Kyurem

Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships.

It’s funny, I just wrote something relevant to this topic yesterday, so I’ll repost it here, along with some other relevant writings:

Better 2getHer

I was just thinking of the phrase

“My better half”

And how I find myself falling into the trap of those words. How easy it is to romanticize the fact you’re lowering yourself to someone who should be your equal.

…

I’m reminded of a time, when I was talking with the girl I love, or maybe texting…it might have actually been talking in this instance; i really remember the emotions in her voice, or at least i could feel them in some form…

Anyways, we were talking, and I jokingly called myself a “bum,” and, well, she really didn’t like it. I’ve gotten more insight since that moment, though I’ll admit, in the moment, I didn’t really know why it bothered her, just that I shouldn’t say that again.

…

Maybe I’ll get back to the point.

I’ll borrow some insight, actually, first, from my conversation with my love. Well, really a culmination of insight. Even before reconnecting with the person I would realize I’d always loved, I was lost in what felt like an eternal “in between” phase, never really rebounding from the girl who i thought was meant to be my love.

When that girl dumped me, I tried to “get back into the game,” though I had many realizations as to why I should maybe sit on the bench, per sé. The first realization was that I was projecting my desire to hold onto my previous relationship onto these girls who reminded me of the real person I wanted to be with; they weren’t new loves, just substitutes, and I felt dirty being in a relationship with someone when my heart was with someone else.

I spent a lot of time on the unimportant part, at least for this post.

The other major realization I had was that I really couldn’t love someone else until I learned how to love myself, genuinely. Any “Sweetness” given to the world would be artificial if…

I’m gonna try to be a little more direct. My favorite person is my love. It makes me sad when she doesn’t see herself the way I see her.

Simple as that.

Realizing, the feeling is mutual. How can I say I love someone, her, then hate the person she loves the most, me.

Really, simple as that.

That’s why relationships don’t fix broken hearts. Because you can’t begin to…

You know what, you can figure it out from here.

..

I’m gonna actually come to the thesis statement, at the end, ironically. I like to do things outta order.

Anyways, here it is:

I don’t like the phrase “my better half”; i think a better way to say what you really mean is, “my half that makes me better”

Irreverent Respect

There’s an interesting point

Where a certain level of disrespect

Or rather apparent lack of respect

In itself becomes the highest form of respect

A familiar kind of respect

The kind of respect

Where you call your boss “dude”

Not because you don’t recognize their significance

But you know that they know you respect them

And you both know you’d never call them “dude”

When it was inappropriate to do so

But a casual approach to one’s boundaries

Shows a real respect

Rather than a ceremonial one

Because in keeping unneeded space

In between yourself and another

Doesn’t show you respect their boundaries

Only that you’re unaware of what those boundaries are

And you’d rather not cross those boundaries

Than try to learn where they actually exist

Boundaries

You don’t owe me an explanation.

I don’t really understand, but

that’s on me.

I’m always here

if you wanna talk, but

I don’t want to go over any

boundaries,

so if I never hear back from you,

I’ll just have to assume

you have good reason.

So I guess I’ll leave it at that.

I hope to see you around

and hear from you, but

if not,

goodbye,

my best friend.

You will always have a home in my heart.

[11 January 2024 Revision]

You don’t owe me an explanation.
I don’t really understand, but
that’s on me.
I’m always here
if you wanna talk, but
I don’t want to go over any
boundaries
so if I never hear back from you
I’ll just have to assume
you have good reason.
So I guess I’ll leave it at that.
I hope to see you around
and hear from you, but
if not, goodbye, my best friend.
You will always have a home in my heart.

Break’И & N’ter’И (Room #107 B&E)