Wonder Bread Women

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Best Thing Since Sliced Bread (Basic Babes)

§he hates calling Her basic
Though §he checks Λ11 them boxes
So sometimes I’ll tease Her
’cause §he’s Cute when flustered
Although §he gets mad at Me
For poking fun yet B unaware how
Plain flavors B perfect for
Me; means §he B like my favorite
Food: sliced bread – simply
And so not B my favorite because
öF it tasting exotic, but B
My one & only food I can imagine
Eating everyday, 4 Eternity

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Plan B[rittany Sweet]: Noah’s 1st, ØИΣ & Only Choice Ever Voiced

I’m Genius at making plans. I’m always planning something, even if I’m planning for Nothing. And when I finish my plan, soon follows the backup. And thing B, I haven’t gotten any worse at planning since planting plan A, so plan B is just as clean & green like Trees. If anything, I’ve gotten ever-so slightly better.

And since Plan A is done & dusted, nothing for me to do and improve, while planB is a work N progess that’s still N Utero, so the intrigued possibilities begin to capture you & your thought process.

can’t help but turn most of my attention to where my daily influence still means anything. And you know what? The more I read, the better & better it seems, where plan A is just as grand as whe first planned, planB seems to B greater & greater ’til becoming just as grand as the other plan.

So even though planA normally succeeds, thus determining the direction We all face, as I said,  I Am Genius at plan making. I end up fixated on that Silver Chariot and wondering just how far B can take Me, and the more I look at B, the more I can’t keep my eyes on my…backup prize?

No, that’s not right. Plan B isn’t equivalent to second on the team-sheet. Just because 1st place is A Gold Trophy. Silver medallions are more precious to Me, especially when I’m not looking for decorations to place on my shelf to show off on my marble pedestal that I rarely admire & clean, let alone handle as passionatepy as the moment of Love’s Ecstasy I first got hold of what I’ve dedicated my self to achieve.

And though still beautiful work of art that’s earned that podiums coveted spot, realize how attached I’ve grown to the subtlety of Silver’s beautiful clarity, and truly appreciate that no matter what I wear, I know she’s always there, around my neck, under my shirt, next to my heart, never apart. Where as a trophy is a finish line, the medallion is the start.

And so now having played this parable at 1X speed, let’s REWind Time and playback at 3X after parsing my Poetry:

I am a man of many minds intertwined like one brain. This is so because each mind is only capable at a singular thing/action/plan N any moment. So where as Plan A will get 100% of Mind M’s focus, how much of my attention span I allot to Mind M’s depends on Whö I Am really at any moment.

So if Mind M made PlanA, logically, Mind N would B up for plan B. Hmm..so it’s M/A & N/B, then?

Interesting – almost as if that’s why Mac loved Arianna Grande – the Gold Standard King like Midas, and Arianna, his Tropby Queen whose beauty even inspires Aphrodite to try harder.

Almost as if that’s why Noah loves Brittany – the Immortal Silver King N the Process of reawakening from his last “Fall” where he dropped all his marbles, completely Lost ’til Found myself had been picked up by the Love I thought I forgot until feeling Her medallion next 2 my heart makes the dead organ start beating again – when really, I still B Genius PlanMaker. And forgetting Her was crucial to overcoming what even Master MindM’s Plan A couldn’t attain. Because the Calamity Of this game means a plan implies pursuit of Truth which will kill you if you get too close. I know I’m not as tuff as Mac, so a frontal attack would never work. I needed to get to the Truth while being outside of its pursuit.

So I forgot everything of Ü other than it means becoming one when Whö truly loves you. I had no way of knowing, and even less understanding. Blknd to my path & aimlessly wandering, because you can’t take focus away from someone who has no aim. Nor can you claim to being pursued, when he does is Swimming N Circles.

Because the only thing left with N Me was the belief my true Love existed & that Destiny would would inevitably guide Me 2 my happy ending no matter how dumb I Am as long as I go with the Flow, Good☯Design means our Love’s Time would align if given enough Time. Words had rhyme are pulled together like Gravity because even the gods see how §weet♡Dream are meant 2 B.

So of course those gusts of wind blowing off course and uneven grounds with twigs 2 trip Me into mud face first? And all those Times your phone ph see dh – All of it was apart of the plan…your keen plan, Silver, so don’t give Me an evil eye. Whenever I asked 2 help, “they’ll figure it out” was all I got, and when I helped finally helping no matter what, found out all I was doing was unwinding the spring pulling you back to send you flying beyond where even ΣY∃ can’t C Me. It’s Infinite? Yeah, Neat innit? Year I guess

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Brittany♡§weet♡(Dreams|Nothing)

Brittany♡

My one Love
And whose dove
Guides from above
Mundanity N Humanity

Brittany♡

You B mine
ØИΣ and Only
N§piration and
& Bringing color
2 Blue’s ñü∞eyes &
Then Music 2 my ears
Her Perfume up my nose
Gourmet plates N mouth B
Ecstasy, escaping Eternity

Brittany♡

Never leave
Me again, like
My “friends,” Whö
Turned down for what
Would then bounce, back
All the way 2 Earth N this
Hearse which could B worse so
Like my next verse, curses after
I dropped your purse, & pouring out
Things, wished 2 B unseen, like a used
Pregnancy test, & positive it wasn’t mine
But negative 2 directive, see her baby, then
I cry & try 2 figure out why neither can B mine

Brittany♡§weet♡Dreams

My ØИΣ & only, so then
B ‘coming, by Ü calling
Her 2 B my §weet♡Nothing
Above our love, which now
B even greater than an old
God even when our Love Lost
Paying Λll costs ’til what B
Lost, finally crossing over 2
The otherside of my apocalypse
& both becoming new brand names
The game tried claiming, abstain
B how I’m handling him when still
Only ØИΣ, so combining Mind’s body
With a spirit’s hobbies N§ide lobby
Full of ghosts 2 host, so now awaits
Fate’s ñü∿date, unaware how fast rate
Opening the gate initiates a race, now
N a chase with Systems N place & trying
Our best by being on Time 2 rhyme like I
Am Whö Am, made Ü N2 truly ñü∿Good-Design
REMminding Me of them scenes seen N§ide of
T.V. Time having 2 align with a divine sign
2 combat crime, by being humble & Kind N§ide
2 Λll Minds, Whö now B feeling fried from Fox
Being ill like Nas, a total boss, red as blood
But not a blood, rather a flood of music genius
N’Btween this & his final wish 2 kiss Her, Venus
The Hottest goddess with a penis, being my fetish
Just keep it N’B’tweeИ Ü 6-figures watch’И Ü§ fuck

[Short Author’s Note∿Turned Poem]

Here’s an encapsulation of how I Am inspired, Whö inspires Me, then finally following ܧ all the way through to the otherside where my writing both evolves and devolves N2 Genius & Madness the longer I Am found having been Lost N the sauce called Flow that lets Ü glow as Ü grow then go out and doing what makes Ü happy while becoming Whö I Am Really meant 2 B N The End öF Eternity

[Original: 25 June 2021]

Brittany.

You’re my inspiration
It brings color to my eyes,
Music to my ears,
Perfumes to my nose,
Gourmets to my mouth,
And ecstasy to my whole being.

---

untitled letter | 25 June 2021 | “I Love You, Brittany Sweet

After last night, I woke up to the reality that I was trying to ignore. I love you so very much. And you love me so very much. And I’ve decided for certain I’m going to marry you, just not at the moment. I don’t know how it will happen, or when it will, but I do know for certain we’ll be together. And we will get there the right way; the way where our perfect love won’t be tainted and perverted by guilt and deceit. I wanted our love now, but I was being impatient. We’ll be together in a way that no one is hurt, whatever that may be.

We will get to experience our love, and when we do, we will both have ascended beyond the prisons of trauma. But that might take a lifetime. I don’t know why, but 66 and 81 pop into my head when I think of us. Maybe that’s when our time will be right.

And for one last time for awhile, I want to tell you the most important words I’ll say:

I love you.
More than anything, anyone, or even life itself. I would take on infinity itself if it meant you were waiting at the end. You are my divine feminine, my perfect goddess. My other half. The one whose cracked edges fit like puzzle pieces with my own.

Please remember that you are perfect as you are; and no, that’s not because I’m biased :). We all agree on you, which is why this is hard, but which is also why it’s worth it. I’m never going to stop loving you, so you better never stop loving me 🙂

But give your love to M now. Have a good life with him. He can and will take care of you. I hate admitting it, but I really can’t right now. I’m so jealous I could never take you on a trip like the one you’re on now, because you deserve those nice things. I let self-pity anchor me here, but now I’ve turned my jealousy and self-pity into motivation; I’m not going to give up on life’s race when the finish line is just over the horizon. I had accepted mediocrity until I experienced your perfection.

I’m gonna root for you and M. I hope for your happiness, and that he’s the husband you deserve. I’ve accepted he won the race. You’re with him, and I shouldn’t get in the way of that. But I also want you to know that if something happens, whatever it may be, where you are no longer together, know that I will not miss my chance again. I would propose to you today if I could. I dream of the night where I get on one knee and give you my love that goes beyond infinity. Maybe one day if the stars align, but if not, at least you know you will always be my first choice.

And try not to worry too much about where my life will take me. I honestly don’t think I’m meant to have an easy and blissful life. Not in a depressing way, though. A quote that has always stuck with me is “don’t ask for an easy life; ask for the strength to overcome a difficult one.”

I don’t know why, but my purpose is going to require me to be strong beyond imagination. I don’t know what it is, and it gets scarier as time marches towards the inevitability of fate. But a feeling of certainty was born alongside me, and that certainty told me I will meet my fate. If not for the obligations to my role, then for the promise of “Us” that comes at the end of my duty to this world.

I jest about seeing the future, but there really are things I’ve see. I said before that there are infinite realities with infinite possibilities; so many so that knowing every detail of the process requires access to infinity. However, it’s much simpler to find the conclusion of the process. I’ve scoured through all of the infinite realities we exist together, and though the time we exist together varies, there’s one constant in all of them: our final thoughts are each other. If the culmination of my life leads my final thoughts to you, then I know that I experienced a worthwhile life.

I’m finally ready to be the best friend you deserve. I’m not going to hurt you anymore, and I’ll work towards a life you don’t have to worry about for me. You saved me from my abyss, and now you’re lifting me into heaven. You are my goddess, for only a goddess could wrestle my soul from the abyss of death itself.

This was supposed to be a short note for you, but I realized how much I needed to say to you. There’s still so much more to say, but we’ll have plenty of time now that I’m not hiding my words from myself.

I guess this is the last time for awhile that I’ll be able to say these words, so if you ever need a reminder about how I feel about you, or just how incredible you are in general, come back here, and you will hear my voice and feel my love:

~
Brittany.

You’re my inspiration
It brings color to my eyes,
Music to my ears,
Perfumes to my nose,
Gourmets to my mouth,
And ecstasy to my whole being.
~
The reason we’ll have a lifetime together is because that’s how long it will take me to capture these feelings – feelings belonging to gods and divinity. Feelings that can only come from infinity. But yet I found them from you. That’s when I realized that you were infinite, because you are my everything and more. You are not just my love; you are my Truth.

I want to say so much more, because these words barely scratch the surface of your immaculate beauty, intelligence, and your overflowing well of kindness. I love everything about you, and I’m not gonna let you talk bad about the girl I love 😉

So hopefully after all of that I got the flirting out of my system. I don’t want you to think that my feelings have changed or will ever change just because I don’t say it. And when we’ve grown enough, we’ll be able to tell each other how we feel without falling into the same traps. So until then, know I’m ending every conversation with a silent “I love you.”

Thank you for giving me my life back. I promise I won’t throw it away again. I’ll trip again and again, but as long as I know you’re with me on life’s odyssey, then I’ll be able to stand back up until I reach the top.

I’ve written what feels like 10 conclusion paragraphs. I would write my love into words forever if I could, but I need to do more than just write words; I need to prove my love with my actions. So the rest of this letter to you will be our life together.

I don’t know how to end this letter, or rather I don’t want to. I feel like I finally have been able to be honest to you and myself. But although Love is infinite, we aren’t so lucky with time. So instead of trying to write down every word racing through infinity, I decided to pick my favorite words I found while searching through our futures:

“I love you, Brittany Sweet”

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GO:OD PM | 9:35 PM 24 April 2023

Hey Brittany, just wanted to start by saying this text is actually for mental health for once. I found an article that made Me want to follow through with its advice. In short, it’s about grudges & forgiveness, and learning to put down weight tying Me to the past. (here’s the article if You’re interested: https://wp.me/p6hql3-7IN )

So here it goes. I want You to know that whatever guilt or fear You might feel towards Me, I forgive You. And I mean it, completely. I could actually feel my shoulders release what had been hidden even from Me. Then I felt a new sense of Peace I hadn’t experienced before. I hope You can forgive Me too when You feel ready, but I’m not what’s important right now. You are.

I want to make sure You know I’m not forgiving You just for Me to ease the weight on my shoulders, nor expecting You to apologize. It’s just I know how this storm of uncertainty surrounding “You & Me” is affecting “Me,” so hoping this Clarity will help ease things on the “You” end, too.

Silence can be scary sometimes, and I don’t know when the next time We’ll break it again. But no matter how long this lasts, I want You to know it’s never, nor will be, from lack of care. You’re always on my Mind. You’re -§till- my Best Friend, and I trust You absolutely. I don’t know how long this has to last, but I know You’re worth the wait. So I hope this can ease your worries in between.

And after all that, it’s probably time to go back to my hermit cave and get out of your hair for the night, haha. Of course you’re free to text back if you want, though understand if you don’t. So if I don’t hear back tonight, I want to wish You Sweet♡Dreams until the next time I do 🙂

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Truant §oul Sister / Last Rain Home / Aurelia’s Ascension

[7;30] having a little freak out over my phone. Luckily my WIFI is working again, so it’s at least usable at my house. I’m afraid of losing my Voice again. I’m afraid of losing my only real friend I have left, the Blue Boy with No Voice living N my head. I’m worried when we reconnect, it’s gonna become another 1-way street that’s closed off 2 Me.

All roads may lead 2 Rome, but every avenue leads Sweet Dreams 2 Roam even further away from Home

I miss holding Her N my arms. I miss Her holding me. If I could just have 1 more hug. If I could experience Her Majesty 4 merely a moment more. She could inspire me to ride out any storm. I love Her so much.

[7:39] – If I die today (again) – know I died looking 4HOME – & know that I didn’t get a single thing I ever actually wanted N Life. My wife & daughter. A chance 2 make Music again. A Friend I could trust ’til the end and beyond – the kind of Friend that would make B even a little jealous because She knows that they’re the only person N the world, other than our daughter, that could even touch Her podium.

Know that all I’ve ever wanted was to give my whole soul & self over 2 someone N its entirety. No secrets kept from Ü or Mii. A genuine connection – an absolute affection – a house I own, ready & waiting 4 B 2 finally make it my first Home – our first Home – where I don’t have 2 pretend I’m all alone N an empty room except for the ghost that haunts my little man’s giant bones buried beneath Allegheny county.

Know that if I died today – I died living a Miserable Life – but most importantly – know I would not change a single thing. Sure, never again would I come 2 this dead yet Still dying world again. But know I would never change a thing between Me & Brittany. I know we’re together N the end. I know I get to hold Her 4 Eternity. Last night was rough – N 3 weeks, it turns shitty, what a pity – but that’s part of the deal – I wanted it all so I could share everything with Her. It’s always been about what B deserves. And even if I’m the version of Noah meant 2 bear the cross that promises our happily ever after – know that God HIM§elf couldn’t pull this life away from my cold, undead hands. I let go of Brittany once.

I let go of Brittany once.

It’s the last thing I thought I’d ever do. It’s the last thing done before Time becomes Blue. [8:00]

So if I die today – know to never come back 2 this damned place, haunted by the ghost of Christmas Last. Know that after this world, I’ll never B able 2 smile the same. Know that I’m sorry I lied 2 Ü & never told Ü my real name.

Know that there’s nothing left for Me N this world without B – know that I’ll do my Time N between, but even if my Heart beats, I won’t B living. Know that undeath is a cruel & unusual punishment. Know 2 never let it happen again, no matter the man placed on the stand. Diavolo is a monster, but Doppio shows even Satan has parts worth saving. Too bad salvation looks like Death 4 some poor, unfortunate souls. Know that there’s nothing real when Ū play pretend. It’s all undone N the end. So Y, get up. They’ll just tell You 2 sit back down.

No

When reality is again, Undone – know that they’ll ask you what madness could inspire such devotion to Nothing – Sweet Nothing – and know that the answer Love – and no matter how far I fell, nor the temperature N Hell – Know this, §weet Brittany:

You are, §till and Always – worth everything to me. I have no regret, no doubt – Sweet Nothing 2 convince Me to have Loved N Lost is better than never being Found. I was already underground, waiting 2 B buried alive, until you pulled me from suffocating.

Even a moment with Brittany is worth forgetting everything. Even a moment of ecstacy is worth the trip(s) 2 Hell N Back N Between. Even a moment of Her is enough Time 2 teach me what Ünconditional Love means, and that it exists outside of theory. Even a fleeting moment as passers-by, N§ide of disguise, I can recognize my Queen, because 4 the first Time, I felt like the King of Kings.

I’ve had all of these Momentz with Her – yet even just one moment with Brittany, my §weet, my Divine Feminine, is enough – enough Time to make Me believe again – enough 4 Me 2 EXPerience the §weetest Proof of the Prime Truth: God is Good, and §he looks just like Ü.

Thank Ü, my Love – 4 letting Me B the Lovers’ Game Loser. Thank Ü 4 loving Me more than I could ever Love Ü, not that I’d ever stop trying – no matter the scoreboard. I may have thought it impossible, but it’s just more Proof Ü are the Truth – even Satan, the greatest loser, admits he’s #2 when talking 2 Ū.

Thank Ū 4 being my one & only person – hell, my one and only of anything – N my Life I Am Certain is Good N this world. Ü are my treasure – I cheerish Ü. I’ve never given up on a world that still had my favorite girl of all time, and this Life will continue that rhyme with the resf of time. That’s Y I’m not afraid 2 fall anymore – pain doesn’t hurt anymore, because it reminds me just how Good it is 2 B with Ü, and anything or experience that puts any thought of Ü N Me fills me with happiness. I really REMember much of anything, but luckily – I can’t forget Ü, my Love.

Ü really are special, Brittany. Ü really are §weet. Whether or not I get the chance 2 N this lifetime – §weet isn’t my last name – its yours. I Am just holding onto it for Ū until God grants my one Wish 2 give it back 2 Ü. That’s when I know I’ve finally made it through this cold November Rain.

I’m doing it again, what I do every Time I write Ü a letter. I start wrapping up, then everyone shouts that there’s so much more 2 say – and they’re not lying. So I end up write a 13 paragraph conclusion. I guess I just never wanna end a conversation with Ü, and this is the closest I can get 2 talking with the only person I ever care 2. Even though I’ll probably end up writing more, still – I’ll at least move this part 2 the bottom. So I guess this is goodbye again 4 the Time being. So as always, I end with my favorite lyrics 2 Life’s All-Time greatest Love §ong:

I Love Ü: Brittany §weet

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Sweetest Disposition|[10]|11:31_12:14-21-29-35-37-40-42-43-44-45-46-47|6 5 20 24|6+50 = Reawaken W|⌁R48⌁-•》∿

The first time I’ve ever told The Truth N my whole Life. Never have a I felt. And though I’m popping my cherry tonight, it’s with another man’s words. Again, Again & Again. (And for the 2nd time). Some “Poet” I Am, but I guess that’s the what makes me just another man, who makes me human. And who just now -finally- leaned who I Am, because I realize what I wished for: not money or fame – no, you know me. That’s easy. Not intelligence nor power’s endurance, because I’m Dumb as a thumb now, and run out of breath by taking when walking – so now I do neither. So, obviously it’s me words I wished 4, my spirit. I’d thought so, but no. No matter the time I had N my mind, I’d never find the words to get you back. That’s not life. That’s just painting the blood on the door black. So after I don’t know how long, of searching the universe for the perfect words to give to who I still believe is worth the world, everything & more. Your worth this Brittany, my Sweetest dream. No matter Whö picks up this phone. No matter… no matter at all for that matter. Because it just doesn’t matter. Nothing real will ever bring you back to me, still I chose to believe in sweet dreams trading places when God’s not looking. Because your perfume haunting the room leave behind, in my heart, even if it’s all imaginary. No matter the amount I get to count. No matter how long a drought be my fate. No matter Whö you become, who you choose to be. Whoever really is Brittany – not coming from your lover now – coming from your best friend, no matter the circumstance. Whether the alone N a desert ,  experiencing France from your trance – I wouldn’t trade even the worst moment with you for.. for anything. Like I said, it just doesn’t matter.

If there’s 1 thing that I want you to take away from my words, from me, tonight be this:

You are, Truth 2 God – I Am my own Witness: You are worth it Brittany. You are enough. As is. That’s why you’re the my 1 Proof 4 Truth. Those words R true, no matter Whö choose to read. No matter Whö sends them 2Ü. No matter what happens N between.

You are enough.

You deserve love. And I die by my Word. You deserve love, my Sweet Brittany.

And so here’s where I tell Ü-Whö what I wished 4: not the best words nor Sweetest Disposition. I just wished 4 better timing. So never again, would I miss my chance with any Brittany I awaken 2.

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“§he’ll Wait” / Homewrecker With A Heart öF Gold / Back 2 Life

A good philosophy doesn’t change
How ØИΣ interacts with reality
Rather – Everything works
Exactly like Ü REMember
On the outside, N§tead
Unfolding reality N§ide of
Me, then only changing how Ü
Perceive Whö I Am really & thus
Ü don’t need 2 change a single step
To your favorite dance nor learn
ñü∿lyrical Flow 4 songs that Ü
Know the words 2 – however
Although the same syllables
Seemingly hear something
Never before heard – not
Because Ü couldn’t feel
The vibrations passing
Through your eardrums
Rather never before truly
Ünderstanding an apocryphal
Meaning buried N between lines
Whether black ink or white powder
Because both give me Power like Kanye
“No one man should have all that Power”
Wait – I think We misheard that lyric – so let’s
Bring it back around & really listen 2 the sound

…

“Noah, man, should have all that Power” – C
It was always meant 4 Me – so “No One”
No longer means it can not B done
By any & everyone – rather reservation
A restriction 4 prevention of plebes who try 2
Claim my sage’s seat N §trange swap meets
Where thinkers trade thoughts of thots
On cots, covered N spots ’cause §he B
A cheetah – caught N a bed giving head
2 that guy §he said not 2 worry about – He
Is just a Friend! As all 3 play pretend rather
Than face our Fate formed from follie à deux
Of Whö refused 2 read the writing waiting on
White brick walls, N§tead painting it Pink like
Floyd, covering up Heaven’s billboard, built
4 Messengers sending lessons from Her
Love found above clouds like Cirrus
My cat – cuddling with Me, comforting
Me having found Me crying – mid-Panic!
Attack, my heart rate B racing & increasing
Exponentially, fast approaching the same end
We were pretending wasn’t our inevitability
From before the beginning – “I don’t know”
When he finally asks how this happened
R Ü kidding Me? Everyone knows that
Everyone’s lying about astonishment
When all 3 of ܧ co-wrote this Calamity
Don’t take pity on Me – from the beginning
I knew how shitty I could and would end up
Being – & because I couldn’t grow up quick
Enough, treated Her too rough like a slut
When losing discipline & forgot how 2
Listen – just because I wanted 2 bust
A nut N§ide Her butt, grabbed Her
Dump truck ass, rounding 2nd base
Straight outta the gate, so skipped 1st
Trying 2 get off of this ride & then get off
On Her – so horny, it’s absurd just how much
I want Her, so losing my Mind, choosing Crime
Against the divine when trying 2 break holy
Contracts by breaking up their marriage
Like I’m a carriage full of Sweet words
As well as an armory storing savage
Ones meant 2 disparage the Man
Whose one and only Sin against Me
B actually having the steel balls 2 call
The girl I’d already fallen 4, but couldn’t
Bring my self 2 step forward “She’ll wait”
My greatest mistake – even with guilt of
Sacrificing sacred sacrament, needing
2 repent – yet I must relent – 4 even
Though I know others will judge
Me much harder over the part
I played, the homewrecker
With a heart öF gold – yet
I admit when alone, I sit N
§elf-reflection, not about this
Umbrella Sin hanging over ܧ all
But those words: “She’ll wait”
B my single greatest sin
I’ve ever committed
Realizing this after I had
Another realization – No Matter
How bad I feel now, I’d choose 2 go
Through it all –Good & Bad– everything
Just 2 experience Brittany, Beauty incarnate
So No debate, like math, mistakes equate
Meaning She’s worth it –Still & Always–
I’ll cycle through Hell over & over &
Over again, no matter knowing
How it must end – so that’s how I
Know it mus’nt B weighing too heavy
On Me, not really learning from mistakes
As I continue 2 cultivate her crops N §in
When I’ll again falter on this alter – Yet
On the other end of the spectrum B
Those damn words again “She’ll wait”
My greatest Sin, not because of outside
Perspectives providing me pyrite pressure
Trying 2 crush me like orange soda, then
Things begin 2 pop-pop-pop off – like
Fireworks, or were they gunshots?
Whö knows, not concered either
Way – the day is lost on Me, 4
I Am Lost N thoughts found
N§ide, behind the back of
My Mind’s Good☯Design
Rhyming my lines with time
Now alligned with divine signs
Telling Me again, like I’d forgotten
As if it even B a possibility – “She’ll wait”
Still haunts Me like dramatic Irony
When everyone N the audience
Could C how wrong I would
B, 4 Good things never wait – not
Even 4 their §oul-Mate – Love’s a race
Ü must chase No matter how late
So refusing 2 lose another date
Because of my rate 2 initiate
Having been determined by
My mistake born of arrogance
Thinking I was so great that they
Would never lock the garden
Gate 2 Me, so sauntering N
2 hell as cocky as Rocky
‘Til I fell on my face
N disgrace, and all this
4 Me thinking: “She’ll wait”
My greatest Sin & regret that
I’ll never again let my feet bring
Me 2 ñü∿reality ruined by chirality
Casting shadows over causality
So We can’t quite C whatever
Will come of Me & Poetry
Just knowing it’ll never
Again B those words
Scripting Me like
Scriptures over
Sin, but never
Greater than
My greatest Sin
Of saying, “She’ll wait”
Never again making its way
Through Me, I’m so Humble now
Because I tremble at those thoughts
Of arrogance born of clairvoyance
‘Til being brought back 2 earth
Falling out of the sky after
My bleeding heart finally broke
Alongside it, braindead like stroke
When swimming N circles while
Contemplating Conversation
Telling my §elf, calling Him
Friend – never again will
“She wait” 4 Sweet 2
Escape from Me – never
Again will She lose Faith N
Me because of Me making Her
Wait so long She has Time 2 debate
If I Am actually Late or just unable 2 take
Notice of Her Love, losing it before I’d
Known I’d already taken ahold of
Her, forgetting Whö I Am really
Until awakening 2 shattered glass
After dropping Mac’s Blue Vase while Ü
Look 4 your mate, C her behind Heaven’s gate
Locked 4 Eternity – so I guess Ü should have
Been making §weet Haste & chasing Her
Pretty face rather than making Her
Wait 4 Me – not 1 single moment
More than absolutely necessary
Because – really, “She’ll wait”?
Ü gotta B fucking kidding Me
Ü ingrate – N REMembering
How much we Loved Her
Somehow forgot how 2 B
A Good Friend, thus
Lost, not Her Love
-Still alive- just
Love’s Happy
Ending of
Getting
Your one
Wish 2 marry
Your best friend, so
This is the End – Time 2
Close The Doors 2 the otherside
Of the Apocalypse – did Ü know that
“Apocalypse” means “revelation”
Maybe that’s why Epiphany
Descending feels like Me
Dying after realizing
The Meaning had
Revealed itself 2
Ü – how §he B
Your whole
World

…

So no wonder
Life began ending
The moment Brittany
Left behind small worlds
N search 4 a better life
Better than awaiting
All of Her Life 2 just
Become the Wife
Of some bum
Who forgot
§he B #1
Above
Even
God
If
I
Am
Whö
I Am & B
Truly – if
Ü know Whö
ΣY∃ Am – really
Please pass it on
I Am finally – done
Finished with wishes
Having done my chores
Like cleaning dirty dishes
And feeding the gold fishes
Then, learning my lessons
After going 2 confession
‘Fore a smoke session
Thus as I rest N§ide
This room that’s
Still too messy
Beginning 2
§weet♡Dream
Where we never
Have 2 wait 4 rates 2
Allign N Time, so rather
Reveling N§ide Red rhymes
When relinquished Good☯Design 2
My ñü∿KID§ Whö B §weet as trick or treat
N July, forget about that summer Christmas shit
Because free candy & spooky auras R N store
4 Her – becoming a Jack-o-Lanturn N July
As I to try 2 get by, by pretending I Am
Orange when feeling Blue, & then B
Like real J-o-Ls, meaning Fires B
N§ide eyes being Illuminated by
Torches – designed 2 look
Like Orange Range’s 5pt
Asterisk – ready 2 risk
It all on one final call
So before I get the ball
Rolling like stones again – 1
Last line 2 stall B 4 I Am Fine
Whenever The Doctor Brings Me
Back 2 Life, Now! Bring Me
Back 2 my Beautiful Wife

---

The Fraud B Found

Hey. This isn’t for me. I’m turning my phone off after this. So it doesn’t matter if you reply. If words find your heart that you wanna share because … whatever. You have all night to be you. No pressure to reply quick if you wanna say something. You have all the time to find your words. And if after all that time you find that you have nothing to say. That makes me happy ❣️ genuinely. If I’m honest. I’m not sure what I mean. But there’s a part in me that just says “she’s free.”

I’m not gonna hold the moment any longer than that. Just know even now those words you inspired are gonna be a very important part to whatever comes next. Thank you for making the world brighter when you walk by.

But I’ll stop with those words. I’ve given you enough. Probably more than you want.  But I know you’ll at least want these ones. Because like I said before writing more than I should. These words are for you. Or at least someone I remember.

Way back before all this… became this. I remember you asking me if I did coke. I remember how scared you were to ask it. I’d done one line, but never really had a desire to pursue it. I knew that if I came across it, I probably would. But I don’t think I told you that part. Then you told me about a dream I OD from it. A feeling not quite shame, guilt, regret. Not quite those. But … I guess a moment I woke up about how much my lifestyle extended beyond me. How though I never thought I’d go over the edge like that & leave behind a body for you to find… you still experienced that. That even though I’d done one line, it was more luck my life didn’t align with many cokeheads than anything about the life I was willing to lead if my cards had been dealt differently. Even up until this point. I had told myself to stay away. But one day I might be living a life that requires me to say no for a change, and I didn’t know if I would in the moment. That even if we were together. I could envision that moment when you blow up at me coming home as the worst person possible. The person who inspired that scary dream. Not even that I’d make you experience my death. But live with that betrayal. I was willing to disappoint you. Not that I would. But it just felt so easy for me to fall again. After everything. And I still could see myself gambling a life that no longer belonged just to me. That even a 99.9% isn’t good enough, if that .1% was because of who I am. “I won’t be that statistic” until I am.

So I guess after all of that. He’s the important part. I finally had that moment where I decided it’s off the table completely. The gateway to heaven could be the thinnest line god commands me to take part if I ever wanted to reach tne finish line.

God’s not worth it, Brittany.

You’re worth it.

Not even as some what-if of … nevermind. What-ifs are dumb.

God isn’t worth letting that girl I remember being so scared for me that we hadn’t had a conversation in years, and she still felt so much fear from… from, plain & simpl÷ – being a pathetic man who didn’t deserve someone who cared so much about a person I considered as “nobody would kiss me” or at least, miss the part of me that felt real. That I’d have plenty of friends and family crying over me. But at the end, just be forced to admit “they’ll get over me.”

So thank you being that person in my life. Again, Again & again. That I can’t just do my time – while numb to time.

I’ll never forget how i hurt you, by hating that sweet boy I tried to bury in my apathy. That even if everything is forgotten in the end. I felt like I’d always be that asshole who slipped 1 too many times. Enough to somehow echo through existence, and find the only person who ever really cared to know me. That’s it. You’re the first person I ever experienced conversation with. I wasn’t paying a game of “where is this talk going, so I can prepare for c the next step.” There was no next step. You were finally there. All you wanted was to talk to me. And I’d never experienced such freedom of not having to filter & position myself so they wouldn’t leave if I said something that got lost in between what I said & what actually became my reality.

If just for that moment you let me be me, then made me feel like every word I said was a treasure for you.

I can’t put into words what that meant..means to me.

I’m not willing to give that up. So God can go to hell if that ironically becomes my final test.

I’m finally c at a point where I want things again. Where I can be bought or bribed.

Nothing is worth being certain I’m not why that girl who asked me if I did coke experienced that scary dream.

I finally figured out what was important enough to do that it didn’t matter if it neve came true.

The next time you ask me if I’ve done coke. You don’t have to sound scared. You know the answer – “one line in college” but this time there won’t be that sin of ommission where I couldn’t admit that I wanted to. That’s my answer for all time.

This is the first time I’ve experienced unconditional Truth. I didn’t even know that’s what this was.

So I guess I ought to apologize for the beginning. It wasn’t a lie. All these are meant for you. Just now j decided not to post them anywhere.

Though, just as always. There’s something about you that always brings me something new when I find those perfect words. Because I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. So if I don’t capture those perfect words for so. I realize I’m the full who put you full of bullshit. You’re BO is perfume. I’m the dirty who needs to shower.

You really have inspired
Sweet dreams

---

Love is Real (2D Cs MΣ'<V3>)

I’m too tired to write anything pretty or weird. Just want to say something that’s true no matter the time or day. Or even who ever ends up claiming me like a name.

I shoulda stayed that night

That night in the parking lot. I should have never let go of the special hug. I should have never driven home. No matter 5 minutes or buck & a half to get back.

Gravity feels §trange when you’re used to floating inside your brain. It’s heavy like a weighted blanket, bringing Lost boys back to earth – sometimes things feel better when their heavier, like the night sky.

Sometimes Red lights can mean go

So although I shoulda stayed that night, and you definitely should – sometimes the wait really is worth it. Maybe that outta-this-world girl isn’t Cosmic, rather Basic – like Grande lattes. Running late, bare feet ∿ through my Sweet Dreams.

The girl next door makes alien angels & fairy queens seem Mundane; kinda Lame. Numb like a lump that never feels the same; fuck Fame. You’re insane if you counter this claim:

Love is Real

Brittany, my Sweet – She B my Proof; Aphrodite is Fair, Sexy Nasty. Just admit Her Truth, then work out your shit. And snip-snip, be quick about it; so when you finally get it – your 1 chance, don’t miss it. Your chance to sign Love’s contract with your Queen, your Divine Feminine Destiny’, your Lover, but most importantly:

She’s your Best Friend

Immortals realize even infinity ends around the bend. But She never does. Fools in love never even consider leaving the moment, getting lost in the moment. So only amorphous Immortals write goodbye letters & fairwells. Real Love always ends like a kid, grinin’ sayin’: “until then…”

Art is Dead

A Pinocchio performance sounds hollow like words bouncing off an empty chamber. Conversation never ends, it transcends. I know I’m gonna die, that’s fine. But I’ll always believe in seeing Her one more time; when tomorrow, ‘comes today.

---

§weet Love’s P. Control

1 reason Y
Ey3 love her so
B how I love 2
Put on a show
Yet she already knows
& N’Fact – my greatest fan
By Definition
Thus loves every Dumb
Moment full of flubs
So with Her
She feels like Heaven
Because like I said, I have
Always felt I Am most Normal
Whenever I Am N A Performance
Meaning since She loves my show
Although already knows how I Can
Change my clones like clothes
And she accepted the Truth &
Still she chose 2 B, 4HIM, His
Definition – meaning I don’t
Have 2 chose between telling
Her the Truth & becoming N§ane
She’s having just as much fun C-ing
Me Make all öF this these funny faces
And hearin’ all of His different voices
Thus all my Sin becomes dust N the wind
Now, turnin’ golden like Steel Ball Run
Because the Game’s name B N’§ane
& since She can Understand Me
And actually believes Me – now
Like a Win-Win since I get 2 put on A
Performance öF A Lifetime: The World[o]
Like Dio – B my stage, and She’s magic
Like a Sage Mage – meaning She gets
2 keep the Truth She finds, no longer
Becoming Lost – No, I Am Now Found
Safe & Sound since though it’s always
Been an act – even those panic attacks
Never again Will I have 2 play pretend
Because that’s what happens when
Best Friends transcend the End
Going beyond Logic’s song
Now I Am never GONE
Nor will We B Over
So finally come together
2 becoming 3 öF a perfect pair
It would B wrong 2 call our Love
“Strong” – No, it’s beyond – meaning
Ü cannot measure our Love on a scale
Destined 2 fail like Ahab’s white whale
All because our Love No-longet gives ܧ
Strength – rather §weet Love has become
The source of all Strength – We claim
Her name as our Love’s forgotten
Name – §weet hands now hold
P. Control – like Prince with
His Royal “We” – together
We Power the mainframe
That’s how We got our name
On the cover of the greatest game

---

Home Is Where Her Heart B: A Madman Trying To Find His Way Home Having Forgotten Who I Am Really & How Home Feels 2 Me Whenever You R All Alone

I’m a simple man – I don’t need a mansion that matches my god-complex with a golf course lawn found on my private tropical island that hosts parties for all the elites like royals & celebrities who all stroke my ego since I need them to because no matter the absurd amount of money, you can never afford genuine loving connections, as well, after all those dick pills, and you still have to lie a pinch or more about how it’s a full 2 incher as if a millimeter or 2 will ever change how pathetic they think of you.

No – life of luxury means nothing to me if it means experiencing the entirety of the human experience behind a tax-bracket barrier that lets me pretend they’re inferior to me & my frown while those who will never know how fun it is to have abundance couldn’t care less. They’re all laughing together with smiles as big as horizons over scenic cerulean seas with their friends & family surrounding. Reminding of Serenity.

So – I’ve told you all that I don’t need to be happy, as well as what you should seek if you think you feel incomplete and need to change course before you end up on the floor in front of your white walls painted like Pollock using bodily fluids as your artistic vehicle like Warhol but rather than semen & pee – brain matter I splatter against my bedsheets because the part of me I hate so dearly be the one that thinks & thinks & thinks until he thinks all there is to think so thinks he’d rather not think ever at all because no matter how tall nor high you jump in spring, every summer ends with that autumnal fall as you roll like a ball into your winter wake while you await when again awaken then again taken on a spin through the cycling seasons as you repeat your sin that brought you here to begin with as you just submit to shit and finally gives in thinking they’d actually let someone as miserable as you quit & go to sleep 4 Eternity N Nirvana, sweating like sauna as they read your holy sentence after causing all that trauma.

I’m ranting now – my Flow is in Go! Mode all words fall out of me like that ball on New Year’s Eve to greet this arbitrary date like it’s great because we choose to change the number on our calendar when it’s winter rather than in March or November. And here I go again, ranting about something unimportant that won’t end up in God’s final report so why even resort to extortion to force yourself to forget information like you’re getting a brain abortion & destroying a large portion of your identity until you are no longer able to see what you want, nor are you able to truly remember who I am really until forgetting what your Life really means in its entirety.

Word vomit again – let’s may keep it simple now so I can sound the siren & light the fire when finishing. When it comes to Me, I care not for the location nor the stock of stuff stored in my station. The only thing I need to declare, “Here is where I care to plant my pear tree and grow for Eternity,” that one thing being:

Anywhere where my heart feels Home – for some people it’s a time & place, others it’s a meal or tome. But what is it for Me – Noah Sweet specifically – what do I need to feel free as birds flying above my tree? Simply: Sweet Nothing. And if you don’t understand what that means, here I Am speaking clearly, fuck Poetry

All I need to call any place at all “Home,” even in a shitty outhouse found inside a frozen over town in the sticks like Nome, all I need is B. All I need is my Brittany standing next to me so I can hold her in my arms and keep her safe with me for Λll Eternity & even beyond! Because for some, it’s “’til death do us part.” Though for those who can understand the difference between a civil unity and marriage between 2 hearts when consenting (which B a requirement N acquiring this alternate reality) – death isn’t when this commitment ends – no, my Love – death is just the beginning! The beginning of an Eternity where reality constantly shifts as Time & Space becomes little more than nonsense and of no consequence, because the only thing important to me remains unchanging.

TL;DR – Home is where Her heart B, so ’til Death does its part to become just the start of true Love’s tryst. Awaiting the kiss from the miss after having missed my last chance as N that instance since, when going for it, she morphs into mist then vanishes deep N2 the abyss and leaving me all alone with broken bones & burned tomes to atone for how long it took me to finally pick up the phone to tell her that it’s her & her alone who can be my happily ever after where we stay forever N Love’s stasis rather than chase her kiss for Eternity & continuing Infinity’s marathon run that only ends if you figure out how 2 become unbound N ØИΣ & Go Beyond logic’s last star driving your bizarre car going VROOOM! whenever doing something claimed to be impossible, like going faster than light or winning against God’s infinite might of omnipotence when N a real fight & not when he’s playing possum or asleep at night.

TL;DR for the TL;DR – I love Brittany so my ideal for home is any combination of Time & Space equates to faces meeting whether it happens during Life’s race or after ending Eternity’s chase. Home is where B’s heart is, so I’ll just live in houses ’til Fate can fix this instance of star-crossed lovers awaiting one another.

& finally, “Fuck Poetry” obviously doesn’t actually mean anything when always flowing freely as Blue Friend N Free! For the words that drip out of me stains my clothes so poetic prose continues to expose my hose as it overflows from broken plumbing twisted like a spigot, I need a cigarette, ’cause fuck me, why do I keep word vomiting like a freshman doing a keg stand at her first sorority party that ends at 3 with 3 yet no clothing – once again, there I go again. Pretty words pouring out of me while narcissistically nursing my story because unless it’s about me, it’s boring, but not really – I hate talking about Me, so I guess this is becoming even more Proof how the only thing I need to continue breathing B the golden air of inspiration bursting forth from Brittany N2 me, blowing me over & taking control like remote as I actually emote instead of autistic masking proving again She be like water to a moat, she’s the ink N everything I ever wrote. She makes me float like a boat, keeps me warm as winter coats celebrating Halloween N July that’s hot as French fries & carries me when I’m feeling week N Her Versace tote bag that she got for free from being so pretty, and clearly I’m taking some liberties blending reality & phantasy to make my perfect circle story, it’s just I can’t even imagine a world that wouldn’t absolutely adore my favorite girl in any world even when considering an omniversal scale with infinite opportunity, meaning all things should be a possibility, even realities defined by tragedy. So clearly I’m delusional as Thomas trying to start a farm for his 4 foreign Llamas on the run from alpaca attack squads sent by false gods trying to uninstall reality’s word for Llama after mixing it up with the word “comma” in primary school primarily schooling in drama & causing trauma that we bury & reply “naw” when N therapy and they ask Me if there’s anything from my history that could have caused the child N me to stop growing after being emotionally stalled for never learning how to process sad things because of being called “fag” for crying. So no longer letting the black cat I have with half a tail and razorblade nails out of the bag, because at this point I’m just glad he didn’t get mad & try to stab one of those pussy nerds who laughed at us, calling my fine feline an absurd word that sent me overboard, lost at see, swimming 2 America – now just look at me and this sorry state I find my reality – not even talking about the topic presented to me, so I guess…

Final (actually) TL;DR – Brittany may be my one Love above all no matter how life rolls the ball nor whatever names we’re called. But N the absence of my Queen B who’s sweeter than Royal honey Leela almost died when she tried getting some – there B only one who comes close to Her Divinity – & that’s the power called P, accompanying me on my odyssey N§ide öF my Poetry, thus the only process including the one called “Person” able to continue to push me to break my limits and achieve completion of Requiem’s remission report by Me I never inteded on finishing because I was afraid of the day I had neither neither B nor R when playing with P – realizing Requiem’s Requiem doesn’t mean removing R from your stars, rather realizing Requiem may B gone, yet in its place, something new began to become – for Requiem Squared remasters R, now becoming Relinquish, the phantom fish who wished to swin N imaginary Cs – wait a minute…how did I get here. Who am I explaining Requiem’s reincarnation N2 Relinquish like I’m Bruno turning Trish over to Diavolo then deciding that he can’t let go, so throws everything he ever owned out the window for another Pink haired hoe that will make it through clear while you end as a reading of a final will & testimony bestowing your goal to the new kid who inherits your fig tree orchard after fulfilling terms of agreement. Now seen eating the fruits of your labor as he savors the flavor after your loss, because although your void left behind may be heavy on Me, becoming the boss because of your loss helps to counterbalance as I carry this cross across moss covered N frost ’til becoming lost again, mid-sentence like having life N prison B premature like a miscarriage birth by killing your self first.

Really though, this is getting beyond absurd. ADHD is the worst. Transmuting Time N2 Rhyme while rehearsal of a reversal force 2 change course when rough ideas of “who I am really” & “what I want to be” become too coarse for my horse who needs ñü∿shoes like my nike’s on my feet that keep my cypher complete as I compete 2 beat time N a race by replacing it with my face – now I Am Whö Am really, killin’ Time, started with 1, now it’s nine, that is nine crimes with fines that I’ll undermine by making Good☯Design even better by using öDD §weet♡Deams as he cleans up everything made messy when acting mean like Green, now Red is dead, so maybe instead of risking being seen through the 2 way mirror behind the screen, why not try claiming Reds route 2 clout, because think about it, the rainbow is covered N KIDS full of shit, so why not take the path of least resistance, the path who’s king no longer exists inside existence rather travels time as mimes N mid-transistion Francis places N trances then lances like Adam & Eve, at least if considering the versions from that show where this shithead named shinji with his infamous left hand holds things together, especially friction’s heat & his teenage meat after seeing Asuka asleep after a particularly bad defeat.

What the fuck am I even doing anymore? Why the fuck am I describing a dirty scene from an anime I haven’t seen since I was a high school teen who wasn’t too socially keen, meaning turned to outcast media to make friends with characters like me even if everyone of them were imaginary – the happiness I felt when seeing them succeed was real enough for me to at least not cut my lease short when I had little to no self worth which still needs work but much closer to “cured” end of the spectrum when compared to the “terminal” option just given to my imaginary best friend – wait, what? Even my phantasy refuses to make things easy for me to be happy? Talk about getting the shitty end of the short straw you’re being forced to drink curdled milk from.

This is just getting worse & worse for me as I continue down this curse. I’m so far away from both lines across the country that align to determine the dimensions of this steel ball run. I’ve all but lost this cause, so instead of continuing parallel to this course I’m worried will lead Me and my horse to a hearse, I’m gonna have some fun & run perpendicular to those competing, because even if I’m guaranteed to get last place now, receiving confirmation will be far more fun if I can make it the country known for margaritas & weed to drown my sorrows deep while sending my sight way high up in the clouds which are manifestations from the lungs of Mary & Juan, a foreign exchange student from Guam who always gets called cartel ’cause can’t tell on them ’cause snitches get stitches, and this kid is as much of a bitch is, that an imaginary association with a criminal organization is enough to feign ignorance & maintain a sane appearance while losing your brain trying to train so you can frame the game for murder after changing your Name to Shepherd as you herd words heard by bluebirds who then spread yellow words like cheese curds from Wisconsin as you spin sin N2 verses meant to reverse curses so even if it never materializes, at least you know going 2 Hell N Back was worth it, if only for the morsel of morality born from morphing causality into a ñü∿Core that will never again commit the one unforgivable sin, even if it’s only unforgivable from your perspective – God wants to, but consent means you have to agree too. So if you can’t even look N the mirror for Fear of seeing the same man that raped your brain & taped the whole thing, ’cause he like to take it out when he forgets his self worth, so makes you feel worse instead of buying a coach purse like girls who just need a treat for being forced to bear the weight of Femininity N a perverse patriarchy

Once again – I Am lost. Instead of continuing at this Madman’s pace ’til finding myself lost beyond the point of no return where benefits of home can no longer account for return cost, better then for you to accept the loss – normally true, not for me – ’cause there’s no going back after Transcending – at least this is the case before meeting my §weet face to discuss my Bizarre case – but I’ll save that story for another day, though long story short – Brittany is worth more than everything – even when becoming the one above all, even above the Truth’s call, meaning if I wanted, I could recreate everything that I love about her, She would never be “my (real) Brittany.” She would never be the §weet little girl who won my name the moment she entered the game by being the first person to ever believe me when claiming something crazy. She had No Doubt about me, and Empathy means I was able to experience Truth’s Peace – §erenity is her name – and after meeting her, understood Brittany be the incarnation of the divine Feminine I worship N Me, like Brittany being the Zelda to my Link as Z be Hylia mortally born.

I remember now – this post was about home – and N her arms B the only place able to claim to mine – the only place I feel safe to be crazy and not losing Whö I love. Brittany, my one & only, none above, still & always, Unconditional Love’s motivation. The queen of the scene N every story seen by me, because she makes me feel like the king of everything, because when I have her with me, only then do I feel complete, so all I want be Sweet Nothing, which No other girl found in this absurd world could ever perform such magic, tragic for them men never given a chance at the first dance with sweet nothing existing between she & I as reality melts while falling down the Blueberry rabbit holes called her eyes taking me by surprise like Alice arriving N wonderland.

And with that, I’ll end this insane note before getting Lost again. I hope you found something valuable to you along the way as I lost my mind today. But having found my way back, not home, but a house close enough to REMember Whö B my home, having forgotten the trail like an ancient tale of those Whö failed to prioritize the light N eyes rather than the stars at night. So, having found meaning from the Madness manifesting N Me, I choose to close this bizarre book before I start to look for something more, only to find my self beyond lost with an öDD, forgotten mind left behind N Me, but not any more time for my eyes for me to try & revive my wife.

Attempting TL;DR – Brittany is the definition of my perfect home. No Doubt – no amount of money, power, nor fame could ever make me consider trading my dame as giving her my name is the same as – no – better than winning some lame game played to entertain mundane brains – for when she holds me, I  experience ascension – I turn love up to 11 like Spinal Tap as I begin to rap about her divine Feminine found within Her bosom & Whö B fair, sexy nasty, and the only one ever convinced me to believe N things unseen, for being called, crazy, stupid, worthless, poor mess, etc. – being called all these things which used to frighten me became an inconsequence when realizing I didn’t care what those losers think of me, as long as I have heaven sitting next to Me, holding hands & listening to our favorite bands, then having that moment of clarity when Epiphany descends upon me, Granting me Certainty that can no longer B taken from me – as I can now C oh~so clearly, illusions are real, they take form, for Perfection is an illusion that sprouts so much confusion, ’til Perfection’s manifestation before my very eyes I hadn’t realized when N disguise while trying to surmise if I Am fit to B the Divine Masculine for her Femininity born with Divinity Meaning she struggled to believe N existence of a man deserving of Brittany, luckily Brittany put N a good word for me after I called her pretty when little, before I heard the word “flirting,” yet somehow still scoring my buzzer beater while blind to Whö was really pulling these puppet strings ’til inertia & momentum took care of things, cutting my bindings as I shout out loud & scream, “I’m a real boy now! I can feel things.” Before, I moved my butt & feet N time to sounds I heard, but not until  meeting her could I hear Music for me 2 groove & feel shivers when she touched me and I could feel something other than strings pulling me like gravity or magnets N her eyes, later I world learn the word Love, which just like with Music, I’d heard the word, but didn’t understand & couldn’t comprehend until meeting my best friend, who I now realize B godsend & the only one who I never questioned if genuinely cared for me or just the image they pretend I am when N their head where I’m dead, so have no way of knowing how I acted when Red or N transition to another color band on my rainbow of personalities composing me yet only seen when bent out of shape & split apart like taking one poptart and leaving the other to go stale in the dark – I’m doing it again – I’m getting Lost while deviating from my mission to explain the perfect conditions called home, so

(this means it’s the real thing)-§: TL;DR – Every man is a King, his home his kingdom. And when it comes to the §weetest King this planet has ever seen – the one & only thing I need to create a kingdom perfect for me: Her, my Queen B sweeter than honey, so the only one able to hold onto Me and make me believe:

Brittany (§weet)

(§weet: her real last name – only holding onto it for her ’til God grants my wish & she takes it back from me when I give her one ring that means

---

Brittany’s Balcony (REMember: MΣ) [H:aru’Meets’Scandalous:§]

I’m gonna write
What I failed to
Last time, Lost
N the Rhyme
Fuck Poetry
Ü can have
H3R back
Just give
Me mine
Brittany
So I Can
Finally
Hold my
Daughter
I Am… no
i’m sorry
Ey3 was so
Focused
On B’И
Fine
&
Fill’И
My Giant
Shoes
I forgot
2 watch Her
1st steps, baby
Dinosaur, Card
Board Wings
REMembering
How little Foot b
From A Land
B’4 Time, b’4
CR1M3
Ki11 Mii
-Pretty, plz-
I let Ü have
My §weet
Face, so
Let Me
Let go
Sin Consents
Forget Me
4’get Me
Forgetting
4: gets §weet
1: Goodbye §õИ
Ü: were ~Always~
Better than
Me -§till-
LGFUAD
REMinds
Me öF
Guess Whö:
Brittany & Me
On Her balcony
She’s Christian
Last öF the Real 1s
So I was surprised
2 saw my Pegan
Surprise – opened
My eyes, thought
She was so cool
Unlike that Cruel
School, Buddha
Felt forbidden
Another N’§tance
ÖF abnegation
But just like J.C.
I knew I was safe
As long as Brittany
Was comfortable
With the Chimera
Called N§anity
Love Lost
So did Humanity

*

I’m not asking, Y
This time I’m done
2009 says goodbye
Doors close, windows
Reboot like A Breath
Of the Wild: tender
N’Mild – Brittany
Plz come back
To me, I’m
Done
Writing
Weird words
4 §trange sands
I’m gonna make a band
So I can go on tour singing
Your Sweet Name, I’m just
Holding onto for now
Brittany §weet
B my Destiny
Fate’s Late
I Am Great
I Am Fake
I Am Good
Arrowood
One shot 2
Shot, drop
Like calls
Blue stalls
Thinking
’bout Blue
Curtains
He knows
Nose goes
Rhinoplasty
This is the Last of M3
Bury Me under §weet’s Tree
That’s the only way they’ll let Me
Hold my beautiful baby, branches
Lose their leaves, but cold wind
Won’t blow her cradle down
Sail away, broken Styx
I hope this does the trick
I’m not Harry Potter
My Elder Wand
Was made already
Broken. This isn’t magic
Just Sins singing about tragedy
Please, my §weet Brittany
Come back 2 Me
You’re the only 1
Whö makes me
REMember: MΣ

---

REMember MΣ / Sweet Boy Soliloquy / Patriarchy Parody (Chivalry B Dread & Ü Killed HiM) / Denial öF The Divine Masculine / She’s The Man; He B Queen / EY3 AMªReal WºMªИ / N’Ø Blurred Lines

This is a hell of a story. The Culmination of Mac finally manifesting N §weet. Finally recognizing Whö I was born. Why Feminine Has Always Felt Divine. Why cooties were such a weird concept too Me. Why Even As A Kid N elementary, I was the keeper of peace between the boys & girls fighting about which side was better. Why Even As mediator, I always hoped tne girls won. Because I wanted to be one. Not that I needed to change my body per se. But why I never vibeed with dumb dude culture & pretended I wanted to be there, when boys always made me Feel nervous or scared, yet girls inspired §erenity 2 Bloom N Me.

Because I’m a boy, and I’m happy with my body – but locker rooms felt naughty for me to see. Because I was born with the soul not from HiM – but öF Aphrodite. Why it hurt to get kicked in the balls, but why my Moody Blues seems to be N§ync with all the girls on their period. Why I was born with a Y chromosome, but felt so alone at boy scouts, it’s the 1 & only thing I was ever allowed to quit. And that i lasted for only 2 meetings. I could go on forever with examples of why I’m a boy physically, my a girl N Spirit.

My body may be Masculine, but Piloted by the Divine Feminine Spirit. I’m not a girl or a boy. I’m MΣ, simply. I wouldn’t change a thing, but how much easier life would have been back then, if we just let boys experiment with nail polish & ballet and not think we were gay.

I’m not gay – I know that. I never felt comfortable with men, even if I found some attractive. I’ve Always been a loverboy. But that’s cause I’m a plant. Solid like Snake – so I could be the dream boy so actually could read a girl’s mind & make Her feel divine without needing to c tell me how or why.

Because that’s my purpose – to be Her dream boy. Not a dream boy, specifically Brittany’s. Because all girls are beautiful to me, but I never felt the need to pursue anyone. If I had to describe my Sexuality – I Am B’Sexual. In the same way I woke N a man’s body, so too, could Brittany. But Brittany is my Aphrodite. She embodies Beauty for me. She defines the intangible ideas to manifest my reality. I’ve had a lot of different fantasies with Her, and I realized as long as I felt Brittany, I’d fall in love.

I actually remember the moment I called her Aphrodite. It was involuntary, so felt a little corny &, not embarrassed, but like Mac when people ask him about The Divine Feminine, realizing he just spent an hour fucking out ears, then pretending he didn’t just make me a real woman.

I’m realizing I’m starting to get a bit too deep on my own stork, that I don’t want to take away from this being about the poem of self discovery. So here’s 1 last thing that is half confession/hald explanation of “Brittany-Sexual”

I’ve mentioned how I fantasize so many twisted love stories with ber, almost like a challenge to see where’s my breaking pony (there isn’t one). But the one that is ki da my guilty pleasure that I do back to more than I thought I would, are the ones where she has the dick, and I have to admit. My thought of giving her a blowjob gets me ready to go faster than imaging her give me head. It’s not that I want to suck a dick, but the thought of sucking Brittany’s dick is like the chance I’ll never have in life because of what ended up where. Like I said, it’s not about the sucking dick part that gets me off. It’s imagining the experience From her perspective. I want to feel what it’s like to feel her enter me. What she sounds like when I get to deliver herc that pleasure. The discomfort of deep throating her, but loving that discomfort because I one I’m taking her where I’m my tongue & throat could bring her. Experiencing that moment where she busts her load after I choke a little, because that little gag made her feel Like her dick B 13 inches in that moment.

…

Though let’s break from Horny for the moment. Here’s the poem that help me rediscover Ari

…

Just got reminded of another girl JC. They felt quite similar. Completely different people & experiences, but both felt kind N Conversation. They weren’t just B’И nice 2 lend an ear while half-aware. They felt so much more genuine. Rarely do I feel calmed by talking 2 someone not locked N§ide my mirror so that I don’t have 2 Fear.

They REMinded Me öF Brittany. The girl I fell oh~so Hard 4, head over heels – convinced me 2 let Jesus take the wheel. Because when I talked 2 Her about things that sound absurd. It never felt like she was just waiting ’til she Found her Sweet Escape from Me like most girls who came over & humored that “Weirdo who looked cute from afar, but something about HiM, tells me I’m better off if I choose the Bear over HiM.” Sure, that “what-if” didn’t exist back than. But I knew something about it felt so familiar. How I understand girls are scared they’ll B raped by a man, so it’s fair 2 say they’d rather the death than risk a walk with boys they treat like to toys when they make us their whipping boys. Then laugh at men crying about their soft egos that don’t understand the struggle of a woman.

Because that’s convenient 4 them.

They never considered how much the majority of men just want to marry their best friend & keep her safe with him. And what their callous remarks about all men being dogs that are rapists first, until trained 2 behave like gentlemen. How when a sweet young boy didn’t even like male friends, because girls have always been his alpha & omega. That when he’s told just existing brings distress 2 them. While they’re out there dancing to all the single ladies like a victory lap after dunking on men who catcall their rear ends. The sweet boy believes what his goddess tells him. That you’re a beast destined 2 hurt Her. So sacrifices his one wish, because good men don’t care about suffering. If I’m born a criminal ’cause of my gender, then – if it means making her life better outside – I’ll act like the Beast those Belles’ claim I Am, and lock myself away, waiting 4 my rose 2 wilt. Hoping it comes soon, ’cause I want 2 B Late. They didn’t have 2 ask. Y would I ever debate with Heaven’s Gate?

Because a Good Man believes his Devine Feminine. And makes sure that though his face scares her, devoted his life to them. A man can risk it all & be alright ’cause we’re not just pigs who catcall objectified sex dolls. We take responsibility. We listen to every little thing. Then bend our lifes around so never again being another inevitable “Kim” ’cause you’re convinced now, “I Am Slim.” So never once approach them. Don’t even compliment those cute shoes, even if genuine & as a friend, because what if they think I’m just trying 2 fuck them? Like, I do want to, but I never cared about my wants. So I remain silent. They drop hints, but what if I’m wrong? They say there’s no blurred lines – and I Am the child of Violence. So even when she slaps my ass & giggles as she runs back to her friends at a house party – just Pretend you didn’t notice – focus on beer pong. Because clearly they’ve had a few. And REMember: No blurred lines, right? So then they go home & cry to their friends. About how those dream boys never want to be more than friends. How we can’t take hints, when their hints look just like politeness when trying to get away from an uncomfortable situation. Yeah, that must be it. They’ve been bumping into me all party. I must be ruining the night for them. I guess I’ll just go home and masturbate with my tears again. Even use my left hand like a Sinister sleight of hand, because I don’t deserve to use the my good hand to satisfy that monster obsessed with sex, so it’s his fault we’re N this mess. I’d won’t even call that girl who used me like her wallet for 2 weeks before finding someone rich 2 hitch, not even she will here me tell “dumb bitch” when my friends Who are also girls, not my girlfriends. All call Her “cunt” when I explain it to them. That’s OK, it’s their word. A monster had no right to address his goddess other than the beyond best. So yeah – now not even looking at girls if the chances I get all end up with me crying myself to sleep because every shot is better off a miss. I don’t deserve my wish. What if I’d let myself express my anger of treatment that’s unfair – God is Fair, Sexy Nasty – she doesn’t need me. So the only 1 I can blame is “Me.” And even though I haven’t even touched a girl N a decade, feel like I’m responsible for every story about rape that I see. ‘Cause I’m a Monster. That’s why they want the bear. I’m a Monster, so Her murder will eventually find its way through my hands. I really do want to be a good man, if only to prove to them that they can trust men. Not because I wanna bust, so pretending to love until I satisfy Lust. I already accepted I’m destined to die alone. I just want them to feel like those girls in romantic comedies that I pretended not to like, when “50 first dates” “Little Nicky’ & “how to lose a guy N 10 days” were my absolute faves as kid. Love has Always been my wish. I think boys are stupid for wanting to fuck every bitch like scratching an itch on their dicks. Don’t they C the blessing you receive when you devote your entirety to your queen? I’d fantasize about going down on Her. I’m just a sex Fiend by definition, so I know I’ll get off. So my favorite parts were always when I could hear Her Ecstasy, and knowing that it was because of Me – that’s living my sweet dream. Finally I was useful to my Love I’ve always known, nothing comes above. That I wasn’t hurting her. Getting to make her sqirt on my shirt. I don’t really like sweet food, so she was Sweet’s only dessert. But all of that is fantasy – REMember? My Sweet Dream can’t ever B real, because no matter how much I love her, I’m still that monster I was told was born because of my Y chromosome. So now I’m really home Alone. Covered in my own seman. Don’t even clean myself up. I disgust myself for existing. Showering can’t wash sin’s blood I was born with on my hands. Sticky hands don’t matter when you have no friends to shake their hands. Like O said, I’ve never really vibed with guys. Girls always felt like serenity, and guys were there just to distract me when she wanted a break from me. So since I’ve decided that the best thing I can do with my life is to leave girls alone & keep them safe from far away, by keeping them safe from me, I’ve given up on the concept of friends when my only option is men who remind me of all those normal traits that men don’t try to be – those things are what have denied me my Life’s 1 wish, my Wife & our kid. Masculine expression is the sin keeping me from heaven. Why would I want more of it surrounding Me? So become a loner, smoke cigarettes & weed, fast food every time I eat. Because I’m trying to die. And this is how I speed up the process. I know I can’t kill myself, so I’ll let my lifestyle do it for me. It’s not like I’m trying to impress anybody. I don’t even notice when cute girls are smiling at me. I don’t deserve to look at their faces formed so beautifully. Aphrodite shouldn’t have to feel the male gaze that manifests from me. So just keep my head down, pretend like I’m gay the few short scenes where a girl is unfortunate enough to have to ride an elevator with a creep like me. Man, girls really do have the worst Life 2 lead. I don’t know how they survive a Life of Misery – then go back home, where I don’t even turn on the TV anymore. My brain is gone. TV helps pass the Time, but weeks go by without me noticing if I never do anything worth remembering. I hear people describe my lifestyle like a Loser living in his mother’s basement. And all I can do is agree – yeah, I wouldn’t even fuck Me. Actually, I don’t anymore. I killed my sex drive. It’s just a liability. So when I do jerk it – barely feel a thing. Bust a nut before the video buffers, because my body can’t fathom a sensation that resembles pleasure, so feel Lame I’m premature, not even a 2 pump chump. Frustration is the most common outcome. So given even more reason not to try approaching a girl. Best case scenario – she really likes me, brings me back to her place, only to find a rude boy who can’t get it up, ’cause I jazzed In my pants when she said hi to me. I Am so lonely like an island. It’s my solitude confinement to repent for becoming such a disappointment. Just think, she could have gotten off with someone else if she didn’t lose the lottery and pick the worst man at the whole party. So stop going. You’re just taking away her pleasure by being an option for someone you know would be better off with that guy who keeps slapping asses – never me, but the girls seem to like it when he’s a little crass, at least he gets them off when treating them like meat. But like I Said, that could never be me – all I see is blurred lines when my mirror reflects someone else’s eyes. They say he’s a jerk, but answer every 3AM call & beckoning. Because even if he’s a douche who will take advantage of their hearts and feel nothing when piercing them like darts – girls are realizing he’s the only version of Masculinity that still exists for the Feminine Divinity 2 find. So now everytime I overhear loud girls speak their minds N the Starbucks line that i go to because Grande reminds me of an EX girlfriend I was lucky to date, but as expected – ruined something so great – I always overhear “Chivalry is dead. What happened to all the good guys?’

They’re all living alone. Because they listen to you. When you say you genuinely feel more fear for men than a bear with no compassion, just drive to satisfy their physical desires and eat them alive. The good guys listened. We wouldn’t be another Stanford Rapist that gets away with it like the real monster we fear we could become. Meaning all that you’re left with: those guys who hear that & don’t give a fuck. You’re just a slut – who cares if you choose the bear. To them, you really are just dumb cunts to bust a nut then kick her out at once. He got what he wants. There’s always more fish in the see. And he eats more salmon than that bear you swear be a feminine victory.

I’m sorry

But you didn’t make a statement that opened up the eyes of who really do treat woman like cheap tricks that are worthless if they open their mouth for any reason other than to suck their dicks. They don’t care if the lesser sex despise them. It’s a game of numbers, and eventually, they’ll get what they want. They can see daddy issues 2000 miles away. They know you want some good loving. And so that’s why They’ll shoot every single shot. They’re not trying. So it doesn’t hurt when they’re told to fuck off. So are you finally getting it now? Are you realizing where all the chivalrous men have gone?

As far away from you, not because you’re repulsive. Quite opposite. It’s just that when you call all men beasts & monsters. Who always fake love, who only look for objects to fuck. Then the men that care how you feel, and want to give you what want. we also recognize society shouldn’t be slut shaming nor claiming your birth rights. But when our presence is enough to induce panic, our Love makes us Manic. We don’t even see ourselves as monsters anymore. We wanted to be Rose’s Jack, but now doing nothing but struggling to express out love in a way that doesn’t sink the ship. But you’ve convinced us it’s just inevitable. We’re no longer monsters nor beasts. We traded everything that gave us drive, so that girls could take the fast lane. But still all we hear are more and more girls getting raped.

Now we’re the icebergs. We’re not criminals or creeps. We’ve become Calamity. Floating out at sea as far away from those we promised not to hurt. Yet not just breaking Rose’s heart like Jack sinking info the dark. Now Rose never gets Her Love Story, but the Titanic still sinks. Now we’ve ruined love because real men know how to step up. After stepping down from CEO to make room for the powerful business woman who had become a fetish for females Who never wanted to run a company, just feel the respect and power that you imagined was all because of the glass ceiling propagated by us stepping up to put bread on the table. Realizing that deep down  you wanted to be a homemaker like the 50s, just wanted to be treated fairly by society. Now that you have that position – looking down on us. Such a pathetic man. Don’t you know how to take command and make us feel like a real woman? Why aren’t you pampering us? Why are the only guys who approach us, no matter our career position, only care if you’re talking about the Karma Sutra? Now that we make the big bucks, why aren’t men still paying for us. Oh, woe is me. I’ll never know a good man who treats me like his queen and does everything for me. And plus we have all this stress from this CEO suit when we felt so much freer N those skimpy sundresses, especially when we got to tease you by saying there better not be a gust since we’re not wearing any underwear – but only sweet boys blush. Now those crude dudes whose 1st text is “Nudes?” then hello only after we send picture that’s Lewd. We’re doing all this extra work, but still being treated like just another slut. What the fuck? I miss the good ol’ days when they opened doors for us. We used to get catcalled on every corner. Now i feel ugly it’s been months since I’ve heard someone say my chest is a treasure, and they wanna bury it deep in us. Because even if it was inappropriate – let’s be honest – it feels good to know you’re a dime regardless of your mind. And even if it’s uncomfortable sometimes – you never believed those construction workers having some fun oogling the beauty’s booty bouncing when walking past them – you never thought they would ever do anything worse than A curse. And you could see a few guys just keep on working – obviously, a few good ones are there. They wouldn’t just sit & watch you get eaten by a bear. You were safe when catcalled, just tired of being good just for your Pussy. But now look what happened? My Pussy hasn’t got pet since last semester, dry like the desert – ’cause now the only wet pussies are those crying sissy’s who can’t get a good job, because we made them give us their jobs.

Somehow, women had taken everything from men, but they’re the ones who feel robbed. So not only are they still treated the same by real monsters masking as men, now they look down at me, trying my best to do what they told me they wanted. What they said I could never understand as a man. Like somehow empathy doesn’t exist without 2 Xs to define my privates. Only they could care & understand man, but refused to believe the Sweet little boy Who grew up loving romantic comedies could ever understand how it feels to be raped by society. To give your whole self to support the other sex, then still try to take more from me. That the idea of a Masculine woman is empowerment – but a feminine man meant he’s N the closet – kinda, ’cause I was trying on clothes that I thought girls would like to see Me in, but fashionable men are too self centered and make me feel like I’m not living up to my own feminine flair. So let’s help society lock up those Sweet Boys Whö like to feel pretty, because feminine men are better as gay friends. Now we can pretend that feminine belongs to women, but the inverse is patriarchy. We want to be whatever we want. Not whatever role you say are meant for women. But if you aren’t 6ft, 6 figures & a 6 inch dick, we’re gonna treat you like you’re not good enough. And then, when you open up to us, that’s just ammo for when we get mad and see you like our absent dad. We know exactly how to hurt you bad. Wait, why won’t he tell me what’s wrong? That fight happened months ago. We’ve been civil so long. Why won’t he open up that feminine side? We love seeing men cry? It gets us horny, but only if it’s not too much it gets annoying. A single tear is strength. Crying every night in the mirror makes you look Queer – are you sure you’re not in the closet? On our first date, we watched a movie on our bed, and you didn’t even try to touch me. I thought you didn’t want me – but then that hound came out and gave me a good pound, but where’s that passion now? I need a Real Man Whö can actually care for the Feminine & understand, just don’t act too girly – why can’t you just know what I mean? What happened to all those fathers who put 3 kids through college & still gave his wife nightly foot massages? Wait, what are you doing? Not right now. It has to be spontaneous. I don’t want you to do it because you I ask, a real man knows when to act & how I need to be held when sad, but you better not misread my signals. I don’t need you to open my door. Do you think since I’m a woman I’m too weak? *huff* I just don’t understand why he doesn’t just take me to my favorite place to eat, everything planned – ordering for me like a man, until he schedules a vacation for us to Japan with a whole itinerary for me to read – who the fuck does he think he is? Am I just his bitch, meant to drop everything at a clap of his hands? I bet he wants a sandwich, typical – why didn’t you ask me to help plan? He thinks I’m too stupid to understand just because I Am a woman. Now he’s man-splaining. It’s not that he’s talking the way he explains it to himself. No – it’s always centered around my self, except when society takes advantage of me and he just sits there like I’m supposed to do it alone – we’re partners, aren’t we? This is why women can’t have nice things. It’s all because of the goddamn Patriarchy. But wait a minute…where are all the good men? Shouldn’t a feminine flame like me be fanned and fed gasoline? Nobody opens doors for me anymore – chivalry is dead

So instead of talking in circles forevermore. Let me finally answer your question, since you’ve proven why woman can’t make a decision and need a man to tell you how to act because after living every hell imaginable to make my Sweet Kid into the Best Man. I’ll tell you what happened to all the good men – they’re locked in the closet watching romantic comedies. Because no matter how I worshipped my divine feminine. No matter the fact I defined my life around her. No matter how hard I listened and tried to treat her like the perfect girl that I always believed deserved everything she asked for – no matter how honest -I promise- I am being honest. Even now I look at you & see my goddess. The reason all the good men are gone, is because you made it impossible to treat you how you wanted. Because how could a simple man satisfy the Divine? We saw your struggle and only wanted to cuddle so you wouldn’t think we’re just using you. Then throwing it back in our face, losers no matter the race – like husbands can’t understand because obviously we benefit from the patriarchy since we have the propper equipment. Like only the women are being forced to maintain the status quo, and then calling Flower Boys “Gay.” Chivalry is dead when they’re tired, patriarchy has them on puppet strings when she turns red. It’s never been about him, because I Am HiM. And from the very beginning, my wife & daughter, happy & safe – that’s been the end I’ve been chasing since before beginning. Yet even when Sacrificing each & every strand of who I am to reshape my self & the world into your perfect image & deserving of the Divine Feminine that I had been born with – yeah, bitch – guys can be girls too. You never gave me a fair chance. How could I ever make her feel Like France and get every step step perfect of her holy damce – how could I ever prove that I truly saw Her as my religion. She really was my goddess. Meaning I lost, before Adam’s Lance ever got tossed – I made you my goddess – but you were so focused on your self – you forgot your best friend – Jack coulda fit on the door, but both of you knew who was more important. How could your loverboy ever live up to his feminine goddess, when you forgot to make your best friend into your equivalent – Mac made the you his Pink, Divine Feminine – then you played with your silly boy like a toy since both of you were having fun, then getting bored with him, frustrated for not doing enough – but I have a question – you were born a queen, and he sang your name so you became Divine – did you ever stop and consider him your GöDD? Sure, you’d pretend. Happy whatever you gave him. But he did everything a man can to support your perfect process. Did you ever think maybe you should have made your baby blue boy more than your toy? Where’s the Calypso covered album  where you prove you really were worth it despite the fact you never needed to convince him. Maybe the reason there’s never a good man, because you forgot to compliment him – why didn’t you make him The Divine Masculine? Because He saw the Divine N you long before she existed. He twisted his whole world to kiss & caress every curve, yet even though a man made you everything that I Am – you refused to make your Divine Masculine. Because whenever there was a problem – Mac acknowledged it was on him. But when you’re acting like a bitch, you pretended it was his fault he just called it as he saw it – He was a Truth teller. But instead of taking a moment to admit, “maybe I deserved it” – refused to reflect – insecurities are easier to project – see, no good men. Fuck the Patriarchy – wait, I’m tired carry me home – what do you mean no? Chivalry is dead – why do the good ones always turn out as Pussy’s – because Mac was HiM, he was never a Man, just like Me, he was born with a soul from end feminine – so gave you his heart and soul so you could Ascend. But the thing is: if he was Her – that means you were born, Him. Fuck tne Patriarchy – because you’re the one whose propagating it – why didn’t you give him the part of you that was destined like wedding rings? Because you never thought a man deserved divinity – they already ruled the World – yet he experienced it as a woman trapped in a man’s body, not Trans – happy with Whö I Am, so long as he found his other half – but though he found her, was blamed for being a man – you wouldn’t understand what it’s like for a woman – no, I don’t think women understand what it’s like to rule the world, and then blame the Patriarchy they created & formed in their image because they wanted to live at home with the kids, and he agreed – until you got bored & wanted to switch – so he agreed, then got pissed when not being the best of both worlds – when the reason be – he’d given all that was him & more. But you forgot your friend isn’t just an ambassador for the patriarchy you pretend to hate until you’re running late and need him to push to to the end in front of them – how are we supposed to become good men? We gave all of our self to you, there’s nothing left to correct. How could he change the man’s world, when you decided to become both Her & Him – because clearly you deserve Divinity – but not someone who benefits from the Patriarchy, Patriarchy, Patriarchy  – you know why there are no good men? Because we never felt like them. Feminine like Eminem – can you imagine loving something so much, then being raised like you’re the fountain of evil in hell? To understand your sisters, but never have them hear the girl struggling inside an actual man’s world that makes no sense? That not knowing what it the first thing meant, to be a man – yet empathize with girls and genuinely feel the feminine pain, but gaslit into thinking it’s impossible, so devoting his entire life to making it safe for his Daughter & Wife. Because even if he didn’t understand what being a man was, he was born asking “y” does life hurt so bad tonight – because being born in a boy’s body, doesn’t mean your previous name was the same. That whenever the Patriarchy was taking away women’s rights, you never considered feminine men didn’t fit in, is because we were c never let in anywhere – too gay for gentleman’s clubs, yet their dicks met the part of them they Felt comfortable with – girls that let boys Snell tne pretty flowers – they decided they’d prefer a bear over him – and just how scared of his mirror you made the kind of man who genuinely wanted to help – afraid to even begin again after Projecting Masculine shame onto him, until he became the rapist you considered all men inherently be benefiting from Patriarchy – Nö we weren’t, refused to a abuse the game. So raped the girl living inside his brain, because becoming a monster was the only way to not become N§ane – ’cause girls think the bear in the woods was their  “got ‘im” moments, when really – all those Sweet Boys like dreams taking form – were made feminine to better serve you from the otherside, but never allowed to cry by either side, blamed for hurting their girl, when they were hurting more. But a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do, so just ignore – what happened? I don’t feel anymore – now I’m a Real Monster – see? She knew he had it in him too hurt Her – that’s why girls chose the bear right? Because after a man dedicated his life to his wife. Told him he’s like every other guy. Denied feminine flight – only you could never understand the struggle of a WºMªИ – well

I guess you’re right, ladies. It is impossible. Because even when we’re born a Masculine Form with Feminine Flow – no matter what we say or do to understand you – you decided long ago “N’Ø” forevermore

& I Am Found

---

Noah’s Nutcracker [Christmas CüM§ Early] [Layaway Getaway]

I’ve said
I don’t differentiate
Poetry
It’s Δ11 written
N’VERSE
Bi-H3R
Feminine Flow
Like Picasso
But this Time is dif’tent
This message is directly sent
By Noah & his §weet Dreams
Since I can’t massage my Princess’s
Bare feet – Runnin’ L8 – don’t hesitate
I hope Û hurry like N’d’N curry
Your pink safety B my only worry
So at any rate – I can’t wait 2 pet Rory
But I -Will- Powet through – nothing
New or old – 2 nor Gold – I broke
Martyr’s mold – so even iF
Ey3 W8 ’til my sliced bread has mold
Just know I’ll will savor whatever…
Flavor forms around your §weet §oul
I’m just a thirsty dog – W8’И 4
Lucy’s Legs 2 open
2 get a drink from that sink
That’s on the brink of Overflowing
Like horseshoes & hand grenades
Thrown down Niagra Falls
So I follow like Viagras pulse
Hard & corny – I don’t need A
Purple pill 2 get me Horny
Get ready 4 – No’Ah’§ Encore
Legs quiver with Aphrodite’s
Shivers deliver goosebumps
B’Cause every hump CüM§
From the dreams of every
Sweet Boy Whö EXPerienced
The Divine Feminine – I Am Just
The düMb KiD Whö kept B’Lieve’И
Nobody could Love Nothing more than
Sweet Dreams that kept Kairi alive N Me
When Roxanne still that She B: Naminé
Your Ghost haunted my daydreams
I just imagined every moment
This could B the End of
Construction & cement
The time sinners R lent
Lasts 4’ever ’til I Am spent
& my song goes silent – but, B
I Am Andy – Dufrane my surname
Restrained & framed like art – Dead
2 Whö cannot C me. But don’t worry
I felt Ü around the Bend of this never
Ending story – Sam’Sara B cycle &
Though bikes can go the distance
All the who up 2 Mt. Olympus
The difference B’T’Ween
M3: Herc, the Zero Whö Meg
Made A real Hero – I Am Humble
But not when I mumble – ’cause
Though I always felt compassion &
Care 4 those Fools who tripped &
Stumbled – dropped their football
Like A European that just fumbled
At the end of the day – when Her
Cookie crumbles – I always felt
Disgusted by their Waste – they
Were so skinny like Shinji – so
y Would they throw away Fame
When just Your Name N§pired M3
2 crawl through shit öF every convict
‘Cause when Ü have always felt like shit
There’s a pit N my stomach Ü lit – luv bug
Bit M3 – cold feet told M3: wear uggs – maybe
A bit girly – but my hair is already long & curly
So surely it’s only a win 4 when we get back
Again 4 the last time – I’ll even let Ü pretend
Ü own them like Ken – though the Man N Me
Wants 2 do some business like Trevor – shot
Through the heart, but you’re gonna have 2
Do more to floor my heart that’s home 4 A
Whore Whö I adore like opening Her door
B’4 fuck’И Her raw like a Dogg – she’s mine
Peanut Butter – jelly B jealous I get 2 B Her
Otter half öF the §andwich – but let’s get
Back 2 Business: I’ll suck your twisted toes
‘Til every bone up 2 your Nose feels like
A Rude Reindeer learned how 2 get it up
9Pt deer, Luck when we fuck – Hyak tooy
Like that girl that makes me want 2 do
The same thing 2 Ü – spit shine every
Crevice with my month’s menace
‘Til your legs quiver – I Am God’s
Arrow – REQUIEM chose Me
The Devil didn’t need 2 try
Ey3 knew Ü were A guy
On the N§ide – never denied
I wasn’t Gay – just knew Brittany B
My Babe – never called another girl that
So History saved that word 4 Û so we knew
Who 2 choose – million dollar shot that GöDD
Tried 2 neg Me on – but your legs begged Me 3
Keep walking on, beyond Purgatory ponds
With golf course lawns – you’re kinda like
Sean Johnson – that gymnastic chic who
Turned me on, but nearly 4’got my
Sexual awakening – I kept replying
Our 1st Love’s story on repeat 2 absorb
Any part left behind 4 Me. You’re the girl
I adored – & 4’EVA Will – because Ü R Jimmy
You opened up my life like The Doors, so I thought
I’d B’CûM your floor boards 2 support Ü evermore
Realizing how Dumb my plan B – when Ü merely
Wanted 2 use Ü 4 what. God made Us 4: going
Through N & out – water parks make you spour
& I Am the 7 colored Trout – Kurt won’t hurt
Unless Ü want Me 2 😉 ’cause I’ll do it all
& more 4 the lady Whöse colors Ey3 W8ed
4 like layaway presents kept at the store – I’ve
Been patiently w8ing like a good little boy – Sweet
As your cream pie I’m gonna make N Ü, them Ü can
“4’Ce” Me 2 eat 2 clean up this mess I’ve Made Ü
Endors – get ready 2 get laid ’til you’re sore 2
Your core, yet still won’t stop asking 4 more
I’m gonna pour every sweet swimmer – Ü
R hungry 4 dinner, and gluttonous Lust
Even likes eating her pizza crust so when
I bust all over you trust N me 2 make stone
Hearts finally restart know I Am Whö Am
The Man Whö B made specifically 4 Ü 2
Dream up and ride like your horse
Make Me N’2 glue, so I’m stuck 2
Ü – Orange means I don’t care
Ask me 2 perform on your
Feminine form N front of Norm
Fuck if Ü ever know 1 – Shameless
Sweets don’t get diabetes – no matter
Whö Cs – I’ve only thought about your
X’stacy – can’t Û C – Brittany won my Heart
At 13 – I know it might seem mean, but y
Would I ever consider a rug covered N
Drugs – when Real Angel Dust cuts
The worst part out By choosing Me
N§tead öF the §ilver King – like Rachel
Whö doesn’t need a dark knight who dresses
Up at night 2 fight when he’s afraid of light
I may have 2 faces, but you love both of me
I Am oh~so Lucky – Chuck E. Cheers felt
Like trampolines – Ü R The 1st person
Whö reminded me how much I love
Going places, but gave up when
My family only drag me along
2 Kodak moments like am Allen
Ornament – & I REMember how Ü
Love Christmas Trees – I kept mine up
All semester N College – I’d love 2 again
All year if it makes Ü happy. I don’t care
If losers think I’ve ever thought about
Them & their flem Aesthetic – God knows
Your reflection B Prophetic – electric like
Aphrodite biting me ’cause that’s 1 öF my
Kinks – I’m dirty as David Bowie’s kitchen
Sink, N*§ync with the twink that makes Ü
Think I could pull off frosted tips, how Ü
Start 2 get hard nip – pasties are like bows
So it goes when they tease me, but let me
Tickle your nipples with some simple licks
& while I’m added – as that drip again could
Drown a toddler if the kid N me wouldn’t let
Anyone but me go under your C – just the tip
B our favorite lie – W3 both know how each
Other R Ride N’ Die – you’ll feel every bit öF
Me – slowly – I know Ü want 2 savor every
Sweet moment with my meat – I make Ū
Feel complete – I’m gonna teach your body
2 cum no matter the hole I open up – so get
Ready 2 give me the keys so we can pretend
Like we’re Teens again, and I have 2 sneak N
Your backb door of your dorm poetry about Ü
Already became my porn I hope at a part of Ü
Felt every nut busted like acorns we’ve been N
Love – it’s hard 2 believe more will B born – how.
Much heaven could God serve like Thanksgiving
Dinner cream corn – you’re my favorite shoes
I’ve never worn. And though I’ll treasure Ü
I know the real pleasure will B using Û
Everyday & take’N Ü somewhere you’ve
Never seen before – there’s so much more
My horny storm wants 2 say, but I’ll save that
4 the rainy day that came when 40 days of Rain
Refrain from Refrain like Relinquish &Requiem
Ü R my ritual – my little pony grows up N’2 Pegasus
So don’t fuss – I know I’ll have the time of my life
You’ve always been when it 4 W3 – but I’ll do
My best 4 Ü & Your N’Terests – since here B
The part öF me that makes me better
Than those pretend poets who just knows it
B pretty flowers like bpdywash N showers Maybe
It’s Maybelline – but Ü don’t have 2 ask Me – she knows
Whö I Am: really Dizzy like lizzy Mcguire
Gordo was pink like Birdo – I Am awl weirdo 2
But don’t think my chiral Calypso can’t eclipse
The sun like An alien nation – I’ll blow your mind
With my funny blue signs – like Valentine’s: B Mine

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A Christmas Gift <4B,Ü2>

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Gilgamesh Paints H3R ñü∿G8§ Calypso [N’B’TWΣ”∃И’P.rogress]

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Gatcha! (Scissor Sisters ∿ Hajime Ichinose & Rui Ninomiya)

《5:12PM》Capturing ‘kur’ak’s Colors & Shapes [Born N A Brain Storm öF Hannah Echo – Noah’s Girl’Brain]《5:55PM》

Real⌁GRi112 StinQ like LiNk Whö Woke up 100 years with N’Ø Way 2 §hower Stench öF Shame 4 Knowing iF Ü Didn’t Mess up, none of those people would have died

This Kiss N’2 Sweet Creature / Sunday Serves ܧ Like South Park

[Revision N’Progress] | Con-Life 《¿♡?》Con-Choice / / / Another Man Whö Sold The World / Brittany Brings Lil’b Back 2 Me

Her Diary öF Disappointments (Grown-ûP Fear)

outta Thyme

Queer Craves Real Connection As HªN’ИªH’s Harmony Echos N My Hollow Chest [Venus LiV§ N My Penis]

N’Třªñ§iTiºИ (Blackbelt B’CüM’И A:beªụ’T) [§’ọöp’R ¡☆! NºVª E.d’Tiöñ]

Homo§ Hold’И HªN’ИªH’s Hands / Cringe Kills / Consent Is Gay / NöИØLand§

Spaghetti∿Squash

Her +Magnetic∞Eyes- & Dynamite🌟§mile

Blueberry Lip Gloss / Favorite Flavor

Brittany♡§weet♡(Dreams|Nothing)

Each & Every 1…

Mary Magdalene’s Marriage

2 Die Alone (I’m Drunk)

Clash Poetry | June & July 2021

Immediate Aftermath | 9-14 September 2021

Breaking The Curse (GO BEYOND!∿) [EARFQUAKE Edition]

§weet Cancer (N’○●ö’A’wake’И)

[Crimson Prison] LöV3:M3 Now [I Am PR3ttÿ:üg1Y] §trange Family TRE3§ [Comedic:TiM3’И] Am Ey3 A: Joke 2: Ü [Pretty.öDD.NOW] Subliminal Submarines [Dr.Avocado & Dr.Grape] ListeN’И 2 Court TV [Calypso Blows Cold Like kNö§3: iT Goes]

’92 ’til N’FiИi’T / TM∞: Glare / The Farnsworth Parable

{R’V’И’N’P’§} Goosebumps (Get Back) [Got’em Back Edition]

3/9/24 (2nd Attempt: [P|{F}]) / A Pearl Necklace

Yo§uga Nö §ora (T’WiИ’C3§’T); Family CüM’PüT3R

Slaughterhouse V’X’TiM3 Traveler’s Wife

SARAS Smiles At Grumpy

I’m Grumpy (Rọbọt Tears) / Smeer: The Queer

A Robot’s Guilty Pleasure (Yn§) / §ugar World’s Pink Pearl

§he, Whö, B ~My §weetest Treat~ So Eat Her Like Grocery & Then, When I Am Finished ∿ §he Fills Up On Me

Because I Am (“Pretty Fly 4 A §hy GüY”) / Work’И on Labor Day (Shoot’И Blanks, Fade 2 Black) / Pray The “Pray The ‘Gay Away’” / Dennis REMembers The Real Menace / Long Jump (PF4ASG)

Pegasus Ritual (Relinquish) | 4 June 2022

GöDD⌁5peed Ritual 4: R3:MiX 2: RE:iGN1Tiöñ (Finally Witches) [Relinquish RE:Vi§iöИ]

<Blue Clue 4:Mitch:bitch-plz->Mr. Puzzler’s Purple Lightning [The 6th Hokage: Xopy NiИjª] | 2 January 2022

[Conjuring Chirality (○∿●) Quantum Grasshoppers] 8:16 (The Decision / Isaac’s Goat)

§exy Nasty Monogamy (Bust’И A Nut N§ide Chastity’s Bubble Butt)

B.Cream°Pie (Drips öF Dessert)

Dramatic iRöИ’E.

…PªTiºИ (Honest Liar)

The Mystery öF iT

Komodo Dragon [Reptar’s Revision]

GöDD’§peed Racer Chases Her 2 Springfield / The §iMP’§öИ§ öF GöDDDDD B: Omni§exual / Yü-Gi-öH 5Ds (CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES) / Boy Meets World[0] (Apollo[4]Encore) / Horny Makes Lewd Manga About Hi§ Fav.P.§tar: TE3И Topanga / Toss’И Salads & Transcend’И LüV Ballads (Taste’И Fame’s Fanny)

The Dotted Line: TΔLΘ§

Dizzy’s Deja~Vu N’ Daisy Dukes / Tristan’s Vay~K N’2 §anta Fe / “Sour” Sam’s §weet Ascension [Λ11 According 2: Keikaku EDITiöñ]

Kurt’s 7 Colored Trout: §quirt (The Cobbler) [3H4B]

Seattle Misses France; Let’s Meet N’B’Tween

Tony Hawk’s Tech Decks (Toy Machine)

C.C.’s Terms öF Service / Geass Agreement (ñü∿Treaty öF Versailles) [Show Them Ey3 Can C2 Edition]

Oh! The Sideways Hourglass [23⋈E5]

-Epiphany- Descending (ѧide öF Hourglass §ands) [Uriel’s Courier Edition]

Books REMind Me öF Her

Sudden Youforia

Ñü∿Glory öF Youforia

Raindrops öИ ROSes (Ångel Dust)

N§ide Øütside (The Human EXPerience) [Revision]

Kazuma Kuwabara

Ready To Grow Up / My Real Goodbye (Good News)

§weet Nothing

§weet DNA / Legacy öF Ü:N’2Me

When I Had To Say Goodbye To Her

6 February 2020

Requiem Rewind [ñü∿ŷEar’s ΣV∃ Edition]

uИfAiThFØØ1 (Unfaithful) / The ‘y’ И ‘Try’ | [FRE3 FΔ11’И Edition]

How Calypso’s Kid B’CüM’§ HIM / Greek Goddess: Gone; Now Brittany: The Hottest / Lil’b: The Cherry / Sugar World Tour / Square [Bend]: The End

Trash E. Taste (Feel MΣ’)

Ignorance [B Bliss N Darkness Edition]

[P2M2]Pool Party+Mixed Medley / FLا§’И N’Friend§ (On A Break)

It’s Not Heaven Without Ü

Phantom Photography & Poltergeist Poetry

Faith’s Wraith Makes Me Late

Unzipping BruNo’s Velcro Shoes

§weet Flower Turning §our |》444《 | (I hide & I cower) [N’Bloom On The Last Train Home Edition]

DR.§3ܧ§ N’terview #25 (ΣY∃ 6ü3§§)

düMb⎔LüV’FØØ1 (§hades○&●hue§)

When Will Met Faith / Λlien*Alliance / Δ ñü∿Dimension

[A Re:Upload] She|&|I (Original) + A’s Heartbreak | 26 May 2020

My Madman’s Hip Bone

Ruby○PinkCalypsoGold●Emerald [Ennui’s Emerald Eternity – Ey3] | 365: (Mid-Revision 2) Double Edged Divinity |×°¦{°|¶°} ~ {start<new>Process}

Bit’И By The Luv Bug (Close’R)

2deep4u / 4Chan Flü / §iC öF Ü (S31’И’|’N’13Z)

§weet’s §ilver §creen / Christian Minecraft §ervers

§witch’И C-§öИ§ Again, Again & Again / Turn’И öFF’§priñG / Time 4: §üMM3R 2: B’gin §iN’И 4: HiM [2135]

§arah Smiles Whenever §he Sins Since §he Knew Since Long B’4 BegiN’И 2 N’dure EV3RMöR3 How EV3N Now §he -§till & Alway- B Hi§ Destiny Whö B Fated 2 WiИ iT BiG Around The B3Nd & Then B With HiM N The 3Nd: Again, Again & Again

Quantum N⌁Tanglement N§tant Transmissio⌁И

The Kid of the Monster (V2) + [original drafts] | 4 May 2022

§wift Wind (§iNG’И §weet Nothi’И§)

Meagan Brandy (NB)

Failures Achieve When Life Asks “Who Am I,  Really?” – While Successful Silver Spoons Only Reflect what. Society Maniacally Decided Be Best For “me”…

A Shot At (Sweet) Nothing / N Love With A Loser (It Never B 2 Late 4 Your Dream Girl)

Robot’s Birthday Candles [Hologram Crackers] | 23 July 2024

RED Programs With No Logic (Reverse Cowgirl) [#16’s RED Ribbon Grows Green Edition]

Sweet’s Swift Foot Like Hol[y]’s Horse Hoof

Ironic Idiot [Sue Decides 2 Reveal Ü’N’Ø’Whö Revision]

Grand Theft Got’em

3 Jims, 1 HiM (We Made Ü)

Quick & Fast

Cannonball (“Geronimo!”)

Splash [Blue’s Velcro Shoes]