This song came on, so I decided to listen since she makes me feel good…
So, now to finish my thought on 3. I wasn’t planning on using her name, though i can’t recall it at the moment even though i could earlier tonight. I think that’s on purpose; “odd balls” tend to like to remain anonymous…
Anyways, before I get to 3, I’m gonna talk about something that had been bothering me
Though, before that, I’m gonna talk about something that’ll lead into… whatever
The concept of a “hall pass” in a relationship, even as a guy, really does disgust me. The fact that a man in a committed relationship thinks his supposed 1 love isn’t enough. It makes me sad when a girl thinks she’s being a “dream girlfriend” by letting herself be disrespected like that, even if they pretend it’s both of their ideas…
My mind isn’t speaking clearly right now; there’s something I don’t want to get too close & burned by…
The concept of the “hall pass” i think, for me, I saw it in one of the American Pie movies. It bothered me back then, too, though the part of me pretending to be a boy thought it was cool or something; I don’t really know, it was a strange moment i remember weirdly vivid.
Anyways, here’s something more personal. The voices in my head like to make fun of me for being a “simp” & a “cuck” for reasons you can figure out if you pay even a modicum of attention to my story; I’m really bad at using metaphors when I’m in love…
Whatever, it doesn’t really bother me; I play along since it’d be boring otherwise; I like to imagine the loser who actually gets hurt by mean words…
There is irony present; though, so too, Truth.
Whatever
Recently, they tried switching it up on me, since I’ve convinced them of my desire & dedication, though we still play pretend sometimes. Either way, this time they say, “what if she’s really the cuck? That she wants to watch you fuck other girls?”
It bothered me in a way I didn’t really… whatever
Eventually, I was like, “i guess, if it really gets her off; it’s just that… I’m really not interested in other girls..” Those observing me couldn’t really read me. I wasn’t upset, mad,sad, happy, whatever; confuses in a way that transcends understanding.
This is getting waaahhhyy too far from the point. Long story, short for this part:
I just wanna fuck my wife…
…
So, now actually to 3
Why I thought of her: she’s asexual. She had a boyfriend and really appreciated the emotional connection, though, she had absolutely no interest in sex. She knew sex was a normal part of, not just a healthy relationship, but also a healthy life for the individual.
Celibacy drives you crazy.
So, she let her boyfriend fuck other girls. I don’t know if she encouraged it, though she had the perspective of, like, “of course, that makes sense; that’s a part of this that I don’t want to take part in, so I’ll let some other girl so the dirty work for me instead of pretending I have a headache.”
That makes more sense to me. That’s not really a “hall pass” in my book. Just whatever works for them…
…
I just…
I’m tired of pretending “all boys think about is sex.”
All I think about is Love
♡Sugar☆World☮ 