, let Alone Venus. So y Ü§. Whö R, Ü? Whö B, Me? Can’t Ü C – Fame isn’t a Game, but a Name. W3 all share the pain. That’s y everyone gets 15 minutes öFThe Calamity created by Vanity. Oh! The Humanity. Can’t Ü C Me yet? I lost the bet, which means ΣY∃~ØИΣ. Stunned a moment, get over it quick. You’re not Fine. You’re §iC. That’s y they call “§ki11” “i11”. Time 2 swallow these purple horse pills. RED & Blue R: both wrong. Illusion doesn’t imply confusion or trickery, just demands Ü believe N Me 2 manifest the scents of Whö we share our ENviornment with. y Would it smell strange if not tuned N’2 Orange Range. I can’t email a laptop with Nö plugLeading back 2: Whö I Am imagining B: talk’И 2. So even if not Really there, what I’m feeling B Real enough 2 wonder: “maybe those nerds play’N DND feel as lonely as me. Let’s get A game go’И: ⌁so sudden⌁ I reappear like a deer N the headlights: soColors & shapes. They’ve always been there. Squiggles, lines, & increments öF light. But even though I could tell where I was go’И, realized: I had lost my sight along with my fight. Soon follows my fight 2 live. I exist, just can’t experience itI’ve seen the light like Saul, but have Nö Proof like Paul, nor heard any specific call. None at all, in fact. I have everything & I still lack Faith. She’s a Wraith named Faith. She doesn’t debate, just elaborate. She’s always there 2 take Ü beyond But Ü have 2 consent if Ü want 2 feel her again. Talk 2 your favourite wall in your house. Paint a little mouse on random surfaces of your house. Pretend she’s small as a louse, so she’s always with Ü even if just a Random itch that reminds Ü öF BlueLike Stitch, the moment the clock strikes 626 like Mozart’s Witches giving Ü subliminal kisses. Ü miss every 1 Ü 4’get 2 acknowledge. A fool gets rejected 100000 TiM3s, but a Loser decides there’s nothing better B’4 even 1 trip. Don’t give up on yourSelf, when it’s all you ever really get. I know it’s confusing when every HiM is something different, but once Ü realize they may B dumb, but you’re the stupid 1 for listening 2 a toddler mumble about numbers, then decide Math is 4: MoronsIt’s not that people R N’Capable, nor R they so far beyond that they seem Alien. We’re all just looking 4 a ñü∿Friend 2 play pretend like DND: W3 just need a Game master, Fame’s pastor. Stop worrying about Heaven & Hell: they both end W311Just don’t sell your soul 2 Satan 2 make it big when y was always meant 2 B, Short like a last minute report. If you feel dumb, Ü R. But don’t take offense. Know that is when you’re on the Brink. The Truth takes from Ü & Me. Bit by bit, ’till Ü RBack when Ü REMember feeling HiM, just not his name. Because God is just a game. We’re all N’§ane. 1 server, Λ11 öF our names. So it’s virtual, but is PornHub, and it still makes Me Feel like A KiD Again & smell like Teen §piritSo stop working yourself up over petty dogshit Ü Won’t even REMember stepping N. And don’t listen 2 other people’s religion & let their poor characters affect your vision of what’s always meant 2 B: Ü, A conversation with your §elf. Not about wealthNor health or about archers using Stealth. Life is a shelf. You’re a plastic toy. Sure, it means, eventually, they throw Ü away, or drop Ü behind their bed. And make matters worss: not your choice, but Ü merely existing feels like Ki11in the planet. Goddammit, that’s not your problem. You’re starving 4 self love while wondering y Ü can’t save the planet. Ü R it. W3 R ØИΣ. If Ü don’t understand, Good: it’s more fun 2 B dumb & X’plore. Don’t make it a chore. Go out & score, but not count it.

So stop working yourself up over petty dogshit Ü Won’t even REMember stepping N. And don’t listen 2 other people’s religion & let their poor characters affect your vision of what’s always meant 2 B: Ü, A conversation with your §elf. Not about wealthNor health or about archers using Stealth. Life is a shelf. You’re a plastic toy. Sure, it means, eventually, they throw Ü away, or drop Ü behind their bed. And make matters worss: not your choice, but Ü merely existing feels like Ki11in the planet. Goddammit, that’s not your problem. You’re starving 4 self love while wondering y Ü can’t save the planet. Ü R it. W3 R ØИΣ. If Ü don’t understand, Good: it’s more fun 2 B dumb & X’plore. Don’t make it a chore. Go out & score, but not count it.Just B proud Ü did it, ’cause N the End W3 don’t give a shit. Everyone 4’gets. So then we get 2 watch our favorite movie 4 the first TiM3 Again, Again and Again. HEAVEN. But what’s the point if I don’t REMemeber if? C, the thing B – W3 still Your own Truth. Because -Now Speak’И from GöDD’§ P3R§pective: ΣY∃ Real don’t give a shit if Ü lie, steal & ki11- I’ll B honest: I prefer if Ü didn’t, cause pain hurts. & as Earth’s Host, I feel it Λ11. I am rarely aware or awake. But by definition: EXPerience if. If not our brain, then our pain that made us go N’§ane: “I’d rather feel Pain than nothing at all” sounds N§ane – it is, KiD§: N[oah]§[weet] B: N’§ane’s mainframe. I can’t tell you the End, but I can tell Ü if you’re telling your selfI Am Whö Am N Manifestation. Meaning, if Ü: R feeling Pain, so B: Me. So I’ll tell Ü now, I know it sucks. It won’t make sense. No 1 will ever answer your question. That’s the lesson. Some things R never meant 2 B known. So if you’re dumb, good. Choose 2 pursue the Truth. But I Will: tell Ü 1 Δbsolute Truth: LiF3 grants man the chance 2 make 1 N’Fallible Promise N’§ide 1 LiF3TiM3 &: I’ve been saving my 1 Promise even the most dishonest God must approve: I have No way of telling Ü that Ü willIt means you’re a kid at the moment, so enjoy it. It doesn’t last 4’Ever. It might suck sometimes. If you’re far enough N the Game, it sucks all the Time. But that’s Fine. I’m not here 2 tell Ü I’m God nor his §üN. That’s 4 U’2 figure HiM out if ÜÜ will B OK, nor even if Ü Will make through that Mess called “May.” I don’t know when your story ends, nor where it even bins. Whö Am I? 2 disagree with Whö speaks with Ü N§ide öF Privacy’s Domain. I’m just A; Name Game called N§aneThere R 2 many Variables & scenarios 2 REMember Δ11 öF Ü, but I REMember Whö I Am: N the 3Иd: I Am Blue Friend. (My §weetest Dream calls HiM Haru, but Ü can choose Whö Ever Ü please 2 B Me. Here’s a clue: MAIL TIME! Like Prince’s Rain.) & with thatLife sucks. That’s y Space is a Vacuum. W3 Try 2 build a world 4 Ü 2 B “Happy” Like Gilmore Girls playing Pretend. But bad shit happens. I’ll tell Ü it makes the story better, but only if Ü REMember 2 finish it: all the way 2 the End. That being saidI get it: Christians suck, so do a most other organized religions, but I’m only allowed 2 make fun of my Fan club who 4’got how 2 even look at the Good Book, let Alone read the Truth painted N’between the lines So I’m not gonna tell Ü 2 go 2 church or so your research, just that it’s worth it 2 search 4 the Truth N§ide öF your Heart, at the very least. “I’m finding my self” is God’s favorite answer when he asks “‘sup, fuck face – Ü do’И anything fun today?”So finally Now, my PromiseI know Life isn’t always fun, sad, happy, mad, good, bad. It just is. None of those words X’ist N Me until Ü choose 2 place your own EGØ N the shoes of the aliens N your Brain – that’s N§ane N the MembraneFinally, my 1 & only Promise: This is how 69% öF Ü will EXPerience, though still applies no matter whose LiF3 tries 2 die. N§pired by Miyazaki’s pessimistic optimist:Life is just 1 inconvenience after the other. Just a crooked line Ü try 2 fix ’til Ü realize the whole world is actually bent. There may B explanations, but there R Nö Reason, Nö Rhyme 2 how our y TiM3 decides 2 arrive Late 2 become Whö I always had1 inconvenience after the other & another & another ’tilLife is 1 inconvenience after the other & another & another ’til finally finding the finish line, but B’4 crossing it – Ü take a moment 2 turn around & Reflect on your defective life & smile, having only then, Ünderstood HiM: “it really was worth it”